<p>Nrdsb4: Your description of your dog’s response to seeing a similar dog to your beloved white lab is heartbreaking. I am sorry for the lost of your beloved dog.</p>
<p>@missbwith2boys I’m so sorry that your family is going through this. Best wishes as you help your pooch to the peaceful journey to the rainbow bridge. </p>
<p>@intparent, my other children all live in other cities far from my home or countries (UK and Quebec). The only two in the area are the two youngest–DD3 who just graduated from HS on Friday and is off to her university orientation tomorrow and DS3 who is home for the summer and DOES help me out a great deal with Stan. I had to go to a memorial in Chicago a week ago and he cared for Stan, and he understands my financial situation fully. He is, in fact, the only child of mine who gets it. </p>
<p>It is perplexing, @HarvestMoon1, London D’s attachment to a dog that has been with us 1.6 years. She decidedly was NOT living at home, as she’s been in the UK since 2005. But as a couple of you have said, it may be some form of PTSD related to her father’s abandoning her when her beloved Rocky was dying. She only visits a couple of times a year, so it’s not like she has ever seen him much, either. </p>
<p>Can you get the London daughter to defray the boarding costs when you have to travel? I feel you might regret a decision made when uare exhausted and at the “end of your rope”! Though I do understand…as an “empty nester” with a retired horse, goat, 2 St Bernards, and a cat…sometimes I would rather go to yoga than walk the dogs, and be able to go away with hubby for a weekend than have to make a bunch of boarding/animal care arrangements. However, 90% of the time I am happy to be greeted by critters who love me.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Thanks. The first time it happened, I was actually walking him (I had transported him to the new house and stayed a few days to observe how he did). He saw the dog, started screaming/crying and it about broke my heart. I cried a little.</p>
<p>HarvestMoon1, your post is rude and uninformed. </p>
<p>First, despite my unfortunate username leftover from my college days, I have been living on my own and working for years with no outside support. </p>
<p>Secondly, I not only have several pets of my own, but I have had give up my housing for my pet when the rules changed and scramble to find something else (again, all on my own). </p>
<p>And finally, I have had to care for a special needs animal requiring round the clock care, which meant no vacations, and no breaks and not being able to leave the house for more than my job. I won’t even mention the costs. This is all on my own with no outside support, with sleep deprivation and 4 am feedings and trying to make it on my own. So you know what, don’t you talk to me about real life. I lived it. </p>
<p>Oh, and P.S. would do it all over again. They deserved nothing less. </p>
<p>I think you are putting down the OP to make yourself feel better (and bit more of a martyr) regarding your own choices. Give it a rest, you are irrational and not making an effective argument at all.</p>
<p>I was responding to HarvestMoon1,not OP. I am not going to be told I don’t know what real life is and have never had to sacrifice anything. If you notice, didn’t bring my own experience into it until now. And you know what, don’t tell me to give it a rest. No one’s asking you to read my comments. Feel free to block or ignore. And I am going to keep saying what I feel I need to. </p>
<p>I hope you will take the same care of your kids and will never be in a situation when you will have to choose between buying bread for your kids and kibble for your dog. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>Clearly NOT the situation discussed in this thread. </p></li>
<li><p>My parents had little money and they managed to take care of me AND the dog. </p></li>
<li><p>Not too interested in having kids. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>
</p>
<p>Difficult to avoid your comments, you have taken over the thread… with no practical suggestions to offer.</p>
<p>I was all ready to leave the thread if people didn’t post incredibly rude comments telling me I haven’t faced hard/stressful times. I am not asking to be a martyr, as you put it. I am happy with my choices. But don’t tell me I haven’t lived something when I have. And yeah, maybe I should have just walked away and not said anything. But it felt wrong to leave it like that because of how false everything that person said was.</p>
<p>And people on this forum get worked up all the time over politic, ACA, gun control, birth control, colleges, who knows what else. Personally, I am not going to go and yell at anybody over those things. I think everybody needs to relax and try to see the other side’s point of view (maybe I should try telling people on those threads that). </p>
<p>But this is what I am passionate about. This is probably at the top of what I am passionate about. And yes, I am going to speak out about it. I am not insulting anyone (the worst I said was ‘irresponsible’), which is more than I can say for many others who have called me everything from an extremist to someone who has never faced hardship, all for arguing that stress is not a legitimate reason to get rid of an animal. So before you post horrified responses about how mean I am to the OP for arguing my position, maybe you should take a long, hard look at yourself. I am not the one doing the name calling. </p>
<p>You are irrational. The OP is not talking about abandoning the dog or taking him to the pound. A dog CAN attach to other people. My relative died and my dog has attached just fine to our family. Would she be happy to see him again? Thrilled, I am sure. But it didn’t “ruin her life” to come to a different family. I actually think that if it weren’t for the reaction and emotions of her kids, there is nothing wrong with the OP finding Stan another carefully selected home.</p>
<p>Calling someone irrational over and over again is not an argument.</p>
<p>Find me one quote where I said it would “ruin her life” or that the dog can’t attach to other people. </p>
<p>You are the one being irrational. Young children can also attach to other people. Is it irrational to say don’t give away your kids due to stress? People with dementia often can’t even remember their relatives. Is it irrational to say you shouldn’t sign them off to the state and never see them again? Just because someone can adjust doesn’t mean it’s right to put them through it. If it’s not a big deal, why don’t we just give away pets (as long as we find them a nice-seeming home) every time we get bored with them. Your argument makes no sense. </p>
<p>And if I am so ‘irrational’ go talk to a rescue about their views on pet ownership for life. These are people that actually works with animals. Stability is important as is commitment. They don’t say don’t give up an animal unless, oh, but don’t worry about it if you are not taking it to the pound. </p>
<p>This has degenerated into name calling and arguments that have nothing to do with what the OP asked. It seems nothing more can be said that the OP hasn’t already heard, so the thread is being closed. I understand this is an emotional topic, but people have to keep it civil. acollegestudent isn’t the only one guilty of some overly harsh posts. In the future, please state your position, accept that others can legitimately feel differently no matter how wrong that seems to you, and try to stick with addressing the issue raised.</p>
<p>Per the request of the OP, I am reopening the thread, but warning everyone to tone it down, don’t snipe at each other, and stick with addressing the issue. Otherwise it will be closed again without the possibility of further review.</p>
<p>Now having said that, here is my two cents. (Disclaimer: I haven’t been able to read the whole thread so apologies if this is repetitious) It seems to me that the law, and society, recognize that when a mother or family cannot take care of their (human) child/children, they are better off with another family. Obviously it is a last resort and a wrenching decision, but if that is our standard then clearly we cannot say it should be a more burdensome standard for a pet. I think it is presumptuous to assume that the pet owner hasn’t already made every sacrifice possible, at least in this case. So while I totally understand not liking the idea that a pet will be displaced from the only situation they have known, most are quite adaptable.</p>
<p>I also don’t quite get the line of thought of “you knew when you took in this pet that it was supposed to be for life”. Things change all time. People lose jobs, get sick, lose a spouse (with income), and to say that everyone’s reaction to these life-changing circumstances should be the same is not rational. Not at all saying rehoming the pet is something that should be done lightly, but to act like it should never happen doesn’t make sense to me.</p>
<p>So while I appreciate the passion and big heart that goes with wanting the best for a pet, just like with children sometimes the most love you can show is doing what is truly in the best interest of that child/pet. I can’t imagine a harder decision though.</p>
<p>If you can’t take care of your dog, better to give the pet to someone who can. I hate it when I see dogs in backyards by themselves for very long periods of time. Although the owners may not realize it, isolating their dogs without any human companionship can make them crazy. I see this all the time and it irritates me to no end. Many times a family will get a dog for the children and when the novelty wears off, the furry friend is banished from the house. Again, give the dog to someone who will take care of him, if you can’t.</p>