<p>Just want to comment that this thread has stirred some sad memories, though it’s not a very similar situation. </p>
<p>In fact, it’s kind of hard to tell what’s going on with the OP’s D’s bf because “she thinks he might be depressed” is so vague. Hopefully, everyone knows that if a kid says something like, “I think I’ll kill myself,” the red lights would go on and no one would hesitate to tell parents, counselors, other friends and get help racing to the one in need. But this doesn’t always happen and the consequences are devastating and irrevocable. </p>
<p>In his junior year, a close friend of S1 committed suicide during the h.s. spring break. None of his 16-year-old male friends saw it coming – except for one brief email the boy sent to one friend saying he felt “all alone” and that he’d probably always be alone. The friend replied with a “snap out of it, man” answer and they made plans to go to a paintball place in a group that weekend. The parents never saw it coming, either, in fact his grades were improving and he had recently gone on a date with a girl he liked a lot. Trimmed his almost-shoulder length hair, wore a shirt with buttons and put on pants instead of shorts (a major statement for this kid). They thought he was fine. The person that did see it coming, the girl he went out with on the date, thought she had handled the situation well when she told him she didn’t want to be his GF per se, just friends. And when, a few days later, he poured out his heart to her and told her he was thinking of committing suicide, she thought she had talked him out of it. She really thought she had talked him out of it, so she told no one what he had said. Not his other friends and not his parents or her own. (This was spring break, so she wasn’t able to tell a counselor but I’m not sure she would have since she thought she had handled it.)</p>
<p>Two days after the conversation with the girl, this boy waited until his parents went to work and then swallowed the rest of the bottle of vicadin that had been prescribed for him (four wisdom teeth taken out a few days earlier) and also a lot of cough medicine. Apparently, he had researched on the internet how to commit suicide with pills and cough medicine. My S and the other friends found out about it the next day when they called to find out why he was late arriving for the drive to the paintball place. The guys called the girl, a mutual friend, and told her and that’s when she told them of her earlier conversation with the boy. </p>
<p>Of course, the parents and younger brother (who found him) were heartbroken. The mother is a SAH mom mostly who works part time as an accountant and is only busy around tax time (spring break). In the first week or so after it happened, when she could talk through the sobs, she would say: We didn’t know. If I’d known I never would have gone to work that day…we’d have gotten him counseling…we would have done something.
Why didn’t she tell us? </p>
<p>This teenage girl did not want to betray a confidence so she didn’t tell anyone. She thought she had successfully talked him out it because they talked for a long time on the phone and she got him to say he didn’t mean it. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times there’s a suicide prevention program or article that says, don’t ignore these signs, get help. </p>
<p>The point is, kids should not be counseling each other and thinking they can solve a friend’s problems just by talking. If friends make a plea for help, please tell a counselor right away, with urgency, or if you know them, tell the parents. Give them the chance to help their child.</p>
and eventually you figure it out. </p>