That’s common in Asia too @ChoatieMom, particularly at buffet or cook at the table places, 90 minute limit.
@Gourmetmom …no, one is to never touch a plate or dish. That is pure etiquette form. Above I mentioned my pet peeve was being asked by the waiter to hand the dirty plate to him. Another person mentioned another…the waiter handing me my plate. Saying all that, I do move my dirty plates to another side if there is no one there, and if my companion is finished also.
I have traveled through Asia (HKG, Japan, Thailand, China). I don’t remember having time limit when dining and my plates were cleared, even at local restaurants (not western style restaurants). The only place I felt rushed was at Ding Tai Fung in Taipei. Is the tray thing more of a Japanese thing?
Wow, I would never give so much thought to something like this - I just do what feels natural at the table! I just stacked some dishes this weekend at an Indian restaurant we like to frequent.
We don’t dine “fancy” - more casual but not fast food - but really, from my side - I don’t mind passing a plate, being passed a plate,etc. - this kind of stuff just doesn’t enter my mind!
I rarely would stack plates unless use of the table demanded it and there was a gap in service. This happens occasionally at a busy tapas place. While I am flexible about many aspects of restaurant service, clearing plates while anyone at the table is still eating seems awkward at best and at a nicer restaurant, it is a pet peeve. It draws attention to pacing, can make the ones still eating feel rushed and makes for multiple interruptions in the conversation. Sometimes I get the impression that wait staff are hovering waiting for a fork to go down so they can rush over and clear. Not sure if they are under pressure to look busy /keep clearing , trying to make the final pass go faster or something else. Awkwardly passing plates over heads when tables are don’t allow for waiter access is a tough one; I am happy to make their job easier, yet wish the tables were better arranged to avoid the reach, which also increases the possibility of spills.
As to not receiving the check until asked, in many countries, this is considered a courtesy, so no one feels pressured to wrap it up.
I never experienced anything odd involving a tray or time limit in South Korea or Japan. What country has those customs?
Exactly. I never even think about it, I do what seems comfortable and desired. Honestly, all I want is a good meal and a pleasant environment. I wasn’t a picky waitress with any sort of “method”, I just wanted to please my customers at a very busy restaurant…which to me meant be friendly but not familiar, be responsive, anticipate their needs, bring the food out when it’s hot and don’t make them wait for anything they might desire.
When we were in London nearly every restaurant told us upon making the reservation or showing up at the reception how long we had to spend at the table. We can seat you, but you need to be finished by 9pm, etc. I was wondering, okay, what happens if I’m not?
Now why on earth can’t we have those credit card things like they have in Europe where they run your check right there? I hate handing over a cc to a waiter to be brought away somewhere to be run, it makes so much more sense to do it right at the table.
Agree on the credit card thing. Much safer and efficient. And its technology that has been around at least 10 yrs.
I don’t mind the practice of reserving a table for a set period of time. At least they tell you upfront and I assume time your service to enable that timeframe. Sure beats feeling like you are rushed - that seems a tad passive-aggressive. 
If you’ve got the table booked for 9PM, just tell me and I can agree to stay or not based on that info. I value transparency.
I’ve never experienced that, ever. Seems strange. On the other hand, I have made reservations before, only to get to the restaurant on time and be told, “I’m sorry, we can’t seat you yet. For some reason, people really seem to be lingering.” That’s also frustrating.
Being given a timeframe to eat is pretty similar to restaurants that have seatings several times each night. I’ve seen restaurants do 5, 7, 9PM seatings.
Plus, for restaurants in countries where waiters are paid a living wage, it is even more important that a restaurant guarantee they use their tables wisely to bring in a certain amount of revenue each night. They need to pay those wages. In the US, where the minimum for tipped employees is only $2.13!!, the restaurant passes that share of the risk onto its employees. No business, no tips, no income.
We have been asked a few times if we would be done with dinner by a specific time (generally after60, 90 or 120 minutes, especially if we were making reservations on the nite we wanted to eat or close to that nite. As we and especially dad are fast eaters, we tend not to linger and never have a problem leaving well before the next guests arrive.
@NorthernMom61 , which country do you live in Asia? I have traveled extensively in Asia and have never had a tray handed to me in a restaurant.
I do not stack dishes in restaurants and I think it’s poor form when servers do that. One of my pet peeves is guests throwing their paper napkins on the plates when finished (at my home or in restaurants) it really bothers my aesthetics. I was never taught to do this.
I’ve had set meals on trays many times in Japan and China. It comes on a tray with little individual dishes for each item, including a separate bowl for rice, etc. It’s quite common. I think it’s mostly been in the local-type restaurants, not as often in ones that cater to tourists.
Isn’t the whole bento box thing a meal on a tray?
As a former waiter and busboy, when dining out I sometimes find myself stacking one or two dishes out of habit and helpfulness. In a nice restaurant I let the waitstaff do their job.
Isn’t this part of the service performed in order to earn the tip?
Goodness no. When you stack dishes the bottoms of each dish will get dirt on it from the dish below it in the stack.
No.
I think we all picture different settings with this question.
If I am in a fine dining establishment, I wouldn’t stack nor would I expect to HAVE TO stack (or deal with plates in any way).
I generally eat in casual, informal restaurants though, and there things are different. In our local diner I have to bring the check to the register rather than have the server take it, in a local buffet I have to get my own plate and fill it, our BBQ spot has me order at a counter then sit with a number (they bring the food out) and clear my own table when done.
It just depends on the restaurant.