Sinner's Alley Happy Hour (Part 1)

Parent Cafe
1021

<p>Welcome back, crash! </p>

<p>curmudgeon, RPG = Role-Playing Game. It’s a fact of life for most of us with teenage boys at home.</p>

<p>And carolyn, that is The. Most. Bizarre. story I’ve read here yet. Bar none. She wins, hands down.</p>

<p>My mother-in-law never really got the idea of what to give grandkids for gifts, or the fact that they grow up eventually. (Out of 6 kids in our generation, my H and I are the only ones who ever had any kids, so she hasn’t had much practice, I guess.) She was still sending kiddie coloring books and 29-cent crayons to my over-6’-tall sons at age 14 for Christmas. Last year she gave them each a knit snow cap: we live in CA. She always gives them each a card saying they’re being remembered at a Mass somewhere, and while they’re not religious boys, they know this means a lot to their Granny, and they’re quite gracious boys. They know she means well, and they always thank her kindly, then give the coloring books to Toys For Tots.</p>

1022

<p>One year my grandmother gave my sister a shower caddy, my brother a notepad of piano-shaped paper, and me an original George Jensen gold bracelet.</p>

<p>The funny thing was she had no concept that these gifts were not equal.</p>

<p>I felt kind of bad but I kept the bracelet.</p>

<p>For Grandmama, as she was known, I’ll toast her with some watery ginger ale and some unknown secret alcohol.</p>

1023

<p>Howdy all. I raise my coffee cup this early a.m. to grandma. Best grandma presents that are still in use…crocheted hangers. I packed away oddles this summer when packing up my parents house. A few made it to my suitcase. But when I was ten, my sis and I would giggle, giggle, giggle over grandma’s presents.</p>

1024

<p>Carolyn - did your mother-in-law work in a school cafeteria? I think they do the same thing with their peas.</p>

<p>Curmudgeon - RPGs=Dungeons&Dragons, etc. Son is barely comprehensible when he is playing. He’s also into miniatures (Warhammer). My favorite moment - “Mom, a piece fell off my soldier; I need a new Whip of Agony.” Or what could possibly top D&D’s “Book of Vile Darkness”. Sometimes it’s better when I don’t understand.</p>

1025

<p>LOL! fireflyscout, I think that should be our Sinner’s Alley battle cry: “Bring me the Whip of Agony!” (Or is that what we use on ourselves when our young’uns aren’t packing for college fast enough? (Or alternately, when they’re packing a bit too fast and with too much zest for our sensitive parental-transition selves…) )</p>

1026

<p>OK. If we are descending into RPG territory, which will be wholly alien to the parents of girls I imagine, let’s all pick a role from Words of Warcraft. I will have to get S to give us the choices when he wakes up from the sleep known only to those attempting to grow 12 inches in 18 months.</p>

<p>As a teaser, I believe gnomes, warlocks, dwarves, warriors…and others are involved.</p>

1027

<p>We clearly have twin sons of different mothers, Alu. Once mine wakes up, I’ll weigh in with his preferred choice. I think the most recent one was some sort of un-dead wizard.</p>

<p>(PS: I’m sure it’s a typo, but it’s World of Warcraft, of course.)</p>

1028

<p>Another reason I’m pleased to have a daughter.</p>

<p>Hmmm. Let’s think that through. . We have a constant risk of pregnancy. Y’all have weird@#$ RPG’s. Seems pretty fair to me.</p>

1029

<p>curmudge - I have just begun congratulating myself that S is about to fly the nest having never been responsible for anyone’s succumbing to your “constant risk of pregancy.” I do believe I have the weird@#$ RPG’s to thank for that, in large part. :wink: Quite a safe way to pass the wee hours, it turns out. :slight_smile: :)</p>

1030

<p>I have two (count 'em) teenage daughters. I was reading the thread about the helicopter dad bringing homemade food to his college daughter and the University president threatening “no one’s going to want to date her” thinking “how often do I need to bring the food again?”</p>

1031

<p>Moot - yes, it could have been a dumb mom error, but it was a typo. Worlds of Warcraft. And I have the roles.</p>

<p>You can be of the following races: Human, Gnome, Dwarf, Night Elf, Orc, ■■■■■, Tauren, Undead. And then you have a class on top of the that: Priest, Mage, Paladin, Warrior, Warlock, Rogue, Shaman, Hunter, Druid.</p>

<p>So for example, I might decide to play the game as a Mage Night Elf. Mootmom might be a Hunter Druid. Curmudgeon might be a Rogue Orc. Etc etc etc. S has spent weeks just reading about the game and trying to decide what role to play. He has started several times, only to quit and change roles. He says he knows too much about the game now to actually play it…Reminds me of the origami books. By the end of his obsession he had ceased to fold. Would just read the 39th book of his collection and mutter to himself about the folds…</p>

1032

<p>One of these days I’ll have to do an inventory of son’s collection of multi-sided dice. He and his two best friends have what we parents call “the library” - one parent donated a rolling suitcase for the library so they could lug it from house to house. It has been evident for some time they will simply have to go to college together because splitting the shared items will be way too difficult.</p>

1033

<p>Mstee-- a TOOTHBRUSH?! Hahahahah! :smiley: I can’t believe it! A toothbrush isn’t exactly what comes to mind when I think of a gift that the whole family can enjoy. I won’t even share a bathroom with my son, much less anything having to do with his toothbrush. ::eew:: </p>

<p>I googled “family Christmas gift,” yesterday, and came up with 1.) personalized stockings; 2.) 5" tall Jesus, Joseph & Mary nativity sets; and 3.) family tree platters, I guess, for serving turkey while doing geneology research. Electric toothbrush was not on the list. </p>

<p>Carolyn-- LOL on the peas!! Yes, she IS the Queen of Leftovers. What a special way to make Thanksgivings memorable…“Say, these peas look familiar. Didn’t we have them back in 1982?” Do people tend to drink a lot at these family gatherings? :)</p>

<p>So, on these RPG’s…do players make long, weird@!#%! lists of weapons and equipment, along with notes about other players named Evil Dungeon Lord? I hope so… ;)</p>

1034

<p>Hey I have three girls who host an RPG site. But its not so much D&D as a Hogwarts take-off. No list of wierd weapons, but lots of talk about upcoming social events – like the “Miss Frogrot Contest” or the Spring Formal. They have like 1000 registered users, so it must fill some need.
So yeah, girls can RPG too!</p>

1035

<p>So, I’m cleaning out the garage a few days ago, and I find a notepad with my son’s handwriting. Should I read? Should I ignore? It’s unlike my S to make organized lists, so okay, one little peak.</p>

<p>Each page has a name at the top…Tom somebody, Jean somebody, Mickey somebody, Rob, Mark, Robert, and Wilhelm. They each have a nickname of some sort, which make no sense to me, except for the guy named, Nosferatu (the original Dracula), and the one called, Dwarf Adept. My parent brain filters the information…Hmm, I’ve never met any of his friends named Nosferatu or Dwarf Adept, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have friends with those names. </p>

<p>Each guy has a list of “Physical,” “Social,” and “Mental” characteristics, along with a detailed list of his “Abilities,” his “Merits,” and his “Flaws.” At the bottom, a list of “Equipment.” I start at the top of the page with Tom’s physical description. He’s ferocious, stalwart, and agile, times 2. He’s socially charming, gorgeous, intimidating, and commanding, times 2. Mentally, this guy is determined, disciplined, and alert, times 2. So far, I’m thinking that I like Tom. </p>

<p>Next category: Abilities…Firearms, times 2, plus “gun mojo.” Also, under the Abilities category: leadership; kindred lore; subterfuge; chemistry, times 2; and crafts-drugmaking, times 2. </p>

<p>Under the category of Flaws, Tom has bad eyesight, color blindness, and an addiction to mescaline. Ah, that would explain the chemistry and drugmaking skills… :wink: Under, Equipment, we have a tape recorder; 2 pistols and ammo; 2 flare guns and flares; 3 stakes (in case he runs into Nosferatu, I presume); a semi-automatic shotgun and ammo; a syringe; and 10 grams of cystallized mescaline.</p>

<p>Jean is no better off. His flaws are bad eyesight, a speech impediment, an addiction to alcohol, and an “eerie presence.” His equipment includes a nice suit, a notebook, and a road flare. I’ll bet Jean works in Human Resources. Next to Brujah Lore and Tremere Lore, Jean is competent in etiquette, Linguistics, and Art/History, times 2. </p>

<p>Alrighty, then. This must be someone else’s handwriting. In the immortal words of Shultzie from Hogan’s Heroes, I see nothing. I know nothing! Hand me that broom. :)</p>

1036

<p>Sounds like some characters out of “The World of Warcraft” game.</p>

1037

<p>I asked son about this topic - he prefers Final Fantasy XI to WoW, D&D over both. He said he’d classify me as a “white mage” who has superior healing abilities. Awwwww - maybe I won’t go after him with the Whip of Agony after all.</p>

1038

<p>That is so cute. I will ask S tonight what he would say I was. Maybe the answer will be as good as the valentine with his chubby little face in the center was from kindergarten. The chubby little face, BTW, that a large-boned creature with a big jaw and a deep voice seems to have devoured.</p>

<p>Who are you oh Tauren Hunter, and what did you do with my sweet baby!</p>

<p><em>cried the mother</em></p>

1039

<p>This is a little different than the valentine. Serves me right, looking for sentiment. He was clear I would be a warrior. But when pressed to go further, he couldn’t decide. When I said pick anything, he said I was a warrior dwarf.</p>

<p>A warrior dwarf. I am not exceptionally short, BTW.</p>

1040

<p>Younger S informed me tonight that I am definitely a female Night Elf Priest. He mentioned the healing aspect and that I was more likely to lay back cunningly, hence the Night Elf race which is noted for calmness.</p>

<p>Or something like that. I wonder if he was trying to humor me.</p>