Sinner's Alley Happy Hour (Part 1)

Parent Cafe
1041

<p>Name: SBmom</p>

<p>Physical: darn good swimmer, agile, plumpish, tall, good serve x2
Social: Loves cocktail parties, laughs loudly/frequently, bossy, poetic, loyal friend x2
Mental: clever, determined, comedic, diabolical, suspicious, analytical x2
Abilities: deconstructs poetry, cooks mexican food, tweezes tiny splinters, speaks French, cartography, cat mojo, laundress x2
Flaws: near & far sighted, snide, swears too much, lazy x2
Equipment: self-tanning lotion, dental floss, sharp pencils, library card, Visa x2</p>

<p>Do I stand a chance at this game??!!</p>

1042

<p>:D Hahahahaha, SBmom! </p>

<p>Physical: Spins around on barstools; can pour gin from really high up </p>

<p>Social: Talks on the phone; must pet puppies; relates to 3-year olds better than adults</p>

<p>Mental: Suprisingly sharp retention of dog names, but can’t remember people names</p>

<p>Abilities: Tweezes eyebrows; odd comprehension of toilets and other types of plumbing; dead on aim when pi$$ed off</p>

<p>Flaws: Thinks that safety glasses look cool; refers to foot wear as “thongs”</p>

<p>Equipment: Expandable underpants; secret collection of Little Kiddles; homemade Next Gen Captain’s uniform; personalized, autographed picture of Marta Kristen, aka ‘Judy Robinson’ from the original Lost in Space :)</p>

1043

<p>Dang Carolyn, I just can’t stop thinking about those peas . . .</p>

1044

<p>Reporting in on D’s roommate-- she is a winner! Smart, charming, funny, & mellow! Came out to visit, stayed the night, nice leisurely opportunity to hang out. We really liked this kid-- & so did our D. This will make driving away quite a bit easier. </p>

<p>It was eerie, the similarities between the two of them (really odd seperated-at-birth stuff) given the fact that their school matches people up pretty haphazardly.</p>

<p>LUCKY. Yep, feeling really lucky. :)</p>

<p>So I’ll take a scratcher with that cosmo.</p>

1045

<p>Sounds like she’s going to have a great year, SB. :)</p>

1046

<p>Today is the LAST first day of school for us! S was grumpy because his summer is over, but H & I were stupidly gleeful…and, a little verklempt. </p>

<p>S looked good walking down the driveway. There he was, the Kindergartener, all grown up. And, this was the last time we’d be the parents of a kid on the first day of school. Oh jeez, I think I just felt a heartstring twitch! Now, that is something I didn’t expect. ;)</p>

<p>On the one hand, I can’t stop thinking of Alice Cooper’s lyrics from SCHOOL’S OUT…</p>

<p>No more pencils - No more books - No more teacher’s dirty looks;
Well, we got no class - And, we got no principles;
And, we got no innocence - We can’t even think of a word that rhymes! School’s out, for-ever!</p>

<p>Not quite, but I have to say that I am definitely tired of all the high school bullsh**. I’m tired of teachers who are willing to lower a kid’s grade if he is not in his seat by the time the bell rings. I’m tired of b/s flyers from the school telling me to get one more form in on time, and then, extending the deadline for all of the slackers who didn’t get theirs in. I’m tired of seeing girls arrive for school in tank tops and eye-popping, pushup bras, then, getting progress reports indicating that my son can’t concentrate on academics. There’s no one to blame, and it’s just…high school.</p>

<p>On the other hand, it seems like a year of celebrations, and I don’t want to miss any of it. Finally, after 21 years of parenting, we can let go of the handlebars and enjoy the ride! :)</p>

1047

<p>

</p>

<p>Don’t sing that song too much in front of son. He may take it as an invitation to come hang with us. </p>

<p>Curmie, a Long Island Iced tea and can I get a swizzle straw?</p>

<p>Slugg, forget about letting go of the handle bars, I think you should get a convertible and ride with the top down. Throw on your shades and let your hair fly in the wind. Gosh, I’ve cut my hair so short, I would have to get a wig in order to see hair flying in the wind.</p>

1048

<p>Curm, a Tom Collins for me, with a dolphin swizzle. Even though school has started, it still feels like summer around here. Sybbie, I decided to liberate myself from the beauty salon racket, and I’m growing it out, Hula-style. In the spirit of Madame Pele, I’m going to let it :::flow. Now, all we have to do is find somebody with a convertible! :slight_smile: </p>

<p>Just curious, SBmom. Where is your D starting college this year?</p>

<p>Hey, I think I just saw Dawg, the Bounty Hunter, pull up…</p>

1049

<p>slugg , I have a jeep without a top, or as we call it, a Texas convertible.It’ll muss your hair something awful (picture sixties “ratting your hair”), will that do?</p>

1050

<p>Keeping the school quiet due to ease of ID’ing D… Just in case weirdos care…</p>

1051

<p>Hey, where is every one? I know I lurk in the back corner, listening to ya’ll, like I did when I was in my big sisters’ room and did not want to be noticed and kicked out, but you guys gotta keep drinking and posting. Some of our kids have been dropped off, some are still thinking about maybe starting to pack, some have weeks to go, let’s keep this record-setting thread alive.</p>

<p>There has got to be something lively worth discussing. We’ve covered eyesight and UTCs, what’s next, incontinence? :p</p>

1052

<p>Curm, the Texas convertible sounds perfect! I’ll just wear a scarf over my head, real lady-like tied under my chin. That and a pair of white, cat-eye sunglasses ought to do it. Woot! </p>

<p>SBmom, but, of course. Sluggs are generally discreet, except when we’re guzzling beer and eating choc chip cookies. :)</p>

<p>TGIF Words of Wisdom: Grandchildren are your reward for not killing your kids! :smiley: </p>

<p>A complete stranger came up to me today and offered the advice above, as if I have, “F— TEENAGERS,” stamped in capital letters across my forehead for all to see. The triple bags under my eyes must have tipped her off. Maybe, I was being secretly taped for a reality show called, Parents (of High School Seniors) Who Look Like Hell and Want to Scarf Their Kid’s Leftover Vicodin. Too narrow an audience? I think not. </p>

<p>Yesterday, I was thinking that the aliens who abducted my S a few years ago had returned him in his original form, now a 17.9-y/o version of that adorable, loving child who used to run up and practically knock me over with his hugs. I got ahead of myself. </p>

<p>Last night, from the far, distant background amidst rapid fire, I could hear H saying something about choosing my battles. Really?! No one’s EVER TOLD ME THAT BEFORE!! It was a battle over space, control, and ownership, a clash of the Titans, Mother against Son. Really, it wasn’t so bad compared to the dad we saw a couple of weeks ago who pulled his pickup truck over to the side of the road; got out and opened the passenger door; dragged a very large linebacker onto the sidewalk; and then, proceeded to pound his shoulder pads, as if to finally get his point across. The dad had reached his limit, and while other drivers passed by gawking in disbelief, H & I understood the fundamentals of the disagreement. Whatever it was, we understood what could drive a parent to the edge of Crazyville. </p>

<p>In my efforts this week to clean out the garage, I tried to give away S’s Duplo’s. He said that I should pay him for everything that I steal that belongs to him. I told him fine, then he could give the money right back to me as rent. I pointed out to him that Duplo’s are made for preschoolers, and it was time to let some other 3-year old enjoy them. It quickly degenerated into his accusation that I’m a Nazi and my accusation that he has turned into a junior version of my dad, which is the supreme insult around here. Everyone knows that ol’ grandad is a real SOB. ;)</p>

<p>So, we got through it unscathed and slightly exhausted. I’m not sure what we finally agreed on. At least, we were civil about it. Yup, this too shall pass…I’ll have a James Bond martini, shaken not stirred, and tonight, I’m watching that Southpark movie on DVD. :)</p>

1053

<p>Slugg:</p>

<p>My heartfel sympathy.
Last fall, as he was applying to colleges, S did agree that his legos, duplos and K’nex should go to others, so I made several big boxes and advertised for afterschool programs in the district to come and get them.
I waited until S was at camp to empty his rock collection into a corner of the garden. He has not noticed its absence. :slight_smile:
Recently, we were at a nature center; an 8-year old was eying the rocks and, of course, wanted to buysome for his own collection. I told the mom she had quite a few more years of rock buying ahead of her. I wasn’t very popular.</p>

1054

<p>OK, I’ve done my duty. Except for the clothes and computer monitor which will be properly stowed at the last minute tonight, he’s packed. And I’ve created my commemorative weblog entry about this passage. I’d like to think I’m out of w i s t f u l tears but I suspect the trickle will start again tonight at the final sushi dinner, at the counter with Andy our favorite sushi chef.</p>

<p>We spend 18 years preparing them for this leave-taking. But no one spends time preparing <em>us</em> for it. Tomorrow morning I wave him onto the plane and into his life. My heart is bursting for this young man I am launching into the world.</p>

<p>I think it’s called love.</p>

1055

<p>My mom kept nothing of my childhood. She even threw away all of my Beatles stuff! So I’ve gone the other way and have kept most of their toys and all of their books. The attic is full of plastic boxes full of Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, Little People and all their stuff (the farm, the playground, the garage, the looney bin - oh wait, that’s for me), wooden train set, wooden blocks, puzzles, Legos, Batman, and who knows what else. The Star Wars boxes are still in the house. My boys keep trying to get me to give it all away but I refuse. </p>

<p>We’re shipping most of his clothes to school becaue he is refusing to take a big suitcase on the plane and the T. </p>

<p>Slugg, I don’t have a convertible, but I could ride you around on my bike real fast!</p>

1056

<p>

slugg - I like you better when it’s crossed under the chin and tied at back of neck - Audrey Hepburn-style. Goes better with the cat’seye sunglasses, too. :D</p>

1057

<p>Just no Isadora Duncan scarf action, right?</p>

1058

<p>Jmmom,</p>

<p>I hope that everything is okay with your son. Now, you have to turn around and fly him right back home because of the hurricane in N.O… Wishing him a safe trip back.</p>

1059

<p>I was wondering about jmmom’s S and all our Tulane-ites. I see on their website that the school and residence halls are closed as of yesterday and will reopen on Wed., and they’re busing students without other means of evacuation to Jackson State University in MS. What a difficult beginning to their school career… but to try to find a silver lining, this may bring them together rapidly as a class afterwards.</p>

<p>We’re thinking of all of you and hoping everyone stays safe.</p>

1060

<p>Lol, jmmom. :slight_smile: I was picturing Shirley MacLaine driving along the beach with Jack Nicholson in Terms of Endearment, but you’re right. Audrey Hepburn set the bar for scarf fashion. </p>

<p>I kept the Capsellas, the Brios, and the vast collection of Playmobil islands and pirate ships. All of the Pikachu stuff got packed up, and the Star Wars ships and figures are now enshrined in a cupboard. Even the hat collection (i.e. fireman, cowboy, magician’s turban, train conductor, etc.) made the cut. I thought I was being pretty generous, in between cardiac arythmia spells in the 90 degree heat in the garage for a week straight. So, the Duplos were brought in from the driveway, and they are now perched on top of the fridge in the garage, ready to drop on someone’s head during an earthquake. The headline will read, Mother Knocked Even More Senseless By Avalanche of Duplos. </p>

<p>The significance of packing up a kid’s stuff when they head off to college is HUGE. In my task-oriented way of looking at things, I thought it was about reorganizing stuff. But, it is about reorganizing childhood memories, the things that bring us back to ages of boundless imagination. It’s a Gail Sheehy moment for a parent. For some of us, it is a step toward claiming a fully fledged adulthood. H & I find ourselves going out for dinner more often, to restaurants that don’t have stroller parking and baby seats stacked up at the front door. For others, there is a deep and inconsolable sense of loss.</p>

<p>Last week, I watched a friend of mine dissolve into a pool of grief when she found a copy of, The Little Engine That Could, underneath her son’s bed. Both of her sons are now off to college, and she was cleaning out one bedroom to use as a guest room. Being the supportive friend that I am, I told her that all of her crying was giving me some hope that I would miss my own son one of these days…As I spoke, he was pulling up a pastel, wool rug from the entry to use as a pad for his band’s drummer. Hard to console a friend over having both of her kids out of the house when all I could think about was strangling mine with one of his guitar cables! Well, I tried.</p>

<p>Aargh, give me a Corona with a slice of lime in the top. I want my rug back. ;)</p>