<p>I have a great relationship with my children, but would only allow them to sleep in the same room with a girlfriend at home if the couple were serious and practically engaged as some people have mentioned. Most college kids go through more than one girlfriend in college. </p>
<p>I don’t believe in condoning or pushing things along too fast and I never could understand the people who want to make it like the girlfriend is already a member of the family before that is going to happen. </p>
<p>It’s not because of “morality” that I feel this way, but more because especially for a career minded young man it’s usually far too soon to be thinking of marriage anyway. I know lots of you will disagree, but I really think that more life experiences and getting to know and date many people is healthier in the long run. So far as the sleeping together part, that can happen on the couple’s own time.</p>
<p>“If my kid were gay, therefore, I wouldn’t worry about single-sex overnights either. I also wouldn’t want her/him sleeping with his/her lover in his/her room at home either.”</p>
<p>I feel the same way. If they were married (in the states that allow that) or had the kind of committed relationship that one gets by taking vows or doing something similar, that would be different. Still, regardless of my kids’ gender preferences, I hope that they wait until they have at least graduated from college or found stable employment that can support them before getting married (or doing whatever is the equivalent for gay couples).</p>
<p>Marriage is for the purpose of procreation. I tell that to my 80-year-old mom and my stepdad when they come to visit, but they just don’t get it. </p>
<p>Oh, well. What they do on the cruise boat is their own business, I guess. ;)</p>
<p>I’m not much of a sleepover fan, in general. I put up with them, but they are a rarer occurrance in our house. And no co-ed sleepovers in high school, even though kids are doing them. Nope.</p>
<p>Sorry–inspired by the Canadian music thread. </p>
<p>There’s definitely an ick factor when we contemplate our kids’ sexuality. Just as there is when and if they contemplate our own. In our house, with our kid, it just kind of went away after a few years of her being on her own. No, I would not put up with her bringing a new boyfriend to the house and shacking up in her room. But at a certain point, with someone who is well known to us, and who has been her faithful and loving male companion for a period of years, it really did become possible to sit at the kitchen table and have breakfast with them without wondering if they were boinking last night—just as it is possible for them to do with regard to me and my husband, as well, hopefully.</p>
<p>I’m just curious: how many posts here are theoretical, and how many have actually dealt with the issue, with their kids actually wanting to bring the significant other home for the night?</p>
<p>Very interesting question, calmom. I’m quite sure neither my hs or college-age son would ever dream of even entertaining the idea of having their gfs sleep in their beds at home overnight (or during the day). They know that comes, in their parents’ home, only with marriage. (Haven’t experienced driver’s scenario, so don’t know how I would feel with that as of yet.)</p>
<p>Not theoretical, here. (but beyond college age, so maybe we don 't count.)</p>
<p>Driver, that may have been my favorite show of all time. Ever. </p>
<p>You’re starting to scare me.</p>
<p>BTW, when that show came out, we all agreed that Bruce Willis was my BIL’s identical twin–and he played his character, exactly, too. I still can’t get over it when I see it. They even balded and went Republican at the same time. I tell you, it’s eerie.</p>
<p>Someone in the thread said something like, “how serious can they be after a year of college?” Another person basically suggested that all relationships in school are just throwaway flings.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that many people found their spouses in school as well. The person I’ll marry I’ve been dating since high school. Don’t pass judgement on a relationship so quickly, lest you reconsider your own.</p>
<p>neverborn, please don’t take things personally…and I would certainly appreciate a little courtesy…I didn’t go back and search out your threads…and I certainly wouldn’t presume to know anything about yourself or your mother for goodness sake. What I was saying is that each of us has his own parenting style and to say that a parent who does not want BF/GF to share a bedroom is a control freak might be a stretch…everyone parents in their own way…</p>
<p>I don’t have any experience with the SO issue (no luck in the BF department :rolleyes:). However, I have participated in a couple of same-sex sleepovers dating back to HS…we were just really good friends though (plus he was gay). I just slept in the guest room…</p>
<p>I think I would feel awkward bringing a BF home and letting him sleep in the same room as me…not even taking into account what my parents would think.</p>
They know that comes, in their parents’ home, only with marriage. (Haven’t experienced driver’s scenario, so don’t know how I would feel with that as of yet.)</p>