<p>I don’t know much about them, but it is a school that has taken a chance of kids who have had non-traditional issues and that has people into good/great schools, including ivies. They sent our S a lot of material when he was in HS.</p>
<p>OP- with great humility and respect… the kind of mental health issues you have alluded to are not of the “just get over it” type. I suggest you put the academic and college issues on the back burner temporarily and find a medical resource which will help you get well.</p>
<p>It might be worth sitting down with your Aunt and laying your cards on the line. To wit- I need a safe place to live for the next year. I want to be mature about dealing with my issues. I can’t do that if I’m worried about being homeless. I will get a part time job to help with expenses and will be pursuing my education in some as yet undefined manner. I have credits to make up if I’m to graduate from HS; I could do a GED and start CC; I could do an online course, I haven’t quite yet figured that part out. But I will be living with you and making a good faith effort to “get on” with my life and I need your support in order to do that. Will you help me???</p>
<p>I would find it hard to say no to a cousin, niece, or even a distant relative who needed a safe place to live, access to a competent therapist, and who was as determined as you to resolve her issues. Especially if there were 9 other siblings in the picture. Maybe you could give your aunt a try?</p>
<p>@HImom: I’m female, hence my name Alexandra. Do you know if I can live on campus under 18?</p>
<p>@blossom: Exactly my point. I don’t think I can just “toughen up” or “get over it” as TwistedxKiss said and as my family thinks one can. Depression, eating disorders, abuse, trauma- they are things I deal with every waking second and I know I’m not the only one who understands this.
Unfortunately, the majority of my family is very privileged (we are the “poor” branch), and I’m talking 300K+ per year. I wish they would consider me as a person and not as a possible expense- I’m a very motivated person, and I’ve been doing everything I can to get my life on track, but there are so many things standing in my way and I’m only one person. I never ever sit around, moping and complaining. I never even talk about these things. Maybe its because I’ve been trained to hide everything, so if it seems like I’m whining and complaining here, I really don’t mean to impart with that impression. I’m willing to do anything, but most people are willing to do nothing.</p>
<p>I think my current plan is to move into my aunt’s house and try to figure out school from there. I wanted to attend a program near her house, the SDHS IS program, but it looks like they aren’t accepting new students. Due to budget cuts, a lot of these school offices are closed and I won’t even be able to reach them until the first day of school.</p>
<p>Alexandra, good plan. Just having some stability in your living situation will help enormously.</p>
<p>You may find your aunt more empathetic to your situation than you believe once you move in with her. She may be leery of taking on responsibility for your mom and all the siblings and so her “my way or the highway” stance on your education may just be her way to protect herself from being responsible for 10 family members who are in trouble (that’s a lot to deal with). But given your maturity level, she may have already decided to support whatever decisions you make as long as they are well thought out and not ridiculously impulsive.</p>
<p>And who knows… she may even have some familiarity with depression. Or have a co-worker with an eating disorder. Or a boss who has been abused. You never know when a family member is predisposed to be more supportive and sympathetic than you think.</p>
<p>Good luck to you. This sounds like a great first step.</p>
<p>@blossom: She would actually only be taking me in, as my family is still all living together. I never completed the charges because I couldn’t fathom ripping my family apart. That said, I’m sure she’ll end up helping me enormously in many ways. My school situation remains a mess, and one thing she would never budge on is the going to a traditional public school thing.</p>
<p>My options down there are two different schools (ranging from terrible to pointless) that I can certainly attend, or possibly getting into the IS program (not likely due to space/time constraints). My old plan was to continue with an online school and concurrently take CC courses, but she doesn’t support that (possibly ideal) plan.</p>
<p>Oh, and she’s in the medical field. I think the reason she is taking me in is only to help with my academic issues, and will drop me like a hot potato if I even so much as bring up emotional or mental problems.</p>
<p>Alexandra, I’m so sorry you have to go through all this. Please know, that “patience is a virtue” is not just a saying. Sometimes we have to take all the compassion and patience and kindness and love that we would shower on a kitten and give them to ourselves. </p>
<p>Sometimes it’s an A plus thing just to take one breath at a time, one breath at a time. </p>
<p>My heart is with you, and you will be surprised as you continue to grow up that once you get through this, it will be one of your greatest sources of strength later in life. You might just be thankful for the challenge. You might be able to help others with their challenges - a great calling in life.</p>
<p>Is there any possibility that one of the high schools you would attend from your Aunt’s house would have a program that allows you to attend CC part time? Many high schools do allow this. Most schools have the staff show up for work about two weeks before classes begin. Might you be able to meet with the guidance staff at each possible school and discuss possibilities? I think those folks might be able to help you - starting with listening to your story of how your family was displaced and torn apart for a while and how since then you have been struggling.</p>
<p>There are many folks out there who would love to help you. Keep talking to folks and if one doesn’t help, find someone else. Keep trying until you find someone. Counselors at the CC’s. Even if you’re not interested in going there. Counselors at the local colleges. Counselors at the high schools. Even the yellow pages. Your opening line could be something like, “I’d like to meet with a counselor about the possibility of attending your school - I’m not sure what will work for me yet, and have some family issues to talk over, but I’d like to sit down with someone at your school and talk about possibilities.”</p>
<p>Keep us posted - you would be surprised to know how many ppl you have helped already by posting. </p>
<p>I’m imagining you as a finely tuned powerful sports car. Maybe you’re stuck at a complex intersection in a not so lovely area… which way to go? Well, perhaps it doesn’t matter much - you can take it slow and go in any direction. It’s frustrating to hold that engine back but it’s just going to be slow going for a while. That’s ok. Life has fast lanes and slow lanes, even for smart smart smart folks. Once you get out a ways you’ll find there’s a big big world out there with countless beautiful places and loving people other than family and then you can revvv that engine up and git a goin’. </p>
Due to California budget cuts, CC classes are now limited to one course per semester for the SDCCD.
Also due to cuts, the offices for these schools aren’t open until the first day of school for the IS program and the weeks before for the other one.
I wish I could turn back the clock…</p>
<p>Also, is there any possibility of me going into an early college program at this point? I’m worried about financial aid, obviously, but how much can I do without any help from my family?</p>
<p>I’m very sorry about Milton Hershey’s application age limit being 15. Also, thank you for explaining why CPS won’t work for you.</p>
<p>It sounds like you are concluding that the best possible plan for now appears to be to live with your aunt and make the best possible arrangement for schooling within what she is willing to allow. It seems to allows you a reasonable place to live, even though it will also apparently require being in classes that don’t suit you. </p>
<p>What about your emotional issues? You feel sure that your aunt won’t allow you to live with her if you mention mental or emotional issues to her? If that is how she feels, might there be other ways that you could work on those issues? </p>
<p>I am concerned about the emotional issues. The school may not be conducive to your best mental health. You’ve run away in the past. I worry that you may decide at an exceedingly stressful moment to run away again. And, were you to run away, you’d be reluctant to turn to CPS for help, for fear of the consequences for your family. </p>
<p>This scenario worries me. Thus, I am hoping that you can find ways to get help with the emotional issues. Perhaps this would be one resource or first step worth considering:</p>
<p>First of all, I want to tell you that your post is the kernel of a really outstanding college essay. Your strength of character, determination and seriousness of intent shine through a turbulent and destructive series of events that could have crushed you. I can tell by the clarity and intelligence of your writing that you have vast potential and deserve support and encouragement.</p>
<p>I agree with you completely that CC is not the route for you. You have high standards and dreams and you can best achieve them by trying to create a traditional High School success story for yourself. I understand you are in California and have the chance to live with your aunt and I earnestly hope that this will be a stable environment for you so that you can gain some much needed breathing space and start fresh.</p>
<p>I understand your worries about online course work. Have you looked into Stanford University’s EPGY (Education Program for Gifted Youth)? There are numerous online courses in Math and Science. They also have an online High School (although tuition might be a challenge). They do offer very generous financial aid. I think that a homeschool option, full or part time, could work well for you. </p>
<p>If you live near a regular UC campus or private college, I would recommend you consider taking a college level course while you are in High School. Select a subject that you are passionate about, excell at, and look at the college course listings on line. Spending time on a college campus and securing a letter of recommendation from a college professor will do a great deal to support your college application.</p>
<p>You are an extremely resourceful young woman. Keep on with what you are doing! I believe you will succeed.</p>
<p>That Mesa program has centers - if there’s one near you call 'em and have a chat. Do call a counselor somewhere - reach out today! You will be so glad you did.</p>
<p>Your Aunt is in the medical field and yet she won’t be supportive of your emotional and psychological issues? You may find her much more aware of your problems than you think.</p>
<p>If she is a nurse, physician, OT, Pharmacist, whatever, she is more than familiar with the consequences of ignoring an eating disorder or trying to sweep trauma/abuse/depression under the rug. Try to keep an open mind. Clinics and hospitals are filled with people whose mental health issues created physiological and physical disorders and you may find her to be a better ally than you think.</p>
<p>OP,
I am confused. Are you saying that if you live with your aunt, she will not permit you to get therapy? Have you discussed this with her explicitly? If she is willing to allow you to persue therapy, you should live with her. Your mental health is your first priority. If her condition is that you attend a traditional high school and get your diploma that way, then so be it. If you are the smart person that you say you are, you will accept her rules and do the best you can at the local high school. Once you complete high school and turn 18, you can live your life the way you want. CC is not a shameful place to attend. You can excel there and transfer to a 4 year college. Good luck to you!</p>
<p>@firsttimemom: Thanks for your time and help! I really appreciate it. Unfortunately, I don’t remotely fit the student demographic for these programs. I’m far beyond my grade level in coursework, not behind. As for CalGrants, they’ve been cut. @blossom: It isn’t that she isn’t knowledgable or understanding, its that I can’t live with her if those problems are brought up. Kind of don’t ask, don’t tell. If she becomes aware that they are still significant, she’ll kick me out. She’s a radiologist, by the way, and one of the top in her field. She’s had experience in her time with all sorts of people, and I’m sure if she had an open mind about it, she’d be able to help me. But she doesn’t. And she’s said it to me, clearly, and to my face.</p>
<p>@yorkyfan: Yes, I’ve discussed it with her explicitly. She may allow me to get therapy (which I’m hardly open to, by the way, due to the traumatic reactions it evokes), but she isn’t willing for it to become more than a side note, a non-issue.</p>
<p>@ADad: As ridiculous as this may seem, I’d rather kill myself than get “help”. I was stuck in a mental hospital for months, which- if you’ve ever been in one- you’ll note that they haven’t changed much since the 1800’s. People talk about “mental health reform”, but there has been little done in these places. Why? Well, there is absolutely NO WAY to report abuse and mistreatment, which is prevalent. Indeed, prevalent! Mental health laws isolate, rather than coddle, the patients in these places, giving their caretakers full exercise to do whatever they want to.
Then there are the clinics, generally staffed by mainly resident students looking to gain experience. Unless you don’t need a therapist to get therapy, or you find the needle in the haystack of therapists, or you just want medication, you probably won’t recieve help there. They are understaffed and overloaded, never have quite enough funding, and “can’t help you as much as we’d like to.”
Finally, there are private therapists. In my humble opinion, these are people that walked into the field with good intentions but no talent (of course, this is highly subjective). The few people that have a talent for behavorial and mental health are extraordiarily rare or rich enough not to need to practice anymore.</p>
<p>Right now, it seems I have little choice. I can’t stay home, and if I want to make anything out my life, I can’t run away either. I can try to make my aunt’s house work, and I think I will. There’s another school, Bard College at Simon’s Rock, that <em>could</em> be a good program for me. I’m thinking of applying there to expand my options.</p>
<p>Perhaps you would get more need-based aid if you consider enrolling at a Cal State campus (far from your family) and staying in the dorm. You’d probably have to take the GED first. My daughter’s college counselor says that the Cal States (and Cal Polys) are among the biggest bargains in higher education.</p>
<p>Another thought-- Perhaps you could move in with your Aunt and talk to her about your doing online high school through Indiana University online. The beauty of this is that you can do dual enrollment and take college classes at Indiana University–so that could meet your need as a gifted student. And your schedule would be somewhat flexible, so if you need to seek medical help, you won’t get behind in your classes. Then I think it would not be difficult for you to transfer in future to the college of your choice.</p>
<p>@stringkeymom: Thanks for all the brilliant ideas. I, too, think that independent study incorporated into participation with local schools and teams could be a much better route for me. Although the resources exist and I’m happy to use them, my aunt is very strict on her traditional high school route. Also, UCSD has no financial aid, so I’d be paying 500+ per credit, and the CCs have a one-course limit. I’m going to continue expoloring my options until I find something worthwhile.</p>
Do you know if I can live on campus under 18?</p>