<p>@mamatata: The CSUs are fantastic deals in higher education, and many of them have incredibly good programs. (Nursing/kinethesiology at CSUN, etc) My initial plan was to take online courses through Insight and dually enroll at community colleges; my aunt is entirely against this non-traditional route and therefore it won’t be an option for me. 
The IU program looks good, but it is practically identical to the public charter options available in California for free.</p>
<p>Also, if you do go to a traditional high school, you might still consider the UCCP for enrichment.</p>
<p>[Welcome</a> to UCCP](<a href=“http://www.uccp.org/index.php/home]Welcome”>http://www.uccp.org/index.php/home)</p>
<p>University of California College Prep offers online AP classes for free. But I think you must take them in conjunction with your high school.</p>
<p>Hi Alexandra, </p>
<p>I’m glad you found the Simon’s Rock (Bard) program - that could be a great match for you.</p>
<p>Also, might your Congressperson be able to help you? S/he might be aware of some other programs. Good luck! It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders in a tricky situation. </p>
<p>One more thing: you are not alone. The summer before senior year in high school is a very very stressful time. I hear you when you say, “if only I could turn back time.” If only we could have do overs!</p>
<p>Far from being “ridiculous”, your unwillingness to seek help from traditional mental health professionals seems quite understandable to me. Why would you go back to resources that, in your experience, seemed at best unhelpful? </p>
<p>I’m still wondering, though, about the emotional issues. Should you have a plan for addressing them? A plan especially for when you are “very very stressed”? Maybe your plan can’t or wouldn’t include traditional mental health professionals (perhaps unless you hear of and gain access to one of those very “few people that have a talent for behavioral and mental health”). Maybe your plan involves online research and forums (like when you came here, to the Parents Forum! 
Has it been helpful?), that youth hotline to have someone to talk to at any time if necessary (there is also 1-800-273-TALK), meditation, exercise, doing some therapy-related reading? Maybe your plan includes keeping your eyes and ears open for a mentor? </p>
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<p>You sound pretty settled on the plans with your aunt. Keep up the good work!</p>
<p>It sounds like your Aunt is in San Diego. Have you looked at the IB program at Mission Bay High School (if they still have it). Also there is High Tech High School which is different from a traditional school. Have you looked at the San Diego Unified Schools website to see what all the different high school options are in the district? You may find a school that could be a fit for you that would be more along the traditional lines your Aunt wants.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>I understand the dynamic with the aunt a little better now, thank you.</p>
<p>One suggestion- words make a lot of difference in situations like these. So you might start small-- girls with eating disorders frequently have dental problems once they start their recovery. So you could casually let your Aunt know that you’ve gone online and found a dental clinic that treats low income patients with no dental insurance (if in fact you can find one in your area… if there’s a dental school start there, they are usually good places.) Who can object to dental work?</p>
<p>Then you can ask the dentist if s/he has worked with a therapist who treats eating disorders; you could again casually mention to your Aunt that you’ve gotten a referral “for some more help”. No need to get specific. You don’t need an adults permission to get yourself help; clearly you don’t want to be in all out rebellion once you’re living with her, but a radiologist (even one in a bit of denial about some abuse/trauma/pathology in her extended family) is typically not “wired” to object to someone proactively seeking out appropriate professional help.</p>
<p>So you don’t need to talk about therapy. Or meds. Or intervention. Or talking to a Social Worker. But getting some of your physical needs taken care of (have you ever seen a nutritionist? a gynecologist? when’s the last time you saw your pediatrician) is a way to tap back into some adult professionals who can help you without setting off bells with your aunt. </p>
<p>I encourage you to keep an open mind longterm about therapy/therapists. I know you’ve been jerked around by some incompetent or criminal lunatics. Be patient, there are good people out there.</p>
<p>@matamata: They only offer the first semester to students with no access in-school to the program, I’ll have to find some way to reach the second semester. Thanks so much!</p>
<p>@Hugcheck: Thank you so much for your support, it really helps so much. I think I’ll try contacting these people. The SRC rep (it’s incredible how quickly they reply!) mentioned he’d be in SoCal in October, I though maybe I could interview then and apply. I don’t know how likely it is that I’ll get a full ride (or close to it), so it may all be in vain, but I’m crossing my fingers!</p>
<p>@ADad: Oh, you guys are the BEST! I’m a little jaded when it comes to online communities, but this one seems to really have a purpose and it is quite incredible how many students have been changed by CC.
I certainly have tried different resources out there, and I can’t say that anything has really helped- as I’m sure you’ve gathered, I’ve pretty much given up. Now, I know I really shouldn’t seeing as I’m really…well, I’m not in the kiddie pool anymore, that’s for sure. I think I’m going to need to keep trying and it is really difficult when a huge part of me doesn’t even want to recover, but I’m definitely keeping myself aware of any new opportunities.</p>
<p>Oh, and the issue is largely not what I’m settled on but more what my parents are settled on. Unfortunately, I have no idea (still) whether or not I’m going to be in San Diego. I’m pretty sure (like 85%) that it’s going to happen, but I really can’t know. So its a stressful situation for me. When my parents come back from vacation I’ll find out.</p>
<p>@showmom858: There are some great schools in the SDUSD, but unfortunately none of them have any openings for the upcoming school year. There is a possibility that I’ll be able to weasel my way in to the SDHS IS, but thats unlikely. My first and foremost issue right now is going to be getting down there and having the school year started. Thanks for the tips, do you know of any schools outside of the SDUSD that might be of help?</p>
<p>@blossom: Because my dad is a teacher, he gets fantastic medical insurance (hospital programs are covered for the most part, but still left my parents in the hole). I’ve had various issues, so I’ve seen pretty much every doctor under the sun. Thankfully those resources are available (what would I do without them?).
It sounds like you’re pretty knowledgable about these things; part of me knows that if I don’t get help I could die, and part of me doesn’t care. These are really great suggestions and I think I’m going to talk to my aunt about medical care and whatnot to see what I can do (don’t ask/don’t tell type situation?).</p>
<p>I’m so glad that you are finding CC helpful! I do think that there a many knowledgeable, interested and helpful parents here. I’m especially glad that your previous experiences with online communities didn’t prevent you from trying, and getting good results, here. </p>
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<p>It’s hard to try when part of you doesn’t want to and another part (maybe the same part) points to the results, or lack thereof, from previous efforts. I’m really glad that you tried here! Maybe there are CC-type adults scattered here and there in your world. Blossom has good ideas for trying to find a few of them.</p>
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<p>I didn’t realize that your parents might yet veto the entire San Diego idea. It must be disconcerting and highly stressful to not know what you will be doing two weeks from now, with whom you’ll live, what city you’ll live in, where you’ll go to school. I’m sorry that you’re experiencing that stress now. How are you coping? What other outcome could there be besides your aunt in San Diego?</p>
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<p>Would the part that doesn’t care feel comfortable speaking to us about the not caring?</p>
<p>Alexandra, hugs to you. I predict that you will grow up to be a very talented, competent adult with much success in whatever you choose to do. All you need to do is get yourself through the next few years where you have so much potential but so little autonomy. I know it’s frustrating, but try to see yourself in a few years.</p>
<p>Now keep working on that plan to head in the right direction. I think you will start to feel a lot better about yourself with some intervention on the eating/depression. The rest of your life will still be there when you are ready to engage.</p>
<p>Give yourself a cyber kiss from all of us.</p>
<p>Adad
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<p>I agree. However, I do want to gently encourage you to open your mind up to professional help. When it comes to mental health professionals, you sometimes have to kiss a lot of frogs. There are exceptional people out there who could change your life for the better. Do not give up on the profession - keep looking until you find someone who is highly intelligent, intuitive, experienced with your age group, and a decent match for you personality-wise. </p>
<p>Guidance from such a person will make a world of difference in your life. With all you have been through, this will not be a two visit thing. Disordered eating, for example, is something that deserves professional monitoring throughout one’s life. Many extremely successful people have been in treatment for years. Stigma against taking care of oneself in such a way will be less prevalent where you are headed in life (to the world of highly educated and evolved people).</p>
<p>Two questions come to mind (hope I didn’t miss answers to these previously - I read through this thread quickly):</p>
<p>Has abuse of substances ever been a problem?</p>
<p>Was there an inference of sexual abuse in the family? If so, and if there are younger siblings, keeping the family together is less important than rescuing future victims.</p>
<p>I don’t know what part of San Diego you may be living in, but other good highschools are Torrey Pines and Canyon Crest Academy both in Carmel Valley area.</p>
<p>I hope the OP attends a school with a relatively low stress environment. A place like Torrey Pines is so not that place. Somewhere with a little less social pressure, that is a little more nurturing, would be better IMHO.</p>
<p>@ADad: My old plan of moving out and becoming emancipated would be my other healthy option. My more realistic, and much more unhealthy, option would be to stay at home. I’m not coping well at all- my anxiety levels are <em>very</em> high normally, so you can pretty much guess how it is right now (through the roof!).
Right now I’m talking to the SDHS IS program principal and coordinators. What strikes me as odd is that despite the lack of space in the program (“I will have someone touch base with you about the possibilities. Right now, we are full.”), the person he forwarded me to seems to be discussing my entry into the school. I’m not familiar with how the school works, so it might mean nothing.
And yes, I suppose in some ways I would be.</p>
<p>@blossom: Thanks for your support. :)</p>
<p>@spideygirl: Yes, for number one, and no for number two. Just physical/emotional/verbal. But outside of the family there was, and its really difficult for me to cope with. Oh, and I agree, a highly stressful environment probably won’t help me much.</p>
<p>@showmom858: I’ve had two cousins attend Torrey Pines (they live in the Del Mar area), but my aunt lives on the tip of Point Loma. It would probably be a little too far away, but <em>I’m</em> certainly not against looking into it.</p>
<p>FYI…Sometimes public schools can find space in these full programs when they fear that they will lose you completely (and the federal dollars you bring) if you don’t get what you want (assuming all of this is handled with a great deal of sugar on top).</p>