<p>Good luck to him! I think he’s brave. he’s very young. He has many years to make a career, but you are only young once.</p>
<p>Fullmom - thanks so much for the follow up posts this evening. You are a wonderful, loving mom. I love that you contacted the other young man who made a similar journey, which eventually put your son in touch with him. What a wonderful way to show you son your genuine desire to understand what he is doing. Your son has found a way to color outside the lines, and that’s a beautiful, liberating thing some people never learn. My very best wishes to both of you as he continues to explore his options and plans for the future.</p>
<p>I wonder if the “other young man” would put you in touch with his mother?</p>
<p>S2 is successfully working toward a 5 year masters in electrical engineering. Over spring break we were discussing summer internships and I get this response. “Mom, I have zero interest in working as an engineer - I just think the subject matter is interesting. I will work in engineering just long enough to save up the money needed to go to London or Milan to start working on my PhD in economics.” Wow - at least S2 is not looking to us for future funding.</p>
<p>OP - Sounds like you have a great kid and the luxury of a tight knit family to guide you through your son’s journey.</p>
<p>I’m going to offer a different perspective on this quote, which I don’t think people have offered up earlier in this thread</p>
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<p>So, he has a different world view from you, and one that you don’t really understand too well. A world view is essentially our own personal hypothesis on how the world works. His scientific background tells him to go out and test hypothesis empirically, and by going out and living / working / travelling abroad, and in a non-corporate environment, he’s doing just that. Perhaps his world view will be reinforced, perhaps he’ll realise that you were right all along, but most likely he’ll modify it as he goes out and sees more of the world. Often the best way of modifying your opinions about somewhere (especially if you think it’s some kind of paradise) is to go and live and work there. </p>
<p>Just because you don’t fully understand it, or even if you have different opinions, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Have you thought about sitting down with him and getting him to explain some of the things he believes in? Go in with an open mind - you may even find that there’s something in what he’s saying, for instance about climate change and sustainability. </p>
<p>Ultimately, he’s at a point in his working life where he can go abroad and do some good, whilst having the fall back of a degree and work experience in the US. If he does something engineering related whilst he’s abroad, then I’m willing to bet that that will enhance his employability as and when he comes back. I know I mentioned EWB in a previous post, but another charity that sprang to mind as I mulled this over is Practical Action. They are a charity that provides appropriate technology (i.e. that which is sustainable in terms of energy use, is needed, and can be made and repaired using local tools and skills) to places in developing countries. One example is their micro-hydro power generators, which use fast flowing streams to grind seeds and produce electricity. That, in turn, means that the women can do more useful things, children can study at night, there’s no need for deforestation (and that, in turn, prevents soil erosion), they’re not spending a large proportion of their income on paraffin, and they’re not breathing in smoke from cooking. The list goes on. It really is one of the most innovative charities that I have come across in this sector, and it does sound like something that would suit your son down to the ground. The only sting in the tail is that they do not have international volunteering opportunities, only international job opportunities. [Practical</a> Action - technology challenging poverty | Practical Action](<a href=“http://practicalaction.org/]Practical”>http://practicalaction.org/) </p>
<p>Let’s face it though - people who stick to the conventional path and never take risks don’t make history - and now is the time in his life to be taking those risks. </p>
<p>I’m a cyclist - I cycle everywhere, and my daily commute takes me down my city’s worst road for bike accidents. I’m sure your son is more than aware of the ways in which you can cycle to help prevent cars hitting you (e.g. cycling out of the ‘door zone’ and riding in primary position when it is unsafe for anyone to overtake you). I’m yet to be hit, I don’t believe that cycling is inherently dangerous, and whilst I understand why you worry, I suspect that you have bigger fish to fry. Incidentally, if he plans on going to Europe then he might like to consider visiting the Netherlands, which is something of a Mecca for cycling (Amsterdam has a 60% cycling rate!)</p>
<p>AWX - wouldn’t that be great? I think it’s so bad to worry alone, got to be easier with some company…sigh…</p>
<p>Kajon - hugs, love your DS2, he’d be fast friends with my son.</p>
<p>And finally Boomting - thanks for all you shared. Helps to think about all you have to say. </p>
<p>The past couple of days I’ve been researching medical insurance for travelers and it’s got my worry meter up again. Now keep in mind I don’t have to do this, he does and is or will. But of course I want to be most up on this because it’s my biggest fear, him getting injured beyond what can be fixed. </p>
<p>It helps that I work, workout, and have other responsibilities than just this like you said. And what’s incredibly obvious is this: if I project out to a future for him that I create, it makes me very uptight, because of course, I see him never coming back, joining a commune (are you all laughing right now? because I am at myself, so dating myself), calling home with serious depression and not being able to seek treatment…those are my tough times, just being honest here.</p>
<p>But then what works is this:I don’t project out, I tell myself that he’s pretty bright, he’s responsible for the most part, even though he’s risk adverse, he’s not stupid either. I tell myself that it will all work out, and what a waste to have spent all this time worrying, wait till there’s actually something to worry about…those moments bring me back from the edge of the building - imagine only, just kidding about jumping…</p>
<p>I think it’s his adventure to be had. But I’d be lying if I don’t fantasize about him calling me and telling me that he’s moving to California instead!!!</p>
<p>Worrying is normal. We are neurologically changed when we become parents and will do it for the rest of our lives. Where you are ‘beating this’ is talking back to yourself with very logical, positive responses to your stress. When we ruminate on those negative, fearful thoughts, letting them take over, then there’s a problem. Keep talking back to the fear! Write it down to reinforce the positive. You’re doing just fine!</p>
<p>“I worry that he really doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does about the ‘real world’”</p>
<p>If you’re right, then his plan is going to cure him of this problem very rapidly. He’s acting like someone who thinks he has a lot to learn, not like someone who thinks he has all the answers. (Those folks who think they have all the answers, in my experience, can be found inside banks and law firms.)</p>
<p>Hanna, thanks I needed that insight tonight.</p>
<p>And yes to BlueIguana, I will continue to try and fight off my projections and remind myself to stay in the present.</p>
<p>If he had any clue as to how I’ve been feeling he’d just shake his head…</p>
<p>I comfort myself in hoping he gets kids of his own one day and has a chance to worry about their hi-jinks and escapades</p>
<p>fullmom, as far as insurance…since he won’t be working, and he’s not too old, can you just add him onto your or your husband’s policy? That seems to be legal to do, and if you have good insurance it ought to cover him internationally. If you already have a policy, it doesn’t seem that he would have to specifically buy another travelers policy (unless there are better benefits). Of course, being a working guy, he ought to reimburse you for any additional cost.</p>
<p>Agree Engineers without Borders may be what your S ultimately needs! Good luck!</p>
<p>And bravo to him for realizing we are mostly gas guzzling energy wasters. If only more people felt this way.</p>
<p>As I mentioned upthread, my s has been active in EWB (Engineers without Borders) for years, both in his undergrad and as a professional. Like PC, you can’t just jump in and head for the hills. You join your local chapter (he would now be joining a professional chapter) which means he pays part of his own expenses on any trip and does fundraising and connects with domestic and international technical resources, as well. He would join a team, participate in the planning of the project, organizing whose assignment is what on the project, coordinate with the local organization and the community they will be making a project for, etc.</p>
<p>A lot is done stateside and the trip to the community is usually only for a week or 10 days at a time. Also have to take all the preparatory innoculations, etc. Oh, and one has to be selected to travel with the team (at least that was true for the undergrad program-- professionals are more of the leaders, and usually have past experience). So, be aware, its a wonderful opportunity, but its a big commitment and a lot is done in the US first. He’d probably have to be active in the planning and organization of the project and the trip for many, many months before the trip to the community.
For those truly interested, here a link to the US branch of EWB <a href=“http://www.ewb-usa.org/[/url]”>http://www.ewb-usa.org/</a></p>
<p>busdriver, yeah he is on our policy. I’ve not talked to them yet and so I will, but he did and said that they said he would not be covered there. Now I don’t know how he phrased it. Did he say he was moving there permanently? Probably. And in case he needs it, I’ve no intention of taking him off of it anytime soon.</p>
<p>Travelers insurance is highly recommended. And get this, the hospitals and clinics there need cash upfront before they will treat you. Imagine if we did things this way here? So he’ll need to have credit available to him and I’ve told him as such. While he’s employed I’ve stressed that he needs to have his limits upped to their max before he leaves. And he’ll have a bit of his savings as well. I sure hope he doesn’t need to use it, but yes, he’ll have to invest some of his saving in a Travel Medical policy before he leaves. It will a bit over $1000. A lot to pay, but hey, you can’t leave home without it.</p>
<p>Absolutely agree that international travelers insurance is essential. And check into getting a cellphone plan that covers the international calls at a reasonable rate. Skype and google plus are good, but so is the phone and a data plan.</p>
<p>Trip insurance is a must! My son became ill in London and the cost of his illness was over $3000 in 5 days - and the actual healthcare was FREE. Luckily we had purchased trip insurance (for that short trip was only $49).</p>
<p>When H used to a lot of travel, we got AmEx platinum card for global assist. One of those benefits is :
The card isn’t cheap, but we have it for the family, our 2 kids also have the card for free. There are a lot of other benefits which come with the card.</p>
<p>Make sure you understand what “nearest appropriate medical facility” means, and who determines what is appropriate. Perhaps look for a policy that will transport to a hospital near home, or at least in the US, if necessary.</p>
<p>No matter what kind of policy you have, it would always be determined by their medical professional, no different than when you have an health insurance policy when there is a decision to be made whether a procedure is necessary or not. I don’t think you’ll ever find a policy which would say the appropriate medical facility would always be a facility in the US. With AmEx’s reputation, I think they wouldn’t recommend an inadequate facility for fear of law suit. We are very fortunate that we’ve never had to exercise this benefit. We’ve used the card to get into restaurants, made last minute travel change and additional insurance/protection on purchases.</p>
<p>Is there an app out there that allow you to track the path or mileage you bike? Perhaps it would be interesting for him to keep track of his mileage and if there is a way for you to follow his path, it may help ease your anxiousness. We had a friend run the Boston marathon with a chip in his shoe and we were able to track his path minute by minute. Something like that so that he doesn’t have to call you every x number of days and this way you can quietly observe his “performance” (we won’t tell him ‘stalk’) to see how he is doing.</p>
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<p>Not “always”, but when “deemed medically necessary”. Here are some blurbs from random policies I looked at on insuremytrip.com. I would hesitate to purchase a policy that didn’t have a clause like this.</p>
<p>1) "If following stabilization, when medically necessary and subject to the Administrator’s prior approval, the Insurer will pay for a medically supervised return to the Insured Person’s permanent residence or, if appropriate, to a health care facility nearer to their permanent residence or for one-way economy airfare to the Insured Person’s point of origin, if necessary. "</p>
<p>2) “We will pay the Usual and Customary Charges incurred, up to the Maximum Benefit Amount, for:
1) Your medical evacuation to the nearest appropriate Hospital or medical facility if adequate medical treatment is not available where You sustained the Injury or became Sick.
2) Your medical repatriation from the place where You are being treated to:
a) the most appropriate medical facility closest to Your Primary Residence; or
b) Your Primary Residence.”</p>