<p>Heavyheart- I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>heavyheart – my deepest sympathies on your crushing loss.</p>
<p>I would take the phone to your local cell phone retailer and see if they can recover the pictures for you.</p>
<p>Well said, downtoearth. You touched on something key.</p>
<p>I am so very sorry.</p>
<p>Heavyheart, my deepest sympathies to you and your family, and know that you are surrounded by the love (yes, it is love) and care of people who might only “know” you through this thread but are stepping up to be part of the support that will keep you all safe.</p>
<p>Heavyheart, I’m very sorry also. Know that you can come to CC and someone will have had an experience similar to yours. It helps so much to know that we don’t have to deal with things all alone. Others are here who will reach out.</p>
<p>Dear Heavyheart, Know that I am keeping you in my prayers.</p>
<p>On both sides of my extended family we have recently sufferd similiar losses. 2 ideas that resonate with me – “She/He died from depression” (vs. suicide) - it just taps into the listener’s sensitivity & empathy to the situtation. it can open doors to discussion or not; whatever direction you want to go.</p>
<p>Also, the other astounding news came from a compassionate food delivery person who knew the suffering family. He said that he knows first hand that so many of the deaths in their large town are caused by suicide but publicly the families reported as something else. almost epedemic- which i think helps in knowing you are not alone. Love to you & your family</p>
<p>So sorry for your loss. There is nothing worse than losing a child. I also highly recommend Compassionate Friends. Great organization.</p>
<p>I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine anything worse than losing a child. I think that you writing on this board is taking a step towards healing. Nothing can bring back your dear son, but I hope that the kind and helpful words from so many that posted already are of some small comfort to you.</p>
<p>have been thinking of you all day… so very sad… your son didnt choose…his illness did…your love was enough for your son…but not to overcome his illness…but that isnt something you can or could have controlled. may you find some peace in your heart soon, with the thoughts and feelings you must be experiencing.</p>
<p>I am very sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>And I don’t know if anyone else has mentioned it yet, but I know there are ways to retrieve those lost pictures. My smartphone reset back to factory settings and my father found an internet program to retrieve my lost pictures. Perhaps maybe try that?</p>
<p>Again my greatest sympathy.</p>
<p>So very sorry. God bless.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>I have no idea if you are looking for resources (readings, organizations, e-groups) but here is one: [AFSP:</a> Coping with Suicide Loss: Resource and Healing Guide](<a href=“Redirecting to: /”>Redirecting to: /)</p>
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<p>I keep thinking of your statement above. If someone said “My love wasn’t enough for his cancer,” you would probably sputter in disbelief. Well, the same would be true for mental illness. It IS an illness and love alone cannot cure it, much as we would hope that it could. If love could protect our children from disease, suffering, and unhappiness, very few of our youth would experience it. Unfortunately, this is just not the case. I hope that through counseling you can release yourself from your guilt (and your statement above does reflect a sense of guilt that somehow you failed him) and know that this was not your fault, and that you are not alone.</p>
<p>Dear heavyheart: I have nothing to add except that I am also so sorry and just wanted to let you know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for reaching out to this group.</p>
<p>Sorry for your loss</p>
<p>I wish there was a different vocabulary for depression the disease vs. depression feeling sad for some specific reason.</p>
<p>I lost my little sister to a suicide almost 4 years ago. It will be 4 years on January 14. She was 21 years old at the time. </p>
<p>I had seen her the night before. I knew she was dealing with a difficult patch in her life and that was why I had met with her that night. I dropped her off at her apartment believing that our talk had given her hope she could work through things. I left her thinking she’d reach out to me again if she needed help, if she needed to talk. But the next call I got was from my parents.</p>
<p>I went through months and months of not being able to sleep every time I closed my eyes the woulda, coulda, shouldas kept running through my head. I stopped eating, it was no longer important. I hated being alone. I was always paranoid that something else bad was going to happen. I dreaded hearing people say they knew what I was going through or knew how I must be feeling. I had lost other relatives. My grandfather after a long illness, a cousin after a car accident, but the emotions following a suicide don’t come close to comparing. At my sister’s funeral, my dad commented that the whole situation was surreal, I responded that I’d been using that term frequently. I honestly don’t know how I managed to keep my job during that time because I was literally functioning like a zombie. A close friend demanded I see a counselor because I had PTSD. I did see a counsellor a few times who concurred and told me to research PTSD because understanding the symptoms was helpful to some people. I did research the symptoms, but not much changed.</p>
<p>I eventually found a support group, S.O.S (Survivor’s of Suicide) that I only went to twice, but helped me so much more than I can explain. I talked to others who were going through the same experiences, the same emotions that I was going through and just knowing that I was not alone in what I was going through, that my feelings were ‘normal’, helped me become functional again.</p>
<p>Now nearly 4 years later, I still find it difficult to say her name. Her cell phone number is still stored in my address book because I can’t find the strength to ‘delete her’. I still look at her Facebook page periodically to see if any of her friends have posted - many still do wish her happy birthday or say they were thinking of her and it provides some comfort to know that others still think of her too.</p>
<p>My mom still struggles with what happened daily. For months she would not even leave her house, she would have panic attacks when she did. She took a leave of absence from work and still has not returned (fortunately my dad’s income provides her that ability). She refuses to go to a support group because she doesn’t feel that she can handle the emotions. She has improved…slightly. She can now go to the grocery store or short trips, but spends most of her time sitting alone at home. </p>
<p>I suggest a support group of other suicide survivors. A counsellor might be helpful, but it is so much more helpful to talk to people who understand the emotions, who know what you’re struggling with, and who have gotten through what you’re going through now and provide some hope that there is a future. I wish I could convince my mom of the same. My sister’s death is still a weight I carry with me every single day, but I’ve managed to return to a functional life. It hurts to see that my mom pretty much stopped living the same day as my sister.</p>
<p>Hugs to all on here who have lost loved ones to depression / suicide, and for all of those who care enough to offer their support to those who have. It’s very inspiring.</p>
<p>jrcsmom I am so sorry.
Depression is a cruel disease- because " you don’t look ill".
It runs in my family, although it seems to hit hardest in the 20’s.
I am not a huge fan of medication & I think some things are over prescribed- still medication can help your mom get to a point where therapy/support can help.
Without it, you may feel too out of control/raw.
Just because you go on meds for a time, doesn’t mean you will have to take them forever.
It is one day at a time.</p>