I’m not in the exact position as you but I just wanted to say that I totally get where you are coming from. ECs that take a ton of time and/or money are exhausting for parents. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to tell S19 to stop XC/track. He was in the middle of the team. A strong runner but our top seven all went D1 (top seven runners get to run in the best meets and get the most attention from the coaches). But that didn’t matter. He still ran 60+ miles a week, had injuries on and off, had coaches yelling at him, and got home exhausted every day of the school year to face five hours of homework. I just wanted it to be OVER.
But he loved it. Those were his best friends. He got to spend hours and hours with them during training. So many tears fell when they all said goodbye to each other this summer as they are now all over the US for college. In hindsight, it was worth it. On the day to day basis, I was so done dealing with the coach’s attitude, the obvious exhaustion of S19 throughout the whole year, the trips to PT to see if that nagging injury could be worked out. So many things he could have been doing with that time!
And you know what? He’s doing it again in college. Coach was excited to have him and he’s in the middle of the pack again. It’s taking three hours a day M-Sat. He and I were both hoping he’d have time for multiple ECs in college but XC/track looks like it will be a time suck. He is able to pick up a few clubs here and there so it’s a little better than high school, but the sport will be his biggest EC if he sticks with it. I asked him a few days ago if he thinks all of the time is worth it when there’s so much more to experience there. He said unequivocally yes. I think sports is more than the sport for the kids. It’s a sense of belonging that rewards them with best friends. There’s a teamwork aspect that isn’t always part of other types of ECs. Working out and pushing each other bonds them for sure.
All of this to say that I get it. In your D’s case, it doesn’t sound like she wants to quit volleyball at all. I would just let it go. If she can be on both the volleyball and the softball teams in high school, that’s great. You would know by now if she was recruitable in either sport so I say just let her do what she wants. She can play either or both for fun in college via club or she might just find something completely different. Maybe something like ultimate frisbee…sounds like a lot of kids love it and switch to it as a club sport in college. Who knows!