A few comments:
–Playing on HS teams is not always free. I paid $1500 for my daughter to play on a private HS team as a freshman, and it would have been $850 at the public school. California HS teams are not subsidized by the school districts. Some have found ways to cover the costs, but others just charge the parent. In Florida it was $60 plus whatever the coach wanted to charge for extras like warm up suits. I’d say it was about $200/yr, another $75 for game day meals, more money for coaches gifts, clinics, cleats, sticks, under armor shirts she wore for 5 minutes and found ‘too hot’ … $$$.
–Every team has players who ride the bench. Nice coaches will try to get everyone some playing time, but it is hard to work them into game because the starters have a rhythm going on. My daughter played college lax and there are 12 on the field at a time. Usually 15 of 22 players got playing time in a game and those other 7 just sat, game after game. One girl in my daughter’s year was on the team all 4 years and probably played in 5-6 games while the other 6 started every single game and played almost every minute. She came back year after year, her parents came to almost every game, hosted parties, etc. One team in our conference had 36 rostered players! That’s 2/3s of their team rarely seeing the field. They were the NCAA champs twice so you have to figure the coach knew what she was doing. In fact, the NCAA only allows 24 kids to dress for the playoffs, so 12 players couldn’t even be on the field. The coach at Rollins College platoons his players in like a hockey team so he uses 22-25 players in a game but that’s a rare style for lax. Great coach, great guy. I would have loved my daughter to have played for him but it would have meant her playing time was cut in half.
–there are articles about how good coaches make those practice players feel good, part of the team, important to the team. “Rudy” made a whole career out of being a practice player. If OP’s daughter still wants to be on the team knowing she’ll get no playing time, I’d say her coach is doing a good job of making her feel important and needed for the team to succeed. Still, boring for the parents.
–D1 volleyball teams have many full scholarship players who aren’t seeing playing time. I bet there are 4 scholarship players (of 12) not seeing any floor time in many games. They were superstars in high school/club, got a full scholarship to college, and now are riding the bench. Full scholarship players not playing! A D1 football team has 30+ full scholarship players not playing in the game every week.
–If OP’s daughter really wants to play VB in college, there will be a team for her. It might be D2 or a lower ranked D1 team, but there will be a spot. And playing time may still be a problem for the parents. It always is.
–Picking up a ‘ball’ sport late in high school is pretty hard. Most of those softball players have been playing since they were 6, tossing the ball, hitting off a tee. My D roomed with softball players in college and they were all about softball. They had no time at all during the season for anything else and D had the suite to herself almost every weekend (her team played mostly home games).