<p>RubADub,</p>
<p>Sorry to hear about your dilemma. How far are you from completing your PhD? If you’re closer to the end than the beginning, it might be worthwhile to finish so that you can feel a sense of completion and have the degree, even if you don’t end up in the history field. But that all hinges on whether you can find the motivation to keep going–and that sounds like a big “if” for you. Would the Fulbright scholarship and research abroad be stimulating enough to spur you to the finish line?</p>
<p>If you absolutely can’t find any reason or motivation to stay in the program, it’s probably pointless to continue, especially if doing so only brings depression and isolation. Would it be helpful to go on the project abroad before you decide whether to continue?</p>
<p>There’s a bigger question in all of this. You’re only 28. If you really can’t see finishing the PhD, it’s not too late for you to change course. What would it take for you to have a passionate and authentic life? I’m asking this because I know a counselor who has seen many Asian-American men and women come to her in despair when they are in their forties and fifties. She says that some of the men have had extremely successful careers in the health or technical fields, but feel that they’ve made a huge mistake with their lives. They based their career choices on decisions that they made in their teens or twenties–often under parental pressure–and now they feel that they’ve led inauthentic lives and that it’s too late to do what they really wanted to do. The pain is deep. The counselor says that some of these men sit in her office weeping.</p>
<p>I hope that never happens to you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting financial stability. But being financially solid and having passion aren’t mutually exclusive. The answers may not come immediately, but I hope that you’ll take risks and find a way to embrace your music and discover a career path that genuinely excites you.</p>