I recently switched to children’s Genexa acetaminophen instead of Tylenol. You may want to look into it. No dye and fewer ingredients. GD1 accepted it with no problem. I bought the infant version, too, but haven’t needed it yet.
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My 18 month old grandson got his pacifier taken away “cold turkey” as well but 2 favorite stuffed toys replaced the binky and he seemed to have adjusted very well.
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18 months is what I have heard for getting rid of pacifier. I liked the idea used with pacifier w/o a nipple for one that is very attached to a very special pacifier.
DD’s kids didn’t seem to ‘attach’ to pacifier, and DD1 as an infant didn’t. DD2 was very ‘attached’ to using her 2 fingers. I wonder with GS who is now 15 months how ‘unattached’ we can get him with those fingers. I will discuss with DD about possibly after Christmas/New Year’s to un-entice his in some form or fashion.
GD does not like to wear gloves/mittens. It was very cold yesterday, and I taught her to put her hands in her pockets. She was so happy with it.
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Would she like a hand muff??
(Not recommending this one just showing as an example)
BESPORTBLE Faux Fur Hand Muffs Fox Warm Winter Muffs Winter Hand Warmer for Women Girls White https://a.co/d/80OUI38
We had a rare big snowfall in N AL when DD1 was around age 6. She would not put on the gloves/mittens and had to deal with the pain when she was inside and her hands were warming up. DD1 had to learn lessons the hard way; DD2 observes and listened more.
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GD likes to have free hands to grab and touch things. I think she needs to learn lessons on her own about keeping her hands warm, as posted by @SOSConcern
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I am a parent not a grandparent but torn about a hard decision- should I tell my parents one of their grand kids is trans? I talk/FaceTime with them quite often (once a week or so, more if something is happening) and visit them once every few months. But they see the grandkids in person only two-three times a year for a few days so I could possibly just continue not telling them and saying “she/her” and using the female birth name for my trans son.
it is hard to predict how they will react as unfortunately they are trumpers, watch Fox “news” etc. But they aren’t crazy and family is everything to them so i am just not sure… would love to be able to talk to them openly about my life as I do have a good relationship with them (politics aside which they know better than to bring up).
I think you should be guided by your S. How old is he? How does he feel about them knowing, or alternately, not knowing?
He shouldn’t feel like his identity should be hidden, but equally I think he should have, unless he is very young, agency in the decision making.
I don’t think there’s any hard and fast rules. I imagine they will learn this eventually, and hopefully love of family will beat at political leanings.
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Thanks and I agree. But my son is torn as well. He doesn’t want to hide but isn’t that close to his grandparents and wants to avoid any scenes or problems. Guess that’s my point - we would all like to be open with them but none want fights or issues.
I can understand it is difficult. If he’s not that close, then definitely he should do what feels right for him. None of us can know better than you if there would be problems. Hugs to you all; it should be easier than this.
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Another sending hugs as you navigate the choice you are facing.
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I, too, am sending you hugs, relaxmom. This will be a hard decision. Give yourselves some time before you decide what to do.
Whatever you decide, I am one Nana sending your son and your family my support.
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Since your son sounds like he does still see his grandparents occasionally in person, how will this be kept a secret? All the best to you and your family.
About how we can keep hiding the truth for in person visits- he has always dressed very masc and always had very masc haircut etc so the grandparents are used to that and his look is still very androgynous (honestly a stranger would prob identify him as female). So if everyone is told to use she/her and the old name (sorry as a mom who gave it I won’t call it deadname) during the visit I don’t think the grandparents would notice anything different. Of course if they come to his high school graduation it will be almost impossible to keep a secret bec the new name and pronouns will be used, will be in the program, etc. And if with time/hormones his look becomes more unmistakably masculine it will also become harder.
A very good friend of mine is a Fox News watcher and a Trumper. When his daughter told him she was gay, he was very accepting. He was fine with who she is and embraced the person she was dating at that time.
D2 was reluctant to tell my mom she was dating a black person (I know it sounds bad), but my mom just asked if he was handsome and tall.
I guess what I am trying to say is most parents just want their children/grandchildren to be happy. Maybe your kid should give your parents a chance and not assume the worst. I do agree that it needs to be your kid’s decision to tell.
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There are many people who are ‘anti’ something or just don’t think about it until it lands on their doorstep. It’s amazing how understanding a grandparent can be when a loved grandchild is gay, marries a person of another race, changes religion, etc.
My father was a bigot. My daughter is Chinese. He had to deal with it, and did, if he wanted to be in our lives. And he had to change some of his language that was very derogatory. And he did.
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So true. But somehow due to the haters out there, being prejudiced against trans kids seems to be much more socially acceptable than being against gay people or people of color.
Even if everyone is told to use the old name around the grandparents, it seems it would be very easy for someone to slip up and use the current preferred name. It just seems it is bound to come out eventually. Maybe better to come from you or your child directly?
It is quite possible that the grandparents will not be accepting; it definitely happens. It is also very possible that they will be accepting … if not exactly understanding, or even “supportive,” accepting. Once your son is ready for his grandparents to know the truth, he will be ready to deal with their reaction. Until that time, I would be in favor of business as usual. It’s your son’s decision when/if to let his grandparents know his truth. My hope is that when the time comes, their love for their grandchild will guide their response.
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