Wow. Have you considered letting them work this out on their own?
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Wow, not even sure what to say about that except I find it offenses to all sexes and I’m glad I’m from the Midwest. 
Now, back to grandparenting/grandkids.
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My GD6 just started in Scouts and she’s loving it! Girl Scouts are not as active in her town and she loves the outdoorsy stuff Scouts do. Also likes having guy friends in the group. Her Dad is also an Eagle Scout but fine with the newer changes.
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They work out issues certainly, but I do provide some different ways for things to be looked at - with appropriate timing and tone. “What do you think about….” for example. DH says things less frequently but also visits and interacts less frequently - but he does mention things to both DDs just like my dad would sometimes mention something that he thought was something to think about.
DD1/SIL are the parents of course, and they run their own household.
Also, DD1/SIL do rely on DH and I for childcare specifically when they need it when school is out and they both can’t take the leave time to cover (between Christmas and New Years).
They certainly have the right to choose what they do in many ways, but we also ‘choose’ to help them out in many ways.
I help DD1 out with providing clothing for the children that she often doesn’t have the time to shop for (I run ideas by her and get her approval on clothing items before being purchased) - SIL would have no clue on clothing purchasing - in all aspects w/o taking a huge block of time to do so (and I am serious about that). DD1 has organized and stored the clothing/shoes that can be passed down to younger siblings and can be pulled out when needed. Typically, when I visit, I see what is needed and dialog with DD1. GS1 and GS2 got very nice dress pants for church that they love wearing, I got golf style shirts to match, and GS1 expressed more things he would like at Christmas. The whole family likes a specific professional and college football team, and I have purchased tee shirts for all of them.
For those on this thread that are not grandparents yet, or do not have a number of grandchildren with two FT working parents (neither working from home) - you certainly have ‘what if’ ideas.
We were very happy DDs graduated from college debt free and supported themselves. They let us know any boundaries they have and also ask us for advice and help. We offer help and they decide what help they want to accept. We also do say no with our own boundaries.
DH and I grew up in the Midwest but have lived in the south since 1978. IDK why it is offensive to think that taking out the garbage has been tasked to men culturally in the south in the past. I never thought too much about my purse contents being off limits culturally either, but I suspect women have had to set boundaries in past years - and also want to rely on their purse contents being actually remaining in their purse.
Being glad one is from the Midwest is all well and good but mingling and understanding how others think in different areas of the country can also lead to respecting people’s roots/heritage/comfort zones.
I agree with you and hope DD1/SIL take advantage of Scouts in their area for their children so the girls do not get excluded.
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What a crazy day it has been. Text at 5:45 am from D1 that her water broke around 5 am. They checked into the hospital right before 8 am. The hospital is less than 2 miles from our house. D1 had said before that she just wanted her H with her when the baby was born and I was good with that.
SIL was great keeping H, D2 and I updated in our family group text. D1 was already dilated to 5 when they got to the room. I told SIL to let me know if he wanted lunch and I would drop something by. I arrived at the hospital at 11:30 with a sandwich and D1 told SIL to have me bring it up and say hi to her. When I got to the room the doctor had just checked D1 and said it was time to push! I asked her if she wanted me to leave and she told me to stay. Baby girl was born at 11:54 am weighing 7 lbs 3 ozs and 18 1/2 inches long. She is everything 
D1 was amazing as labor was very quick for a first time mom. Baby’s heart rate was down and the doctor used the suction to help get her delivered and she perked right up. I stayed for the first 20 minutes after she was born then left them so they could bond with baby.
H, D2 and I will go over later this afternoon so that they can meet baby girl. I love her name and I love that her middle name is after SIL’s grandma that passed away 2 years ago.
I am so excited to be a grandma and this little girl is going to be so spoiled by both sides of her family. Her due date was 10/14 and when I had lunch with D1 on Friday she said she thought she would go past her due date since she wasn’t having many contractions. I did remind D1 that I was due with her on 10/16 and she was born 10/11. Baby girl decided she was ready to meet everyone a bit early.
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What wonderful news. I still get shivers when I think of meeting the babies for the first time. It’s nice you were able to be there. She is going to one well loved little girl with all of you surrounding her.
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I want to get a birthday gift for the non birthday sibling. He loves robots, any ideas? He is 3 1/2.
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Congratulations @showmom858! So exciting to be starting the grandparent journey, isn’t it?
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Wonderful news!!!
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@FallGirl it sure is
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Congratulations @showmom858!!
I was in the room quite by accident when my daughter had her first baby! Same scenario, my SIL asked me to bring him dinner because the cafeteria was closed. Then they told me to hang out.
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Congratulations, showmom858, to you and your family! What a special day!
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Congratulations to the family!
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When my youngest brother was born, my sister and I were headed off with my grandfather for a week or more (on a preplanned trip, baby was like 2-3 weeks late) and in those days mother/baby stayed in the hospital for 5 days. My father took my brothers, ages 4, 5 and 9 to a hotel for a baseball weekend because he couldn’t have watched them at home, couldn’t cook, etc. We’d just moved and had no family help in the area.
He was domestically useless. His mother babied him and my mother continued this when they were married. Glad to say that type of parenting has died out in my family and my brothers (most of them) and BIL are much more domestic and helpful both with kids and taking care of the house.
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Will be trying to keep busy this week and get our house ready–picking up our GD Monday.… our D & SIL will be heading to hospital for the birth of their second child….unless she goes into labor this week, which isn’t looking promising as of now. Exciting and yet, nervous and stressful time–Grandbaby #2 has a heart defect and will require surgery. Could happen shortly after birth, but likely within the first few months. Surgeon said if baby has to have a heart defect, this is a good kind to have. So, we’re keeping the faith, and trying to remain positive. I bought the cutest little pumpkin newborn outfit and a Big Sister shirt today.
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I had to read this twice because I’m not sure I understand. Are you saying that your daughter took her son with her for a weekend away because she was concerned that your son-in-law would not take care of his son? Did she think her son would get hurt/injured/not looked after if he were left alone with his father???
@Gosmom: If I may ask, what is the baby’s heart defect?? I too was born with one and was told it was the “best” one to have. (I had an atrial septal defect.) How was it diagnosed – ultrasound??
I hope the baby is born strong and ready for his surgery. If he goes directly to the NICU, let the nurses pamper him and D/SIL. They really know all the tricks to making it a better (never great) stay like free parking coupons, discounts at the cafeteria, sending them home with diapers and formula.
My daughter had surgery the day she was born (to close a valve between heart and lungs. The incision was about an inch long. As she grew, it grew and is now about 12". When people ask about it, we started saying “shark bite”. You can’t believe how many people believe that. I’m an anti-tattoo person, but said I’d be okay with her getting a shark tattoo at the bottom of the scar.
Congrats on your grandson.
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