To me it is a plus that he will grow in confidence (and size) and his social skills will probably improve with the extra time. It will ‘pay off’ later in HS when he will get his driver’s license earlier or on time with other male classmates.
BIL with November birthday (back when cut off was Dec 1) had a very minor poop ‘accident’ – his mom said it wasn’t even thumbnail size, but teacher held him back. His Jesuit all boy HS closed after his HS junior year, but the Jesuit network took over - he took the summer English course he needed at Marquette (lived at his aunt’s) - to be the ‘last’ graduate of his HS, and one phone call to ND Father Hesburgh and he had a spot at ND for the fall. DH’s econ teacher was later President at Marquette.
Our 2 YO GD2 is staying at daycare until the fall (she turns 3 in June). The program the older three kids are at will move and also have a lot of new summer kids. In the fall she will join her older siblings and benefit from capped tuition (no extra for her) for a small class of similarly aged kids. They are working out negotiations to have the school be where the summer program is, and that will be a win for the family due to location and other activities in that area.
We held my older son back in nursery school – he did the “threes” for two years. He’s a December birthday and the cutoff was December 31, so he was definitely the youngest and the smallest in his class. We suggested it to his teachers and they were soooooo relieved we did – because they were going to suggest it to us and of course didn’t know how we’d react.
It was definitely the right thing to do. And as the years went by, he was definitely not the oldest in his new class – other kids stayed behind for one reason or another.
ETA: And now he’s 41 years old with a doctorate, so all’s well that ends well!
Or moved in from other districts/states. My brother, whose birthday is tomorrow, started in a district where the cut off was 12/31 but moved to a district where the cut off was Sept 1, and many of those (especially boys) were held back at some point. My brother was youngest by as much as 2 years.
One of my kids was a Nov. birthday in a 12/31 district. We redshirted, but the school took that back a year later, so he was generally the youngest. Hit puberty the summer between 8th and 9th grade, so he was as tall as his classmates by then. Was 17 when he started college, wasn’t really an issue. The driver’s license business was irrelevant to us – they weren’t getting cars from us, and this son is in his mid-30s now and still doesn’t drive. The other one got his license the first winter break he was home from college, but has never owned a car (he’ll be 34 soon). He and DIL are considering it if they have kids. That, and there are parts of central Europe where public transit is difficult, and they really want to visit some of those places!
It really depends on the child. There are so many factors that go into this- kids develop/ mature at different times. And there is intellectual maturity, physical maturity, social maturity and emotional maturity which don’t all develop at the same time.
Every child is on a different timeline. They all felt there eventually.
My kids are both Nov babies. The pediatrician said S could have started kindergarten at age 3 intellectually but it would be kinder and better to give him more time to mature socially & emotionally, so we held him back. His pre-school had an excellent pre-K program for all the “late horns,” including him. He and D were somewhat irked that we held them both back but eventually they realized it was a good thing they had that extra year. For S, it was for him to gain social/emotional skills. For D, it was for her to gain intellectual skills. S was reading at 3 and D started reading in 1st grade. D had great friends at age 3 but S had a lot more trouble making and keeping friends. Both kids are bottom 5% for height and weight, so they fit in for height & weight by staying back a year as well. When they transferred to private school in 9th grade, they met back up with a lot of the Jr-K kids that had gone to preschool with. D has classmates & close friends that are about her age (held back a year as well), as well as some that are nearly a year or more younger because they weren’t held back.
My S/DiL are going ahead with a plan to throw themselves a baby shower, having taken me up on our offer to “host” it by being the one to send the invitations (but not plan the party in any way, or make the guest list, etc.). They are hoping to have it at one of their local parks in a pavillion. I am hoping that will keep it more casual.
We spent the weekend with them so DH could help S with some house stuff. I think her possessiveness about the pregnancy is somehow connected to her feeling bereft – like emotional nesting, she’s trying to create the family glow she feels was denied by circumstances prior to having us. As if the pregnancy has really highlighted for her that we are all she has, and that’s scary. Or something. When I frame it this way, I just feel grace and compassion for her, so I am willing to have the biggest shower on the planet if it will help heal her heart.
My sister and BIL are becoming grandparents (I’m very jealous). When I was at their house for the Superbowl, I noticed the fence between their house and their neighbors was just a chain link fence, but I’d never noticed it before because in the summer there is a ton of vegetation and the rest of the fence is a 6’ wood fence. I asked if the insurance company charged them more because they have a pool. Nope, no one every mentioned it (it is not in any way visible from the front of the house) but now that there will be a grandchild they are already talking about putting an extra fence just around the pool.
They have lived in their house for 30 years. Their son was born 11 days after they moved in, and their daughter was 2.5 at the time. They didn’t open the pool for the first 10 or so years they lived there (they belong to a swim club a few blocks away so their kids were always there) and the pool had a cover on it, but it was just a canvas cover. Many a kid tried to walk on water trying to retrieve a ball on that pool cover.
But the grandchild? Who doesn’t even live there (and isn’t even alive yet) has to have a new fence. I wouldn’t have lived in that house without an additional fence so I’m happy about the new fence. I wouldn’t let my daughter play in friend’s backyard without me as they had a 1 foot deep koi pond. My daughter was wild and had no fear of pools or diving boards or hot tubs. She had to be watched at ALL times. She took 4 swimming lessons every week because I feared she’d drown, and she had no body fat at all so couldn’t float.
Our prior home had a pool (we had no kids at the time), and this was before they had those motion detection pool alarms. We had a chain link fenced backyard, with only a small portion of the fence at both sides of the house, but I was in the back of my mind consciously concerned/feared that I would look out my kitchen window and one day see a floating body. Next door had a young child for a few years, but very attentive parents. When pool season was over, we had a custom anchored cover that could hold a small child - BIL was in back yard with his 2 YO daughter and DH and that was ‘tested’ due to the guys’ carelessness.
Aww! My oldest granddaughter (twin A) just brought me a page of hearts she drew and colored for me to wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day. (All completely unprompted–so even sweeter.)
D1 and SIL have been slowly getting their home set up in CT. Today D1 sent this cute picture of GD’s bookshelf. The cute stuffed fruits on the bookshelf are all from D2. GD is just over 4 months old and loves to hold the fruit stuffies when she is getting her diaper changed!
I’m recovering from having my daughter and her family for the long weekend. The local kids and grandkids also came over so it was exhausting but wonderful. The cousins are all toddlers and it the two older ones really played together. We also had my in-laws for an afternoon and my sister. My house now needs a deep cleaning.
My son-in-law has a work trip next month in my area so we have plans for my granddaughter to fly down with him and stay with us for five nights while her Dad works. He will be at a hotel with his work colleagues so we will be on our own. We will drive her home to my daughter as my son-in-law has another stop on his work trip. She is just three but has had overnights with her other grandparents so I think she will do well. It will give my daughter a well needed rest. My granddaughter is attached like glue to her mommy.
The local grandkids have not done overnight with us as they are all bad sleepers.
@mom60 It sounds like you had a great weekend with all of the grandkids and family. How lovely that you get to have your GD for a week! I look forward to being able to watch GD overnight for D1 in the future.
I had DGD-4 and DGS-6 here for the day because both schools are closed for the week. DH and I will watch them all week, and fun and games include coloring, drawing, reading, watching Daniel Tiger, grocery shopping, going to the hardware store, the local museum, the library, taking walks…..we’re boring folks. DGS-6 was not enthusiastic about going to the climbing gym, or other such exotic places, so I figure a lowkey week is what he wants.
GD(6), GS(4), and GS(2) were here this weekend for my birthday. GD is local and the boys (and their parents) are not, so they stayed over. GD made my cake. It was from a mix, but she loves to pour, add the water, eggs, and oil, stir, and especially lick the bowl. Older GS saw the cake, remembered how old I was (71) and then declared that we’d never be able to put all those candles on the cake. Thanks for the honesty, little one.
