It will all be worth it once you have arrived & get settled in!
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OMG, @snowball! How scary!! The school should pay all the out of pocket medical expenses.
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For those that wanted an update, I will try to keep it short! D and SIL have had several meetings with the assistant director (whom they adore), GD’s teachers, and other staff. The director, who was at school the day of the incident, is out of town this week. A lot of apologizing from the lead teacher, as well as no reason as to why she would feed GD a food she is known to be allergic too. She admitted to not thinking, but also in a conversation with only my D, tried to throw the director under the bus. As the director is not there to defend herself, D spoke with the assistant director who mentioned that the teacher’s story keeps changing and she was going to be speaking to the director this evening.
D and SIL made “demands” about how things would be handled going forward. The AD and room assistant came up with some suggestion that were very helpful; most to avoid GD from getting into other children’s snack or lunch. She already eats at a table alone, so the suggestions are more for if another teacher happens to be in the room during meals, it will be very obvious that an allergic child is in the room; much like a Beware of Dog sign! D feels comfortable that school is going to do what is needed to keep GD safe, but, she doesn’t believe she will every trust the teacher, assuming she keeps her job. I did say it was her right to request the teacher be moved to another class or she will pull out of the school, which she has no interest in doing at this time. Like every other industry, there is not an abundance of people looking to be daycare workers, so who knows what they could fine if she was let go.
School self reported to the state, and daughter has already been contacted by DFCS. They want all her hospital notes sent to them. By law, all incidences have to be reported. While school will take care of her hospital bills, when you have a great insurance plan, and you have a child with food allergies, you meet your deductible early in the year; not sure there will be much, if any, out of pocket that needs to be paid.
Hopefully the changes will be helpful for the school going forward. There was a great school GD was going to go to last year, but the cost and no summer sessions made it hard for the family, as they would have to find childcare during the summer, as well as several week long breaks. It was a fabulous program where half of the class would be able bodied, and the other half would be children with some sort of needs. I felt at this young age, from a health stand point, that the other school would have provided more comfort. Then this program called with an opening; D had been on the waiting list for the infant daycare since she was pregnant. She decided the hours and location were better for their family, and until this past week, she has been very happy there; she and GD have made friends with the other mothers and children in the class.
So, I think D is breathing a bit easier, but still not happy with the teacher. Still uncertain if she will continue working there, or will be supervised more, or the final outcome. I am sure there will be more info when the director returns from vacation.
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Please update us when the director returns.
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Have safely made the move to California!
Despite a relatively late start yesterday, I got in around 8pm last night. Babies were already asleep, but I helped to get them up this morning. Twin A was a bit shy. (She hasn’t seen me in person for 4 months.) But she was flirting & playing happily with me by the time breakfast was over. Twin B was all big smiles when I lifted her out of the crib.
They have gotten SO BIG!
So babies and family were happy to see me, but my furniture and belongings are in limbo somewhere on a moving truck. I was told delivery could take up to 22 days from the time of pick up.
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Wow! My sister just moved and was put out that her furniture didn’t arrive same day–though it was only a three hour move across one state line. 22 days seems ridiculous!
I know the move depends on how many people are ‘shared’ in one truck and how the various deliveries go. When they say up to 22 days they want to present worst case scenario.
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Just spent 4.5 days with D and family, as well as son and family at daughter’s home. The guys were attending an event, and the girls played! My D didn’t want to talk much about the allergy incident, but did tell me as far as the school was concerned, she was happy with the changes going forward. When the assistant director spoke to the teacher and asked what was going on that she would not think about the allergic child in her class, the teacher admitted to something going on in her personal life. The AD told her she could not come to work if she was not able to attend to the children in her charge, and going forward she would need not to come to work if she wasn’t 100% capable of taking care of the children. While I assume the AD knows what the problem was, my daughter was not told. As of this afternoon, the teacher has been fired. While I am sorry this woman lost her job, I am please she isn’t caring for children if she is not able. A new teacher was actually in the classroom on Thursday, and my daughter wondered if the previous teacher was indeed let go, but hadn’t been told yet.
This is the first time in the school’s 20+ year history, that DCFS has ever been involved. The AD told my daughter that whatever DCFS recommended, they had to follow. I do not know if the teacher was fired because school wanted her gone, or if that was what DCFS demanded. D is friendly with the AD, so I assume she will find out in due time.
This event has hit my D and SIL very hard. While GD has had other allergic reactions, I believe this time they really understood the severity of GD’s allergy. They really are a mess right now, and having a house full of guest after the week they had, didn’t help. My other GD, who just turned 3, would run around the house eating cheese or drinking milk, and then touching toys and putting then in her mouth. My D was obsessively cleaning behind her, afraid GD would pick up a speck of food and eat it, or touch a surface and then put her hands in her mouth. It was a stressful weekend for my D, and I know she is looking forward to my S and his family leaving tomorrow!
As I have mentioned, D and SIL are type A people, and also worried about their daughter. The thought that your child could die just from eating something that almost ever other 2 year old can eat, and eats all the time, has made them rethink how things are done. While they will always worry and have to be careful, I think/hope they can calm down in the near future. We have already discussed with son that we will rethink how the girls are feed when together; the next time is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is always at my home; the last 4 years were at my clubhouse as we downsized to a townhome. My cousin is hosting this year as the clubhouse was not available, which is now a good things, as I won’t have to worry about so many foods out where GD is. I will still do my same cooking, but it will be before they get to town as what I make can be done ahead. After Thanksgiving, the next time they will be together is our family beach trip in June. One would hope by then things will be calmer; if not, we may have to forgo them being together until they are both old enough to understand how to keep the younger one from eating what is not hers, or putting her hands in her mouth, and the older one from running around while eating and puting toys in her mouth!
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Wow. @snowball, that’s definitely a lot of stress. I think it’s good the teacher was fired. It certainly shows your daughter and SIL that the school takes this very seriously.
My S, DIL, 2 1/2 yr old GD and one-month-old GS just left us, after six days here. It was wonderful to have them here, and my GD is adorable and a lovely, loving little girl. But I sure am glad to have my house, and my really boring routine, back.
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What is the consensus on having a crib at your house. I’m considering a crib or maybe just a portable crib. Grandchild to be will live in our city. Also do you have your own car seat?
My sister has a portacrib or more in her house as well as a car seat for each grandchild she’s watching. That’s the only sane way to be able to run errands or go for a drive without having to keep swapping the car seat in and out of parents’ cars. There are decent ones for $100 or so.
I have a crib, car seats and stroller at my house. All have come in very handy for both the in town and out of state grandkids. I loved my wooden highchair and had saved it. All the grandkids have now had holiday dinners sitting in their daddy’s old highchair.
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I have a pack-and-play, car seat, stroller, and a high chair (plus lots of toys). Granddaughter lives nearby and I’m the back-up childcare when she gets sick and mom and dad have to work.
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I have a pack and play and stroller that I bought at a resale shop (they’re in great shape, and I bought a mattress online from Hickapop). I bought a high chair from IKEA for $20. It’s great - doesn’t fold up, but I can fit it in my coat closet. I have lots of toys. My D bought a car seat for me. I babysit halftime (the other grandma splits duties with me), and while I usually do it at D’s house, I typically bring GD over once a week now that she’s older (10 months).
Wow on DCFS involvement after 20+ year ‘clean history’. But your family actually did a good deed for any other children with severe allergies attending there in the future. I know your entire family will have more attention and concern so that family gatherings can work well - and absolutely more vigilance is needed when there are other small children involved that don’t understand the food dangers with the allergic child.
Our grandchildren attend a super child care facility – large, well run, in a church facility and they have hot breakfast and lunch provided (of course any allergic child has accommodations and would have special attentiveness). The baby will be there Dec 1 when DD’s maternity leave runs out (12 weeks), along with 3 YO and 2 YO.
My own two were in full time care until older child went to first grade and I became a SAHM (younger child was one year home with me before going to kindergarten). Having a well run day care or Montessori for the children is a relief for the parents, and is worth what it costs. I only left the work force when my DH had to travel (a lot internationally) at the drop of a hat and I have no local family – someone had to raise the children. We muddled through financially, and I was able to manage DH’s 401k to where we are comfortable in retirement (It took several times/meetings with our financial advisor to continually comment to DH on what a great job I did with our retirement funds for DH to realize my two graduate business degrees were put to good use!!)
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We have the Ikea highchair in our house as well. Also a crib, because GD started freaking out at around 18 months in the Pack and Play and needed a real place to sleep when they visit. More recently they have left a baby bathtub and toddler potty at our place.
We have the same crib here that we bought for GD’s home, along with a changing table, Keekaroo high chair, Evenflo stroller, Toddleroo baby corral, and Evenflo car seat. Pre-high chair age we used the “Upseat” (made in Canada - it was a great help.) Recently, we set up a low bookcase for her collection of board books that used to be kept in a bin.
H built a play table for the Duplo sets, but I think it needs taller legs already. He also built a sturdy frame to hold a LittleTikes swing outside. Most of the other toys fit into one small rolling bin except for the LittleTikes car.
We babysit at our house two or three times a week and it helps to have all of this stuff here.
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I have a mini-crib, stroller and the IKEA high chair. My granddaughters live 80 miles away. I might get a car seat when DD who lives local has her baby (due in May).
Question. My daughter in law wants a mama/mini matching sweatshirts for her and her two daughters (8 months and 2.5 years). I am having a hard time finding the infant size and the toddler size to match. Usually they seem to have one or the other. Anyone found anything cute like this?
Try Etsy!
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Lots of baby/kid stuff at our house. While they’re only here 6 or so times a year, it’s less stuff to schlep across the state. I have a pack and play, stroller, booster seat for the table, small table and chairs, cupboard of toys and books, craft drawers, inflatable pool, sand toys, outdoor games and balls.
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