Yes, an independent educational consultant can be very helpful. They aren’t “hired guns” but can evaluate your child’s situation and help find appropriate placement. The counselors that work with boarding/day schools will likely be familiar with a number of places. Your location, a few miles from Boston, will not be of concern.
Here’s an admin question. She has taken the SAT once already. But most schools require SSAT for 11th graders. Would the SAT score suffice, or should we schedule the SSAT? She last took it in 2014.
The consultants should be able to answer that question. A strong record at a known prep school may be more helpful for the school(s).
Thesis from the SPS website, as an example: “Additionally, students applying for 11th grade may submit SAT or PSAT scores in lieu of SSAT scores.”
It is my understanding that other schools have similar policies for students applying for 11th and 12th grade.
As an aside, it’s interesting to note that we posters assumed it was a son and not a daughter…
@doschicos , interestingobservation. I , at least, was influenced by the male pronoun in the first, and subsequent, posts. Agree in re-reading that OP didn’t say this, but I don’t think we all got to “son” independently.
I assumed it was a male also…and I think that’s part of the problem in education and why males are self-selecting and not going to college.
^Wait, how does a student doing a string a stupid things compute with males not going to college?
Anyway… I agree the local school isn’t appropriate, so another boarding school, or a day school within driving/bussing distance is by far the best choice. Since the school offered to give you solutions, I hope they had good ideas too. 
Perhaps, @hanna, who has experience in this area can provide some professional insights.
@Garandman - Sorry to hear that this has happened; I can imagine how frustrating and tough this must be because we all want the best for our kids.
Regarding the potential for public school, is there any chance that you could rent a small apartment or condo in a desirable suburb for a year and enroll your daughter in the high school? (I’m aware of a few families who have done just this in situations in which the commuting time from the city/lousy school district to the suburb/great school district is reasonable.) It’s just a year, and could be cost effective, although Dorchester might be too far from the “right” suburbs to the northwest…
The only other observation that I would make is that if you are going to look for another private/boarding school option, please don’t feel bad about using any and all personal and family connections. It’s done all the time, and contrary to what schools will have you believe, yes kids do get in that way who would never be considered otherwise.
Best of luck with the next year for your daughter.
OP, I hope everything works out well for your daughter. Have you checked with @Hanna (our resident expert)? She may have some solid advice.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: This thread has drifted off topic. Please stay on-topic so that I don’t have to close the thread.
One of the educational consultants that has come to our attention is McMillan Educattion. They seem well established and have a comprehensive approach. But it’s difficult to check how effective their approach is, and we have no idea of the cost.
OP- I’m so sorry.
Just my two cents : If you feel like continuing on the BS path, I would reach out to viable ( Top 15- 30 ) schools and have candid discussions with the AOs. There’s no need for consultant/parent spin or having connected friends vouch for your child and family. I believe in second chances and thankfully most BSs do, too. Just be open and direct, and I think you’ll get a good response which will hopefully lead to a fresh start in fall. Fingers crossed.
People who suggest public school as an obvious alternative ( given the circumstances ), or liken it to a life lesson aren’t quite grasping a parent’s emotional and financial investment which ( of course ) is a distant second to all the worries, concerns and wide-range of emotions one has for their child when $%** like this happens. And, $%** does happen.
At college, too. A very wise BS Head with kids of his own once told me with a wink: You’ll know the ring…
It’s incredibly hard for a family to switch gears after being so all- in and it dates back to the acceptance letter arriving in the mail or inbox. There’s a lot more to it ( which won’t make OP feel any better so I’ll leave it there- but use your imagination, people! ) and if this applies to the OP’s family, I’d suggest giving your child another chance to finish their BS education on a high note.
IDK…I’m usually a hardliner but reading between the lines- I have a feeling that your child might look back someday and remember that you moved some mountains and believed in her. Kindness during this time, even if a parent has to reach deep down, is a priceless gift longterm.
OP- I’ll be happy to give you some school ideas via PM if you’d like. Let me know and I wish you all the best.
I assume any consultant you contact would be able to give you references.
Renting an apartment or house in a reasonable school district would be another solution. Even if your child were to attend school in your current town, by senior year students have moved on from their middle school social groups. And Boston has a complicated system of school placement.
There are also day schools in the area, including parochial schools.
I believe college applications ask about any disciplinary episodes. Whatever route your family chooses, if you plan for her/him to attend college on schedule, the child must work on written and oral explanations of the matter. That is one more thing I would hope a good consultant could help her/him with. You, as the parents, may be too emotionally invested in defending your child to be able to judge how someone else will feel about the explanation.
On the bright side, admissions people in colleges know that boarding schools can be draconian in discipline. On the other hand, remember they will also know the people to contact at your child’s former school for further clarification on the issue.
“It’s incredibly hard for a family to switch gears after being so all- in and it dates back to the acceptance letter arriving in the mail or inbox. There’s a lot more to it ( which won’t make OP feel any better so I’ll leave it there- but use your imagination, people! ) and if this applies to the OP’s family, I’d suggest giving your child another chance to finish their BS education on a high note.”
I guess I have a poor imagination because I’m lost here. :-??
I do think the advice given in the post is solid, though.
McMillan is quite expensive and they tend to want to sell you a full package. Plus a letter of recommendation from a consultant who doesn’t really know your child is unlikely to be effective. The main value of a consultant is to make the prep school admissions process more comprehensible and to recommend schools that might match your child’s needs and talents. As your child’s already attended a TSAO school you probably have some of this information already. If McMillan or one of the other consultants is willing to do a one-shot review of your child’s information and recommend some schools I’d go for it but I’d be wary of them trying to draw the process out. I’d be happy to give you the name of an independent consultant I know who might be willing to do a quick consultation if you PM me.
I agree with those who have advised you to contact DOA’s directly. It may be tough to secure a spot at this point but it’s worth it to at least have a very candid conversation. As long as this was not a serious drug offense or offense against another student (date rape, harassment, etc.) you’re likely to find some schools willing to consider your kid. Schools know that kids screw up and something like “got drunk and trashed the common room” or “had consensual sex in an off-limits area” is likely to be seen as evidence of immaturity but not necessarily bad character.
I know a family (I believe from the same school as your child has been attending) whose child was forced to leave very late in his HS career. He attended the local public HS and is now at a great college. I can give you the name if you’d like. The public school was high quality so this might not be as attractive an option for your family if you don’t have confidence in your LPS.
Another option, as others have mentioned, is to do an alternative program for the year and reapply during the regular admissions cycle. I don’t know how selective the Mountain School and Island School are but they might be an option.
While I understand what you’re saying, previous financial and emotional investments should explicitly be ignored as they’re sunk costs and can’t be unspent. While I’ve no opinion on whether a boarding, private day, home, or public school is the right option, it’s irrational to simply require a boarding school because you did it previously.
As far as having a boarding school cohort, organizational dynamics make it really unlikely that a kid coming in for the last year only will really be part of the group. I’d argue it’d be more like the exchange student experience, “oh yeah, we had a kid from Spain too…what was his name again?”
Every BS is like a family and if you’re like me or other BS parents, you probably had high, high hopes, dreams and felt a keen sense of belonging from the very start. Imagine being asked to leave and have all of that dashed. Imagine what that does to your kid… even if you’re able to conceal disappointment and anger. I’ve known parents who have gone through this and it’s soul crushing. It’s a real emotional rollercoaster ( for everyone ) until you’re able to remedy it somehow . Have you ever seen a parent pack up a room and load the car midyear ? I have and it’s hard to forget the anguish on their face.
That’s all, @doschicos . It’s also possible that this family has pushed past it, and my comment doesn’t apply to the OP at all, but I’m assuming that on some level it still stings quite a bit.
I can’t imagine receiving a letter asking a family to withdraw is any different than a midyear departure , but who knows- I could be totally wrong.
^^ Thanks for this, @PhotographerMom – I too was a little lost, and I TOTALLY get it now. I think many of us feel a sadness as out kids GRADUATE from BS at the loss of community. To leave under different circumstances would be, as you note, “soul-crushing”.
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As a parent who has gotten the call to “come pick up your child” unexpectedly (twice actually- 2 years in a row - same daughter) I just wanted to say I understand your situation and have felt all of the emotions you are experiencing. I am happy to answer any questions via pm about our experiences/ lessons learned. But mostly wanted to send hugs and positive thoughts to you and your family during this difficult time.
Our story did have a happy ending. Daughter went on to another school, got into great college and wrote her college admissions essays about lessons she learned through leaving BS. Is now a mature college junior who just decided to switch colleges as she did not feel like it was a great fit. She had done awesome academically but wasn’t satisfied on the lifestyle- she had great choices to transfer to. She ended up picking the less prestigious option to attend as she felt like it was a better fit for her. This self awareness and ability to take risks was due in part to her experience attending and leaving a top BS. Good luck to you and your family!
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