<p>Pulsar15, we encourage posters to shield their identity: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/427714-if-youre-new-cc-please-read-before-posting.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/427714-if-youre-new-cc-please-read-before-posting.html</a>.</p>
<p>If you visit the parents’ forum, expect parents to share their opinions. If you look at the Chances forum, it’s exceedingly unlikely that so many students are able to walk on water. It also discourages those who lurk, but don’t post. I think it is useful to point out from time to time that accomplishments might be exaggerated by anonymous posters.</p>
<p>CC is not a local website about your town. The world is a big place and yes there can be many people who can walk on water. With a certain type of parents on our backs, heck we may even run on water. :D</p>
<p>I don’t know. Sure, people tend to stick to a certain perspective (why wouldn’t they? CC is but a small part of the average parent’s life); that doesn’t mean there isn’t value in their voices. Reading those various opinions side by side is what makes a discussion board useful in my book. As long as we respond respectfully, without attacking (which doesn’t always happen, but seems better than it used to be), does it really matter whether I begin to think like Exie, or D-yer is converted to D’Andrew’s opinion about the Ivy League?</p>
<p>What makes me uncomfortable enough to stop posting altogether is this notion of all these “real” discussions going on in pm. For me pm has been a place to reveal and receive information too personal for the board, not a place to judge who’s lying and who’s just “craving validation.” </p>
<p>In particular, I can see what Pulsar is up in arms about–how is any parent on this board going to evaluate whether a student’s credentials are real or not? While I agree with Periwinkle that it’s probably useful to point out, in a general way, from time to time, that some people may be exaggerating, bottom line is that we have no way of knowing one way or the other, and that the CC crew is a pretty select crew of kids, and I don’t see much reason to doubt their self-reported creds. It might make me wonder about grade inflation, or our give-everyone-a-prize mentality, but not the kids themselves.</p>
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<p>Really, that’s all that’s happening - nothing nefarious.</p>
<p>My point of saying that not all the “stats” are true was because other students and – on this thread – parents where starting to evaluate the strength of their own applications based on the high stats posted on the “Chance Me” section and feeling dejected. The comment would be true of any discussion board where anonymity rules.</p>
<p>This board does tend to create a environment where kids feel they have to keep up with the Jones. Those with lower stats but getting into to schools get accused of having hooks or taking “someone’s spot.” Certainly when many of us who gone through the BS process (as parents and students) try to promote the idea that stats aren’t everything and then it turns into a bruhaha about schools lowering their standards to let some unqualified kid in. </p>
<p>I can also understand why some people lurk and don’t post. Last year we saw our share of “my school is better than your school” playground fights among a few of the adults. </p>
<p>But mostly - PM’s are happening because there are real people, with real emotions, who need more than just a soundbite in terms of navigating through the process - even with the outcomes are good - without being subjected to scrutiny.</p>
<p>Like @DyerMaker said - when you have conversations with people using real emails, phone numbers and professional information, etc. then it breeds a certain level of confidence that people are who they say they are when posting information or advice here on the CC boards. </p>
<p>The bonus is, I’ve made some lifelong friends and reconnected with classmates as well.</p>
<p>I’ve wanted to say this for a long time. If we could put aside our differences on issues for a moment - on a forum like this, one individual has “one voice”, no more no less. When you keep saying “we those who have ‘lived though’…” “we who have been in it and therefore know stuff…”, and/or imply that there is a whole group of people who pm’ed (or maybe appealed?) you to represent them to express a certain opinion because for some reason they are intimidated to do so themselves, it’s frankly dishonesty. You may have said something someone else wanted to say but so has any other poster. You can’t say you represent a “defined group” because you just don’t.</p>
<p>I do want to say that while I lurked on the board for awhile I was always disappointed when people took a discussion that I was very interested in to PM. I felt at times bkz the posters felt it was controversial and didn’t want to take flak. I do think that this is to the detriment of the board when it happens in this way.</p>
<p>However, I do want to say that I have been pleasantly surprised at receiving PM’s with encouragement and great information that wasn’t solicited by me but was very helpful morale-wise as well as just plain helpful in understanding the whole BS process!</p>
<p>I also have no problem with seeing that people do have their opinions which often differ from mine. Although I felt some initial forbodings at disagreeing I have found that (so far) people have been welcoming of those opinions even if they disagree! So I’ve gotten bolder 
and I also have Pulsar as an example (if a teen can be outspoken surely I can).</p>
<p>Not controversial - but sometimes intensely personal. I haven’t found it hurt the discussions on CC. If anything it enhanced the trust as it allows people to put a real name and contact info behind the pseudonyms. For the most part the crux of the topics remained active on the public site. So I don’t think anything was missed.</p>
<p>Plus - kids are involved and/or sensitive family info. We can pretend school officials don’t look at this board, but frankly, I think some do. Even so - more concerning is not who is posting - but who is not - and what someone who lurks can glean from the details. Hence we warn people to limit what details they provide in the open for safety and privacy reasons.</p>
<p>P.S. @Flowers - Yeah! Continue to be bold and reach out! (PM or public) :)</p>