I should clarify. Macrons wife doesn’t say exactly when the relationship became sexual saying it would always be their secret, according to news reports. He refers to it as an affair by age 16 and she refuses his parents requests to stay away, noting they never filed charges against her
This thread has taken a turn that is making me wonder … When I was 19, I dated a 30yo. We dated for more than a year. I didn’t feel at all coerced or in any way abused. In fact, we’d be married today if I had taken him up on his offer. Was I too young to understand the “power” imbalance? Even at the time, I could see how he was more worldly than I was, which was part of his charm, of course, but in the end I broke it off because I wanted to have time to find myself and not become a part of his very settled life. I still don’t think there was anything wrong about our relationship, though the age difference did push the boundaries. This whole conversation has given me pause, however, because I look at Moore and think what a creep.
She. The governor is a woman, Kay Ivey.
As I said, I would wonder why someone my age (26/27) would want to date an 18/19 year old.
I talked to both of the males in my house and they said they wouldn’t date someone younger than probably 21/22 because it’s just too close to high school. They’re both 27 and both work/go to school with several younger women (late teens, early 20s) and just say there is too much of an experience and maturity gap.
Could it happen and it be fine? Sure. But in general, I would really want to know what you have in common with someone who has barely made it out of high school.
My ex-husband is 7 years older than me. We met when I was 21, approximately one month before I graduated from college, and got married when I was 23. The chronological age difference was not an issue; what did become an issue was that after a few years of marriage, and especially after our children were born, I exceeded him in maturity. That was unexpected and, for me, undesired. My parents were 9 years apart but seemed matched, psychologically, physically (until the final two or three years of my dad’s life), and intellectually. Most interesting to me is that my maternal grandparents were 8 years apart, my grandmother was the older spouse, and she and my grandfather were married when she was 32 (and divorced) and he was 24.
The reality for many people, though, is that many relationships begin based upon nothing more than physical attraction. Young people in particular are not necessarily searching for things they have in common.
If the males in your house were unattached, and found a girl that they found incredibly attractive and who even had some common interests, do you think they would never date someone younger than 21/22? My kids have many of the same interests that they did when they were younger, and when I was in college, so did I.
My grandparents were somewhere between 11 & 13 years apart (can’t remember exactly how much- pretty sure 12).
I don’t remember them but they were madly in love and devoted to each other until the week they died- 5 days apart- one of lung cancer, one of a broken heart.
But age gaps were more common in that time period due to various economic and social factors. Mostly that men were supposed to be economically stable before taking a wife- who wasn’t expected to do anything other than marry post-high school.
It’s one thing for a 32-year-old to be dating an 18- or 19-year-old, a young adult, and another for him to be dating a 16-year-old or (vomit) a 14-year-old. My thought about the Washington Post including the two women who were 18 and 19 was to show a pattern of him being interested in younger females than one would expect for a man of his age.
When we hear he dated older teenagers, coached a girls’ sports team, hung around at high school football games and the shopping mall where teenage girls hung out, then it looks more plausible that he preyed on the 14-year-old.
Yes, Cardinal, it’s the pattern that makes Moore more creepy. Clearly, there’s a disturbing pattern. The older ex and I each ended up marrying age-appropriate people. That relationship was an anomaly.
A long time ago when I was young I worked for a boarding school summer program. During the 6 week program, 3 men turned 30–the program director who was married with 2 young kids; a young doctor who had just finished his residency and was engaged to one of the other summer employees who had just graduated from college; and the program’s chaplain who was a bachelor and worked during the school year as the chaplain of another Episcopal boarding school.I remember being struck at the time by the fact that if nobody had told me they were all born within 6 weeks of each other, it never would have crossed my mind that they were.
The young doctor seemed so much younger than the others and his engagement to someone who was 9 years younger–she’d just turned 21–seemed not the least bit weird. He looked young and he acted young. I don’t quite know how to explain it, but he seemed very much like a student. I also suspect that he’d made very little effort to date until the end of his residency was in view. I suspect that, in terms of relationship experience, he was in the same place or even somewhat less experienced than his fiancee.
The program director seemed like he was exactly what I’d expect someone 30 to be. (Today, I wouldn’t say that, but at 21, 30 seemed positively middle aged.)
The chaplain seemed like a confirmed, life-long bachelor. If asked his age, I would have guessed 45. If he had tried to flirt with the doctor’s fiancee we all would have been nauseated. He would have seemed like the proverbial “dirty old man.”
My point is that not everyone matures at the same rate, physically, socially or intellectually.
I’m not defending Moore–14 is too young and the acts he is alleged to have committed are horrific. I’m only saying that not everyone who is 30 and dates someone a decade younger is despicable.
When I was young in a white, conservative milieu 40 years ago, it was normal for young male professionals (doctors, lawyers) up to about age 30 to marry an 18 year old girl pretty much as soon as she finished high school. The dating started earlier, when she was still at school. In theory, she got a financially stable life with social prestige, and didn’t even need to go to university. The guy (in theory!) got a compliant and innocent girl who would stay at home with the kids. Of course, in reality, all sorts of things often went wrong. Divorce and alcohol abuse were common.
In the Moore case, the serial chasing of 16 or 17 year olds is sleazy, even for those times. But the 14 year incident is utterly unacceptable, even for those times.
Roy Moore is the worst kind of Pharisee: outward displays of piousness to compensate for the fact that deep down he’s nothing more than a whitewashed tomb, filled with impurity, proclaiming “Thank God I’m not like this Democrat”.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
In addition to my earlier suggestions of topics to avoid on this thread, let’s move past anecdotes of friends/parents, etc. having a wonderful life together despite the difference in age. We’re not talking May/December romances here; it’s about the alleged abuse of an underage girl.
It’s never OK for an adult to get with a 14 year old. Period. It would be bad if he did it as a 19 year old, but 32? He’s a pedophile.
It was bad enough that he won the nomination - what kind of a messed up place is Alabama that someone like this is electable?
Alabama has a lot of outside enablers. Currently the Senate Judiciary Committee has nominated for lifetime federal judge in Alabama a 36 year old man who has had a law degree for only 3 years and has never tried a case.
If the US Senate votes along party lines, he will be in that position for life. The Bar associated has labeled him unqualified. He is a staunch NRA supporter.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/11/us/brett-talley-judge-senate.html
Somewhere I read that he says he didn’t know her (the 14 yr old) That should be easily verifiable and I am sure the media is all over that. I am not opposed to two consenting adults dating regardless of age differences. All the me too claims are doing a great job of illuminating issues but I will never support less than trust but verify.
Many of these claims I do think will stand up under scrutiny but I suspect some will be found not to be true. As despicable as some of the accused appear and may very well be they deserve the right to be protected from false claims .
I think it was telling that after the conservative news outlet played the interview no one on the panel jumped to his defense. They all pretty much said he is lying. That is quite telling for this news station and makes me think there are stories floating around that haven’t been published.
Well, I think many voters down there are inbetween a rock and a hard place. If they condemn Moore, they open themselves up to questions as to why they supported a presidential candidate that would barge in on the dressing room of a teenage beauty pageant.
According to the Washington Post:
“Corfman described her story consistently in six interviews with The Post. The Post confirmed that her mother attended a hearing at the courthouse in February 1979 through divorce records. Moore’s office was down the hall from the courtroom.”
On Twitter, women are sharing photos of themselves at age 14 and some of their typical activities then. Hashtags #MeAt14 and #NoMoore.