Has anyone posted this compelling PBS/Frontline show on teens transitioning? Its called “Growing up Trans” and is a powerful watch http://video.pbs.org/video/2365520005/
Jym, I reviewed that doc on Friday for a course that I’m revamping. I have very mixed feelings about the whole issue of gender non-conforming youth but I’m thrilled that there are options for children and families. The documentary was good though… whitewashed a lot of issues but it was still very good.
Puberty blockers are, IMO, one of the best things that’s ever happened to gender non-conforming youth. It’s amazing how far we’ve come in just the last decade.
Rommani,
I was wondering if they would have shared more than just the one guy at the end who seemed ambivalent about his decision…
There aren’t many youth that have transitioned yet and I think there is a real fear among Trans children advocates of sharing negative stories- now-adults who may regret their decision. However, I think their stories are just as important because it can better clarify which gender non-conforming children are actually going to want to transition when they’re adults. Understanding both success and failure is critical IMO.
Isaac has a pretty good piece here: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/health-science-technology/growing-up-trans/what-makes-you-your-gender/
That is the person who I was referencing who expressed mixed feelings.
Yup. I think the piece elaborates upon what he was discussing in the doc.
There was a part of the doc that I was just flabbergasted at- it was when John’s (??) dad was discussing divorcing his wife over their son’s trans identity while his son was at the table. I can’t imagine what kind of person puts that on their child. I mean, yes children are often the reason for divorces but to tell them that if they keep exploring this part of their identity that it’ll lead to the break-up of his parents… that’s just unimaginable to me that a parent would do that.
What an interesting idea. I love her tone of discovery and willingness to listen and use her fame to get other stories out there.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/caitlyn-jenner/the-journey-begins_b_7736160.html
Thanks for posting that link, saintfan; I just came here to do that myself! I’m glad to see that she plans to use this platform to tell the stories of other trans people, rather than simply blogging about her own life.
She seems to really recognize the privilege of her situation in having fame, money and a relatively supportive family and recognize that she is new to the larger social and political issues that others have been openly struggling with. However, I was touched by the query of, “I’m I doing this right?” I thought to myself, “Who am I to judge how you go through this?”
Well, lots of people have. Even on this thread. I doubt she has been able to completely insulate herself from all the criticism and “advice” people have been giving.
^^^^ exactly - and IS there a right way? Aren’t we all inventing it as we go to a degree?
An update on the car crash:
So - at fault - but merely of inattentive driving - not texting, DUI etc. Also has two lawsuits pending.
From the reconstruction video (since in the actual video you can’t see the moment of the crash or what happened before), it seems that there were three cars involved: a black car in front, stopped in the road (well before any light) to wait for something (to make a turn?), the white car driven by the woman who died stopped behind it, and Jenner driving behind the white car, and rear-ending it (causing it to veer into oncoming traffic) instead of stopping as well. It doesn’t appear from the reconstruction that Jenner had been tailgating the white car (although I don’t know how they know how far behind the white car Jenner had been driving), so it seems that she simply wasn’t paying close attention and saw the white car too late to stop in time. (I already knew she hadn’t been texting – in the published photo that supposedly showed her holding a phone, she was holding a cigarette.) Clearly she was negligent, but all the people on the Internet (not here) claiming that she was essentially a “murderer” – and using that as a reason to condemn her as a terrible person (and of course to condemn all trans women by proxy, because that’s how it always seems to work) – aren’t exactly justified. There’s a difference between not paying close attention and not being able to stop in time, and being “reckless” (consicously aware of the risk of what you’re doing, as when you’re texting or talking with a hand-held phone while driving), or driving while impaired, or a murderer.
I’ve been rear-ended more than once in heavy traffic (and once in a parking garage while sitting there waiting for the car in front of me to move), and have almost rear-ended people myself, and I suspect it happens a lot. Usually not with fatal consequences, fortunately.
So she’ll have to live with knowing what happened.
@DonnaL , I think what you’re touching on with Jenner’s accident being used to vilify all trans women really speaks to the experience of being a visible or known minority. Because you’re often the only one in the room (actual room, a training program, the public eye, etc) from your group, everything you do–good or bad–is often ascribed to that group, rather than you as a person.
I’ve always known that, being Jewish. But at least now, in the USA, it’s much worse with trans people, especially trans women.
Her blog entry showed up on Huff Post again and after reading it I went to her web site. I haven’t fully explored it yet but was truck with the cleanness of the site and the ease of finding resources. This page is prominently featured and I would think would be worth its weight in gold for people out there who don’t know where to turn for help and support. It struck me that it is exactly the kind of thing that a very visible spokesperson can bring to the table.
From the perspective of the forgotten person.
Like the woman who wrote this article, Kris Jenner must feel like her entire marriage was a sham. She was married to Bruce Jenner for what, 15 or so years. A huge chunk of her life. I feel sorry for her.
The one thing I dislike about the piece is the way she equates the pain of a straight woman whose husband transitions, to the pain of a child or teenager whose parent transitions. As in:
It’s not necessarily the same thing, at all. My son didn’t “lose” me in any way remotely comparable to death. We’re as close as we ever were (if not closer, given that I’m a happier and less irritable person), and I know he’s not the only child of a trans parent for whom that’s true. In fact, as someone who lost a parent to death at a young age, I find the comparison grossly offensive. Because guess what, I’m still here, and I’m still me.
There are, by the way, many resources for spouses of transitioners – both for those who want to try to stay together, and those who don’t – and have been for more than a decade. I’m surprised that the writer wasn’t able to find any support.
The only people who “lose” a family member are the ones who refuse to accept them for who they are and love them unconditionally. Obviously this is going to be a lot harder for people for whom this comes as a complete shock, but if they are in shock they haven’t been paying attention. I think most people who are transgender have been either quietly sending signs or desperately hoping those they love will notice and show some acceptance so they can make that first step.
Of course it would be devastating to a spouse, just as any secret someone has been keeping in a marriage would. But that doesn’t mean they have been keeping this secret maliciously. They have finally come to a place where they are more desperate to be their true self than they are afraid to reveal their secret.
I think it’s more complicated than reading signs you may not have known were there (or to look for) and a light going off, just accepting it. You think you know a person, you develop patterns of affection, trust, interaction over years, come to count on that…then find your understanding is inaccurate. There is then so much to newly learn and then adapt to. And for most folks, not much road map, even for simple questions. Look at how green we all were at the start of this thread. (And really, still are.)
Lots of things evolve in a marriage and the reasons are not always given, hinted, or close to clear.
I think we like to see ourselves as open. I think we like the easy images of happy families moving forward, together. If this comment is too close to some line, Donna, I apologize. I’m just questioning how we tend to compartmentalize some things. This is a re-adjustment for everyone involved. Not just Caitlin.