<p>No issues here since I don’t have much in the way of jewelry and I’m not offering up my diamond to anyone’s fiancee. No idea at this time what would happen to it, if I die, but not a major concern of mine. I enjoy it now. My kids will have to get their SO’s their own rings, and I’ll just ooh and ahh and admire.</p>
<p>I had a beautiful, good quality ring. Larger than I had expected, but was very glad for it when my husband lost his job with two little kids and I had to sell it.</p>
<p>My D’s boyfriend of a couple of years (whom we adore) told us that he had hoped to give her his paternal grandmother’s engagement ring. His mother had flung it back at his father in a fight when they were divorcing, but the mother decided to sue to get it back, won, and immediately sold the stones. I don’t think her son will ever speak to her again.</p>
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<p>Would these be the four C’s of diamond engagement rings:</p>
<p>Cartel
Cost
Conflict
Con</p>
<p>They are beautiful.</p>
<p>“A friend told me that an engagement ring (since it’s given before marriage) is always considered the property of the wife in a divorce, whereas jewelry given during the marriage is considered (in many states) to be a marital asset.”</p>
<p>I’m not a lawyer, so take this with grain of salt… In my state, unconditional gifts (e. g., a pearl necklace received as a Christmas gift) are usually not considered marital property, but an engagement ring, which comes with “strings attached” (conditional gift - I accept this ring as an indication that I will marry you) and could be given back to the giver.</p>
<p>Oh this a bad subject for me. I got a chipped .28 carat diamond with tiny stones around it and with arthritic bands for an engagement ring. The bands were so worn the stones were going to fall out. My dh didn’t even have the decency to have it remounted. I had to pay for it to be done. We had the money for the 1/2 carat solitare that I wanted. I was so upset but I sucked it up because I loved him. The worst part is that ring was suppose to have been given by his decease aunt. I found out that his uncle bought the ring from my mil for a song. It was from her first marriage that ended in divorce. My uncle didn’t even wait a week after his aunt’s burial before his new wife moved in with him. I was so hurt when I found out. I gave him the ring back after about 15 years because I could not stand wearing it with all that drama. I am still waiting on a ring and it has been another 10 years. </p>
<p>I say no to the ring and have him pick a new ring for his future bride.</p>
<p>Size does matter too. Let the bride decide. Some like them small and others like them so everyone can see them.</p>
<p>Does S’s GF have a Pinterest account? I have noticed that LOTS of young women contemplating marriage (and many who aren’t even in a relationship) have a “wedding” Pinterest board where they pin stuff they come across that they like – gowns, hairstyles, rings. If you or son or a friend or relative of S have a Pinterest account, it would be easy to start following GF’s pins and see if she has pinned any ring(s) she likes.</p>
<p>I guess I have to get in line with the shallow people…the size of the diamond matters to me and mine is very small - 1/3 carat. My dh surprised me with it. He was a college student and I was just out of school. Honestly, it looks more like a promise rings. We’ve been married fo 30 years and I never wear it. I wear my wedding ring, but not that. I would love to get a new ring, but I don’t want to deal with the subject. Instead, I look with envy at the gorgeous jewelry other women have.</p>
<p>We have a good life and I am very happy, but that little ring is a sore spot with me.</p>
<p>I’m shallow too, and am not into jewelry, but I wanted a certain kind of ring for an engagement ring, and I think I would have been unhappy if DH had picked something else. He just doesn’t do well picking things for me. They say that it’s the thought that counts, but not a lot of thought goes into his picking anything, which is why I prefer to do it.</p>
<p>I picked mine at one of those stores that just sell jewelry, china, silver and that sort of stuff. I can’t even remember the name of it. The diamonds were all registered and I’ve had mine independently evaluated since then. Really not worth much because it is way too small at a half carat to have much real value. They say it has to be a carat for that. But I picked it out, just looking with a friend. DH had said to pick some. I was given its "stats: and then when DH and I went really looking, I was able to pick the same stone (it was a loose gem) again! So I knew it was the one. DH thought it stuck out from the others too in its sparkle, and though he wanted something bigger for me, that was what I wanted. </p>
<p>Funny, how much I like that stone and ring, as I rarely wear jewelry other than my standard silver hoop earrings.</p>
<p>I picked my own ring out. H was in the hospital getting his wisdom teeth pulled and I walked around town waiting for him to come out of surgery. As I walked by a jewelry store window I saw the perfect ring! 
We still had one more year of college so he made payments for a year. It is just shy of a carat and is pear shaped. H upgraded it for our 15th wedding anniversary. I wear my new one but the old one is sitting in my jewelry box. I will give it to one of my Ds or hopefully one of their daughters. </p>
<p>My D1 had pointed out a picture of a ring in a magazine and her H took the pic to a jeweler and he custom made one that looks like the picture. D1 loves her ring. D2 is my fashionista who loves jewelry. She will definitely have opinions of what type of a ring she wants.</p>
<p>MY DH designed my engagement ring, it turned out horribly, the guy did not interpret it well, and he used gold that was too soft, karat too high, so stones were falling out. I had to reset the diamonds into a new ring. One other oddity was that DH was engaged before, had a nice diamond from the LA diamond market, his prior fiance gave the ring back and that became the main stone in my ring. I called it after her, Danielle’s diamond. A few years later he upgraded the center stone to be my very own, ‘hers’ sat in my jewelry box for 20 years. Too much other more important expenses to bother with it.</p>
<p>Sadly UPS lost my ring last year, shipping it from my jeweler and more sadly, I had not realized the increase in gold & diamond prices, it was under-insured. I had recently Danielle’s diamond set in a lovely necklace, DH & I’ve been married a long time, I don’t care where the diamond lived before and I view that as my current wedding ring. Still too many other places for money to be spent than to spend a lot on jewelry!</p>
<p>The worm and his g/f shopped rings last fall. He liked emerald, surrounded by diamonds. She wants center diamond. I know Zuckerberg gave his fianc</p>
<p>Emeralds are pretty soft. For now, probably not an issue. With children…perhaps not a great choice.</p>
<p>I married a poor student who couldn’t afford an engagement ring. I had very little cash myself, and bought simple gold bands for our wedding rings. For a couple years, whenever we passed a gumball machine in the grocery store, H would point to it and ask me to pick out the one I wanted.
My m-i-l had her grandmother’s diamond ring sitting in a drawer–she’d inherited for being the oldest granddaughter (her grandma had 8 sons, no daughters–interestingly, she was the daughter of the YOUNGEST son).
After H and I had been married for about 3 years, m-i-l told me she wanted to have the diamond reset and give it to me as the “engagement” ring that her S couldn’t afford. I was THRILLED to have her offer it to me, and extremely grateful. I also checked with her 3 daughters, to make sure they had no hard feelings. (One was already married and had been given her H’s grandmother’s wedding rings–she wasn’t even creeped out that the woman had committed suicide!)
M-i-l asked if I wanted to pick out the setting–or if I wanted her to do it. Since she lived in another state, I told her to go ahead and pick it out. She chose something “antique” looking that I was very happy with. I haven’t taken it off since I got it. It is not a big diamond–about 1/2 carat–but very nice looking. I never wished it was bigger. No thought of ever changing/upgrading. I love having a “family” ring with a story behind it.
I know a lot of younger couples with modest income (grad students, etc.) and they all seem to have very modest rings. No need to blow the budget. Non-diamond (created diamonds and colored stones) rings seem to be more popular, too. Who can tell what is real? I’d be perfectly happy with a fake diamond myself. But in any case, the man should ask what his fiancee-to-be prefers.</p>
<p>tiredalready, I’ve never had good luck getting the things I like from my H and we’ve been married 37 years. I just buy whatever I like and if you feel better that your H plays a part in it, get what you want and ask him to go to the store to pay for it. We need to empower ourselves.</p>
<p>I know this is likely a generational thing, but can’t you buy your own ring, tired already?</p>
<p>but romani, even though the cards are on the same account, it does matter whose credit card gets swiped at the register - if we are at Costco and Mr B sees something that he thinks I must have, he uses his card and vice versa 
I never liked the idea of a large stone (or any ring that would not fit inside my nitrile gloves, because I hate to take my jewelry off). I know a few young scientists who felt the same way about their rings, so instead of an “engagement” ring they got what is considered “anniversary” ring, and they are very happy. But then again, I’m talking about a bunch of nerds from SEA. YMMV.</p>
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<p>Who cares? They’re pretty! That’s like folks who say “Valentine’s Day is a scam of the greeting card industry.”. I still want to celebrate it!</p>
<p>I must admit that I don’t understand the idea of upgrading. Can one really be on her fifth engagement ring? The engagement ring is the one you wore when you became engaged. Any upgrades merely become a new diamond ring, a gift perhaps, that looks like an engagement ring… but it’s not actually your engagement ring.</p>
<p>What do you guys think of us helping out with D’s ring? Would it be bad? She is kind of shallow.</p>
<p>VillageMom - couples do renewal ceremony all the time, why not with a new ring and just skip the ceremony. I am on my third one. H could only afford a small jade ring for less than 100 when we got married.</p>