<p>Once children arrive, I think it is more likely that the both sets of grandparents would see each other on special events like birth of the child/children, special birthday parties, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, First Holy Communions, Confirmations, school plays, piano or dance recitals, sports championships, orchestra concerts, graduations, etc. </p>
<p>A trip a few thousand miles away may lessen this, though as it really is expensive to travel.</p>
<p>If they trade holidays back and forth between sets of grandparents, then maybe not so much then.</p>
<p>I’m sure everything will work out wonderfully, as the possibility of these events is so far into the future, and those celebrations will bring new joy!</p>
<p>Best wishes to the newlyweds! Happiness, good health, prosperity, joy, peace and blessings always to the new couple and to their families!</p>
<p>I feel for the op. I remember having my D bashed for something i posted about her wedding. It really changed the way I felt about a couple of posters. No more “likes” for you :)!</p>
<p>Having said that though…At my D’s wedding, the photographer was sent by a company the B&G hired. The number of photos he took was negotiated in advance. There was a set # of photos in each “package.” More photos, higher fee. So, when my D wanted to add one more photo, it turned into a 10 minute negotiation. The photographer had to contact the company and get permission to add one more and get the company’s approval of the fee.</p>
<p>I gather this is done to prevent people from buying the least expensive package and then negotiating with the individual photographer for more shots. </p>
<p>So, it is at least possible that having someone at the reception add a photo meant that another planned photo had to be deleted. </p>
<p>It’s also possible that the bride’s family was legitimately worried that if one group had the photographer take an extra photo, others would join in and do it too. I saw this happen at a birthday party for an elderly aunt. Her kids soon let everyone know that it was fine to ask the photographer to take photos, but if you did, you’d have to negotiate the fee directly with him–they weren’t paying for them. `</p>
<p>Totally agree jonri, it amazes me still how these wedding posts are so acrimonious. The op was venting and none of us know all that went on throughout this whole planning and executing this wedding. Of course there were good things that went on but seriously people… </p>
<p>Sorry I guess I’m grumpy today :)</p>
<p>Anyways I could be wrong but I thought the op was paying for the photographer, they certainly were paying for a lot of this wedding that if they wanted a family picture they certainly could have one and would have paid for it. For crying out loud they had to stop and buy the champagne for the toast. After flying from the opposite coast. </p>
<p>I have been following this thread with great interest and have picked up a few worthwhile pointers about planning for wedding photos which I hope to pass along to my DD who will be photographing a her first wedding in the near future.</p>
<p>I would venture a guess that the peculiarities of this wedding have less to do with the coast and more to do with the personality of the host/planner/organizer of the wedding. OP, you handled yourself much better than I would have under the circumstances. Much happiness to the new couple!</p>
<p>Not sure if the mass PM is real, or if it will contain any additional details about the photography, but please add me to the list.</p>
<p>I would love to be added to the mass PM, if you are writing one. I am hoping that someday our two darlings will marry great partners and would like to learn as much as possible to have a wonderful event.</p>
<p>The posts about wedding photography are very helpful. When my d1 was married 3 years ago, the photographer seemed to be the one in charge of the posed groupings. She handled it briskly and efficiently with her assistant. It didn’t occur to me to ask for particular groups other than the ones she specified (and now I hope it didn’t occur to anyone else!). This photographer was pleasant and professional, and I can’t imagine that she’d have refused anyone who asked for a photo that wasn’t on her original list of shots.</p>
<p>D2’s photographer is a bit more artist-y, so I don’t know how he’ll handle the posed groups. I’m grateful for the heads-up that some guests or family members may be overlooked by some photographers. Why anyone would specifically ask for a group NOT to be photographed is beyond me. I’ll add this to the list of details that I shouldn’t just trust to providence.</p>
<p>Blissful ignorance was my strategy when d1 was married, and it meant that I had a wonderful time on the day. I later became aware of things that had gone wrong with certain vendors, and that some folks might have found grounds for criticism. So I’ll have to be less ignorant this time around!</p>
<p>A friend of mine is a photographer, and she sometimes does weddings. Once she was told (ordered) by the MOB not to touch up the MOG in any photos. Every bag, sag, wrinkle and blemish was to remain. Now that’s hostility.</p>
<p>I am at the hairdresser where my future Dil her sister and mom had a blowout done the morning of our luncheon. I arranged it at their request. I told the person doing my s’s future mil that she was not to make her look better than me. But difference is, I was kidding ( and future mil is gorgeous)!</p>
<p>At the party it took a great deal of effort to get if all together ( the 2 families and extended family) for photos. We finally did and were in the process of getting some family photos when one of our neighbors, with whom we are not particularly close but invite out of courtesy and who showed up very late, tried to pull us out to take a photo with them. It was really rude and self focused. She is really pushy. She kep at it ( truth be to I could care less about hsvig a picture taken with them) but she kept pushing and tried to pull us out after every family shot. She wouldn’t quit til we finally took the picture. Are some people that clueless? Apparently so b</p>
<p>I seem to recall this happening at a wedding @zoosermom knew about…or perhaps I am thinking of the one where the bride refused to allow a mother/son picture of the two dancing because she was estranged from HER father? That was a weird one.</p>
<p>So sorry things weren’t as easy as you had hoped, OP.</p>
<p>We had 16 people at our house the week of S1’s wedding, all staying for free. These were all longtime friends and family and were happy to pitch in. (Or at least I didn’t hear complaints about it.) When MOB and FOB arrived, they pitched in and helped with cooking/preparations, too. DIL and her mom are very different people and they seem to have some sort of dance around each other so as not to push one another’s buttons. It resulted in MOB not being involved in a couple of things that (had I been MOB) I would have found upsetting.</p>
<p>We definitely plan to see MOB and FOB again! We all get along great and share similar views on life.</p>
<p>Well, I won’t have to worry about this next year, after all. The would-be groom just called off the engagement to my niece/goddaughter. Off to post in the say it here thread!!!</p>
<p>Ouch, sorry to hear that Youdon’tsay. I agree she is better off finding out now rather than later but that doesn’t make it any easier to live through at the moment. Also good it was not called off closer to the actual wedding time. </p>
<p>My nephew’s wedding was lovely. The photos were great, however there wasn’t a single one of me and only a couple from the back of dh or either kid. I’d have bought photos from the photographer if there had been any. When I planned photos for my wedding one thing I asked him to do was to make sure he got a photo of each table because I wanted pictures of everyone who was there. He did that and we also did a mass group photo. (We walked from one part of campus where we’d gotten married to the Faculty Club house for the reception all carrying balloons so it made for a very festive picture. I hadn’t planned that photo, but the photographer made us all stop at some scenic spot and got all of us together.) </p>
<p>Thanks, all. I have to say that the whole relationship was pretty sketch to me, but I was hoping it would work out, for her sake. I, of course, would never say it to her, but I think she dodged a real bullet on this one. Oh, well. I’m just sorry that she is sad about it. Her dad said she broke it off, not him, but she found out some stuff that proved it wasn’t ever going to work so I think she didn’t feel like she had an alternative. She’s mailing back the ring. But I still stand by the mean things I wrote in the other thread!!!</p>
<p>Good for her! I’m sure it’s very hard now (and you will be a comfort to her) but I don’t think it will take very long before she realizes that she is better off without him. </p>
<p>Youdon’tsay, it’s best to break it off when you’re young. You don’t want to be married to somebody for 30 years and find out it’s not going to work out. </p>
<p>Actually, after the 30 years it would get better because he’d be out from under the thumb of his mother and aunt, who control every aspect of his life, as they’d most likely be gone by then. And at 39, I don’t think she’s feeling so young, relatively. The story her dad tells is she broke it off because she learned that he had been lying to her about what he had told those women, leading them to believe that they weren’t going to be married just to appease them. How long was that charade to continue??? She thought she could help free him from their clutches. She was wrong.</p>
Off to post in the say it here thread!!!</p>