^But with the exception of a military draft no one makes you do those jobs.
That said, I actually liked dodgeball. I was one of those tiny kids who was expert at catching the ball.
^But with the exception of a military draft no one makes you do those jobs.
And we haven’t had a non volunteer armed forces in decades. The military is against it.
And anyone comparing disappointments where you are not forced to stand there while others gawk at you or those things which people CHOOSE to do like try out for plays and cut sport teams is missing the cruelty when one isn’t given a a choice and the humiliation is very public.
I got hit by dodgeballs enough times that hurt so much I cried, and then was humiliated. Absolutely loathed the game. I have no problem with games with winners and losers. I wasn’t a fan of Red Rover, but I don’t remember playing it very often. I was middling athletic. Pretty good at tetherball and four square. Okay at kickball. Totally inept at sports requiring hitting small balls with sticks or raquets. I don’t think we picked teams by best to worst athletes.
I’m having a lot of middle school and younger flashbacks. Ugh.
I was the school pariah, a person who was ALWAYS picked last. It wasn’t because I was bad at sports. I was fine – not very flexible, so poor at gymnastics, but I was by far the strongest girl in my grade, and could always make the 95th percentile in those silly yearly athletic competitions (not bad for someone with severe asthma). No I was picked last because I was unpopular, and I was unpopular because I was too smart and too quirky. For example, I never raised my hand (never, in k-12, did I once raise my hand, no exaggeration), and, if called on, I always knew the answer. I got an A on every test and never did homework. I read 1-2 books a day and could be found reading under a tree at recess. I wore gender neutral clothes. That kid of quirky. If dodge-ball was played, they did try to aim at me. Yet, I was pretty agile and could usually avoid it until only one or two students were left.
Did I benefit from being called on last for every sport, for being constantly called by sexualized obscenities that sound something like my first name, or by being beaten up by 4 or 5 larger students after school? Well, it didn’t help my mental health, but I probably am better equipped for a fist fight than most women from my suburban background. When traveling the world, I have been able to fight off several attempted sexual assaults with the skills I learned then.
Probably those of you who are saying you were picked last for sports teams, but it didn’t bother your self esteem – probably you WERE NOT systematically bullied the way I was. I had to plot every day a path to school that did not involve being attacked. I contemplated suicide every day. I was absent at least once a week, often twice I week, because I refused to go to school. I missed 1/3 of all school days, k-12. I didn’t raise my hand until graduate school.
So – do I have ANY of these scenarios in real life? The answer is no way. Even in basic military training (which I did, long story,) I have never never never had any threatening experiences like I did in grade school.
So if dodge ball is optional, should PE be optional? To take that a step further, should a grade school kid be able to quit school, like an adult can quit a job? Or does it make more sense to say kids aren’t adults, and grade schools shouldn’t attempt to be exact replicas of the real world? Learning to deal with adversity is valuable.
@roethlisburger I believe if a student is systematically harassed at school, he or she should have other options (e.g. cyber school, charter school, transfer to another school in district, etc.) At least a few lawsuits around where I live demonstrate that at least some judges believe the same.
@roethlisburger, I’m not sure how we got from thinking having kids choose their own teams for gym and to be required to play games that many find painful might not be such a good idea to doing away with PE altogether. As far as choosing teams, what’s wrong with the old counting off method?
Who really thinks Red Rover is the best way to teach skill and coordination? Let kids play these games at recess if they want to.
@roethlisburger I suppose you believe the law is too lenient on harassers. Why don’t you just overtly say what you mean, instead of using some buzzword that is supposed to trigger polemic political views. I have one client who was raped by several other boys in in his school bathroom when he was in 4th grade, after the bullying got out of hand. Was that boy what you consider a “special snowflake”?
This is really stunning. I would say this teacher is a bully (and also an idiot).
Please, no bullying on CC! I know you have a point in mind @roethlisburger, but it’s coming across as really mean.
Actually they changed the balls. We all remember the red rubber ball that hurt like a sob. The new balls are soft nerf type balls. They are painless. Biggest issue now is turning an ankle.
I’m playing to win. How am I going to get into the Youth Sports Hall of Fame if I have to play everybody?
@yourmomma I suggest you add a smiley face to your post or someone might take you seriously! 
You read that poster’s description of her school experience and THIS is your take away?
Oh. My. God.
On the other hand, a substantial percentage of the nation is apparently fine with publicly mocking a disabled reporter. This is very illuminating to me.
Are you suggesting that there is no way to conduct a grade school phys ed class without allowing bullying? If that were true, then I would say that PE should not be optional; it should be abolished. However, PE can certainly be conducted without bullying.
@roethlisburger, do you mean to be standing up for bullies getting together in groups of four or five to beat up an unpopular kid? It sounds like that’s what you’re saying, but I can’t imagine that’s what you actually believe.
@roethlisburger I am glad for you that you were not tormented during elementary school and middle school. You are fortunate.
I also wish I had not been a “snowflake”. We moved to the suburbs when I was nine and I was chased home from school regularly being called “city kid”. That became my name for years. . Every single gym class for 6 years I had to stand on the sideline KNOWING I would be the last kid chosen and hearing the other team laugh at the one stuck with me. In middle school having strands of hair pulled out by the person behind me on the bus or choosing to walk three miles to avoid it. “Choosing not to participate” in playground games as another poster suggested because as she said the pecking order is the price you pay to participate.
I had friends in my city school. I was happy there. And functioned well there even though I’d been orally raped from the age of four. My rapist did not do the damage to me that my peers did.
Children at that age are not snowflakes. The damages caused to their spirits and self perception is REAL.
Kids who report being bullied usually suffer more for doing so. Being put into cyber school in today’s world means that the victim is removed and not the bully- rescued perhaps but being made to feel that something is wrong with them.
One deeper more philosophical underpinning of these arguments is that there are competing beliefs about the role of childhood.
Some people believe childhood is a time to learn the hard realities of life and thus prepare for them. To toughen up, get some grit, and emerge ready to compete and win in a cruel, unforgiving world.
Other people believe that childhood is a time to be insulated from the hard realities of life and thus thrive and prepare in a nurturing, “incubating” atmosphere. To explore, grow, and experiment before being thrown into the cruel, unforgiving world (maybe even to change it).
(And of course most people lie somewhere in the middle–these are just the poles.)
I’m not sure these philosophies can be reconciled, to be honest.
@marvin100 I think the point being made is that there are some things that children are forced to bear that adults do not and would not put up with. An example is a child being beaten up by 3 or 4 other children. When that happens to a child, some adults consider it just a normal part of childhood. When it happens to an adult, we call it assault, and it is reported to the police.
If my children ever came home with black eyes and bruises to their bodies from neighborhood bullies, I would not have said “oh that is just part of childhood.” I would have called the police, and filed a report. And the perpetrators, if found guilty, would have potentially been designated as juvenile delinquents. (I have had clients who have been incarcerated over such incidents – it does happen.)
The other thing to keep in mind is that any child who is allowed to be harassed day in and day out, creates a risk for the entire school, given our society’s current access to guns. When I was a bullied child, I had access to multiple guns. On days when I was particularly threatened, the thought DID cross my mind to bring a gun with me to school for protection. My life would have been very different, had I brought one. But we should all be very careful to NEVER allow our children to get away with bullying and harassing another, if, for no other reason, than for their own protection.
Now maybe the original posters are just focusing on issues like choosing sports teams. In my post, I tried to point out that, while it may be humiliating to be last chosen in the sports, as a bullied child it is really the least of your worries. Scary times are before/after school, in the halls, in the cafeteria, and in the bathroom. see https://www.delawareonline.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/04/13/verdict-delaware-teen-fatal-school-bathroom-fight/100415104/
Do any of you really think it is OK for some children to be too afraid to go to the bathroom? How is that like normal life?
Yeah, I wasn’t talking about explicit, violent bullying. That’s unequivocally wrong, and anyone who defends or condones it is also wrong, in my opinion. Harassment, bullying, and violence have no place in society, for adults or children or anyone.
Some kids could be very cruel since they generally don’t yet know how to conceal their “fangs/sharp tongues” and they often have extraordinary ability to isolate and shun kids who are somewhat different/quirky. I remembered the days when my kid was shunned by his classmates and how painful it made us feel. I have been sheltering my kid with love and compassion.
Life is tough, there is no need to rush into the “real” world when kids are yet to learn how to protect themselves.