Thinking of College As a Parent of a Seventh Grade Girl

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Hi all.</p>

<p>My daughter is in the gifted program in a very good public school. She’s in honors English and in Algebra I. </p>

<p>She received a very high B (because of a C on her final first semester) in Algebra, and I was told that colleges will consider that. I had no idea. (She received a C on the final because she ran out of time. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand. This is something that I would appreciate advice on too.)</p>

<p>Right now she has all As and 1 B in science, and we’re working on that B together. It seems very different now than it did when I was my daughter’s age. Everything seems so much more important at an earlier age.</p>

<p>I really hope that she has so many choices and opportunities when she is in her senior year in high school, and I’m seeking some advice. We have a history of generations of women in our family who have been very intelligent but misdirected or discouraged, either by teachers or by family members. I want to stop that cycle.</p>

<p>This summer, she’s going to fun camp (acting), and I’m thinking that she might benefit from a Sylvan reading program to improve her reading skills. It takes her about 3 weeks to get through a 300-page novel. Not only that, I think her comprehension skills could be improved, and I think this also involves work on vocabulary improvement. </p>

<p>She has an algebra tutor that she adores that we’ll keep meeting with over the summer to get a head start on geometry next year, and I’m engaging a science tutor to help her achieve the A and the understanding she needs in science for this year. </p>

<p>However, I’m reluctant to have her continue with too much academia (other than what I’ve described) over the summer. She’s still a kid. At the same time, I already see that after this summer all the parents whose kids are in the same classes have summer school mapped out, so that their kids can get all the classes they need to be in the best position for college admissions. It’s kind of crazy, but at the same time, I’m glad to be in the know.</p>

<p>I’d appreciate some thoughts, and it would be nice to know the source of those thoughts. Thank you! This is my first post.</p>

2

<p>Please relax and let your daughter do the same. Her 7th and 8th grade marks are not going to keep her out of med school, law school or any place else. A nervous breakdown will have an adverse impact on her though and if the kind of worrying and advance planning you’re speaking of now keeps up, the stress will hurt the girl.
I know you mean well, but it’s really not necessary at this point. The summer camp sounds great and if she can memorize lines, her reading skills are fine. I’m glad that you’re encouraging her interest in the arts- please continue that and remember that your daughter may choose a path different from that you may have anticipated. She sounds like a bright and talented girl!</p>

3

<p>My first word of advice: stop. Then relax. I don’t know if you (not your daughter) have school(s) picked out for her, but put these thoughts in the back burner. You have absolutely no idea who your daughter will want to study and more importantly who she become at 18.</p>

<p>My youngest graduated college last year. My kids are very different. They are working in their chosen fields. They are happy, most of the time. And they are pretty great people. Relax.</p>

4

<p>I agree with the previous posters that you need to relax and let your daughter have the breathing space to find her footing as a young teen. It’s too much pressure to expect all A’s all the time, for you or for her. </p>

<p>If she ran out of time on her math test and got a C, and if it takes her three weeks to read a 300-page book, then she is trying hard, but some things are difficult for her at the level of classes she is taking. It’s good to be challenged in school, but there are also limits to how much pressure is good for a 12- or 13-year-old. </p>

<p>It’s good that she has a math tutor that she likes, and I think she should continue with that as long as it is helpful. My D had a wonderful math tutor who was also her private violin teacher. My D had math tutoring in 6th-8th grades and then a little in 10th grade, not because she was getting bad grades, but just to help her maintain her B and to build up her confidence. She didn’t take math after junior year of high school, although she liked algebra II that year, because she was majoring in theater in college. Halfway through college she reverted to a childhood ideal and decided to become a doctor. She started college math, which she really liked, and she had wonderful math professors. She took three semesters of math, through calc I, and got As in all her math classes! So I am a big proponent of math tutoring if it helps. (And her 6th grade teacher told me that D didn’t need a math tutor!)</p>

<p>I think math tutoring and a reading program is a lot for the summer in addition to her theater camp. Just let her read on her own. She probably has a summer reading list for school as well. She needs some relaxation time too.</p>

5

<p>Your daughter sounds like a bright young lady. BUT she is an early TEEN bright young lady. It is veery possible that she would have finished the exams and gotten better grades if she had waited until she was a tad older to take these information filled courses. Yes, I know she is “gifted” and needs to be challenged. But at the same time, she should not become frustrated because she is unable to complete work that many students aren’t doing until they are 3 years older than she is.</p>

<p>To be honest…I would relax the academic expectation that she take accelerated courses right now. There are plenty of ways to enrich a gifted child’s skills without accelerated courses in school.</p>

6

<p>No one cares how she did in 7th grade math even if it is algebra 1. There is a possiblity though that it may appear on her high school transcript and/or that it will be figured into her high school GPA. That’s why you don’t want to push a kid too fast. Not everyone is ready for algebra in 7th grade. In our school system only a tiny handful are allowed to start it that early. Yes to fun camp. Yes to math tutoring if it’s helpful. As to the reading, I don’t think she needs tutoring - just find her stuff she likes to read - Twilight novels, romances, sci fi, fantasy - it really doesn’t matter. Both my kids got great SAT scores in reading because they spent lots of time reading junk.</p>

7

<p>Agree with the posters above, only I’m even more relaxed probably. RELAX. A ‘B’ in high school algebra is not a bad grade. (A high B, at that)</p>

<p>She should try her hardest, always be a bit challenged, get help when she needs it, be herself, enjoy her childhood and</p>

<p>let the chips fall where they may.</p>

<p>A ‘B’ is not a bad grade if it is your daughter’s best effort. </p>

<p>Personally, I would NOT take her out of accelerated courses because she made a high ‘B’ in Algebra. The child has all ‘As’ and one B in science. That’s GOOD. She’s being challenged, and IMO, she’s doing quite well. I think it’s crazy that we expect all kids in advanced classes to make straight ‘As’ in those classes.</p>

8

<p>Yes, please, please do relax and don’t let your daughter feel pressured. She’s probably picking up on your concerns about grades/college more than you realize. And Mathmom is right. No one cares how she did in 7th grade math. Or 8th grade, for that matter.</p>

9

<p>Oh, and I echo Mathmom’s bit about reading. Whatever she likes to read. It doesn’t much matter what it is - just READ. My girls read Harry Potter, Twilight, a ton of fantasy type books as well as Jane Eyre, Jane Austen, and Emily and Charlotte Bronte. They’re recently into some religious fiction like Francine Rivers. They all scored VERY high on SAT reading and writing, and one in particular scored VERY high in writing.</p>

10

<p>Gifted is nice, but if you don’t get a handle on the financial aspects of college, all the academic effort may be moot.</p>

<p>Let your daughter do fun stuff this summer and just be a kid. Work your own parental angst out by reading the Financial Aid Forum.</p>

<p>Your daughter’s career goals may surprise you, and not even require a four-year degree after all. Give her the opportunity to explore her options and experiment a bit with life.</p>

11

<br>

<br>

<p>True story! :)</p>

12

<p>There are several questions that go with the original post. I understand most people think 7th grade does not count but the answer is it DEPENDS.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Is this considered a high school class and will the class show up on the high school transcript?</p></li>
<li><p>Does the high school count the grades as part of GPA and rank?</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Theoretically speaking, even if the answer is yes to the first question, it does not matter even if the grade says 75 unless the answer to the second question is also “YES”. Not worrying about college at this point but just the fact that it might be considered in the GPA/rank equation should be good enough to evaluate whether it is a good idea to be doing these classes in middle school. </p>

<p>My kids’ school district carries the classes and grades on the transcript in high school but they don’t add to GPA or rank. However, we have several school districts around here and I know kids who were impacted on their high school rank based on what they took in middle school.</p>

13

<p>It worries me that you are being told that colleges will be interested in her 7thgd math scores.
This indicates to me that
(1) they are not considering that the work she does before admittance to college, will indicate readiness much more than work done five years previous.
(2) That they think college admission should be at the front of a middle school parents mind.
Rather than you know- baby adolescent issues. ;)</p>

<p>My D took the SAT in 7th gd and participated in a couple CTY programs but she didn’t even mention them on college applications- she didnt need to.
Work done as an older teen is always going to supercede work done as a young teen.</p>

<p>The more emphasis you put on precocious ability, the higher the bar of expectations for high school work.</p>

<p>Let her be a well rounded kid. Since students don’t often have time to pursue all of their
interests during the school year, let her use summer for this.</p>

14

<p>

</p>

<p>In some school systems, grades in high school level courses such as algebra taken in middle school count toward the high school GPA. Although it is unlikely that any college in its right mind would give any significant weight to the individual grades in these courses, those grades do have some small impact on the student’s GPA and class rank, and colleges do care about those things.</p>

<p>A friend of my son’s, whose older sister had been a high school valedictorian and who hoped to follow in her footsteps, was very disappointed when he got a B in Spanish in 7th grade. Because Spanish is a high-school-level course, that B counted toward his high school GPA. In our school system, it is unthinkable that anyone who ever got a B could be valedictorian. He had blown his chances at this distinction at the age of 12. This is a very weird way to do things.</p>

15

<p>

</p>

<p>This is your gut talking to you. Listen to it.</p>

16

<p>I hate that somewhere along the way we seem to have lost sight of what’s really valuable on a day to day basis. Isn’t it better to be challenged, not bored, learning SO MUCH, being exposed to more mind expanding ideas and make a B - even if it means not being valedictorian than it is to take a class that’s one or two grade levels below your capability?</p>

<p>Is the point of middle school and high school to LEARN a lot of things, or is the point to make a 4.0?</p>

<p>I mean, if you can do both, great - but what is THE GOAL?</p>

<p>And I don’t mean that kids should be overloaded. As I said before, I think they should try thier hardest, always be a bit challenged, get help when they needs it, be themselves, enjoy their childhood and let the chips fall where they may.</p>

17

<p>OP…in your first sentence you say your daughter got a high B in algebra. Then you go in to say she has all As but a B in science. Which is it?</p>

<p>Regardless…having a B or even two or three is NOT going to make or break her future. </p>

<p>Seriously…it’s not.</p>

18

<p>And perspective: I don’t doubt that your child is special. I am totally not being snarky. But to put college admission into perspective: There are thousands of high schools in the United States. EVERY school has: president, vice president, head cheerleader …and on and on… You could fill every top twenty university freshmen class 20 or 30 times over. </p>

<p>I am not saying that your daughter will disappoint you or that she will be disappointed. Let her find her way. There are so many things out of your and her control. </p>

<p>…oh, and the threat of something being on the permanent record…its not</p>

19

<p>I agree with the reassuring advice in general, however I think it is unfair that some (not all?) high schools count high school level classes taken in middle school grades in the GPA and understandable that it blindsides a lot of parents. I really don’t know why the schools don’t make this clear to parents and students ahead of time. </p>

<p>Putting that and all things college admissions aside, I’d keep in mind that there are students in honors programs who nevertheless have uneven strengths and weaknesses in their learning profile, and issues with processing certain types of information. The brighter the kid the longer they can compensate with areas of strength. Your description of the time it takes your D to read a book, or finish a math quiz despite knowing the material, makes me at least wonder if there is more going on. No, not every kid can or has to be straight A, but if there is an inconsistency in ability, I would at least ask the question. </p>

<p>Maybe it’s just the adjustment to middle school and the pressure of honors classes at a higher level, but if your gut instinct is that there is something more going on, I’d start out by pursuing an educational evaluation. Some districts won’t test or accomodate on their own unless a kid is functioning below grade level or failing, let alone a kid in an honors program. Of course, that doesn’t mean there isn’t an issue. Even if they do agree, school testing can take a school year to schedule and is often not as comprehensive. All a function of limited school budgets. </p>

<p>Again, not at all saying that any of this is the case with your D, but based on my own experiences, I thought I’d at least throw it out there. Many students belong in classes where their intellect is stimulated, yet qualify for accomodations such as extended time etc.</p>

20

<p>Roshke: completely agree with you.</p>