<p>
</p>
<p>???</p>
<p>One is either grown or a teen, but one can’t be both at the same time. Pretending otherwise is what leads to unreasonable expectations.</p>
<p>more mature teen at 17 than at 13.</p>
<p>Personally I think girl teens are crazier at 17 than 13. Soooo glad I’m past that danger point!</p>
<p>I agree with sunrise1. I often feel that my fellow teens are not held accountable as they once were. We have become a lot more lax. Even at this age, if I became willingly involved with drugs and alcohol, my mother would most assuredly hold me fully accountable. I know better, and if I were to unfortunately succumb to any pressure, I would hold myself responsible.</p>
<p>Of course the AO is not to blame–they don’t have the kid in the community until they come to the school. However, once there, I am sure, positive, the school had some idea of some troubles with this girl–these are very small, insular communities and almost nothing goes unnoticed. The shame is that, for the most part, these kids are asked to “make the right decisions” and being teens some will fail. How can some not? If you have kids in BS, talk to them honestly about cheating, drugs, sex, and other challenges of that age group–I doubt any school is immune, and it’s ALOT to navigate. I am sure there were some signs with girl that the school was aware of–maybe the school did all they could but maybe they didn’t -give this girl enough support to steer in the right direction.</p>
<p>I hesitate to wade in…but here I go. I know a little about the situation. Afrika’s friends apparently knew she had a hometown boyfriend. They did not know him, or anything about guns and drugs. They are heartbroken that they did not know to intervene, and would not have hesitated to report such a dangerous situation to adults at the school. If her friends who lived on the hall did not know, I am not sure how it could be expected that the school would know.</p>
<p>Her friends are also horrified that the reaction of some individuals has been that this occurrence reflects on other kids at the school from similar poor, urban environments. Afrika was a talented and capable student who lost her place at DA, nearly a year ago, because she could not follow the rules. Several students lose their place every year for similar infractions, these students come from a wide variety of backgrounds and it happens in every school with rigorous rules.</p>
<p>Posts on some of the newspaper websites have implied, as has been implied here, that the AOs should have known, and that they let in unqualified inappropriate kids just for the sake of diversity. Rebutting that bigoted belief appears to be part of the reason for the head of school’s letter. It is clearly unfair to the vast majority of well-qualified students from similar backgrounds who are dynamic, intelligent, successful contributors to the school community.</p>
<p>As a parent I was glad to hear directly from the school rapidly and completely. I would have been very unhappy to hear about it first from the newspaper or CC. I feel DA has acted very correctly under these sad circumstances.</p>
<p>Do you happen to know what the two disciplinary actions were about? Some BS students here on CC posted that in small BS communities it is very hard to hide anything. Do you believe teenagers can have a ‘code of silence’ to report on other students or unwilling to?</p>
<p>^ sunrise, the two offenses were a) cheating on a Spanish test and b) skipping school, claiming she had a dentist/doctor’s appointment when she indeed did not</p>
<p>huh, so i went on facebook and looked up afrika owes and guess what, i have friends in common with her so i can access her profile.</p>
<p>her wall has like a hundred wall posts from her friends sympathizing and wishing her well. none of them seem to be from deerfield.</p>
<p>and i suppose this isn’t really relevant to her being incarcerated but A) she has over 2500 facebook friends (wow) and B) her grammar is terrible. nO oNe OvEr ThE aGe oF eLeVeN ShOuLd TyPe LiKe DiS, eVeR …</p>
<p>regardless, she seems like a nice girl (and her interests include poetry, music, dance, reading!)…
imagine how different her life would be if she just stuck to those interests :(</p>
<p>Lol DiveAlive, how come you have friends in common with her ? Do you live in NY ? Or do you have friends who went to DA ? Just wondering…</p>
<p>@ swissbrit,</p>
<p>yep, friends from DA and SPS both had her as a friend, so that’s where the friends in common came from. prep school world is really, really small!</p>
<p>Yeah, I have a couple of friends at Groton, a friend at SPS, another friend at Emma Willard and a couple of the less known boarding schools. I have realized that many friends from prep schools seem to know each other. It’s interesting how the prep school world is very interconnected. It’s a shame none of my friends know Afrika, I would have liked to see posts on her profile. I don’t think she’s a criminal or a bad person. I just think she’s lost her way. Hopefully all will turn out okay.</p>
<p>…which is why you should check your FB settings to make sure it is friends only and not friends of friends. Webs grow quickly.</p>
<p>The Big 5 said:
</p>
<p>Right - but boarding school is the wrong place. Many kids like mine go there to “breathe” not be the source of education. It’s interesting that the problems we see with WBJ are predominantly coming from US students than international ones.</p>
<p>And even when the kids are “fine” we still have to deal with the parents when they’re on campus. It’s exhausting for the rest of us and the faculty. Look at his response to Alexzmom. It’s vile.</p>
<p>Would that we could take the child and not the parent baggage that comes with them.</p>
<p>BTW - hope to see you at Taft too. I simply love the place and there are a lot of alum from my school who chose to place their childen there. Now I know why.</p>
<p>Sunrise</p>
<p>Why bring up Congressman Rangel? What is the point of that. It just fuels the issue that this is about race. A lot of the drug running goons that are wealthy (the ones that don’t get newspaper articles written about them) are exposed to a number of members of Congress of their own race who have done everything from stealing, to “soliciting” to (you name it).</p>
<p>Please stay focused. This isn’t about whether someone did or did not set a standard. THis is about a young girl who was trying to break out of a cycle and got pulled back down by a predator. 99.9% of the kids in BS don’t fall for that. But we then indict an entire race/gender on the back of one who does.</p>
<p>It takes a lot of strength for any kid (white, black, latino, asian, etc.) to go to BS amid the wrath and jealousy of those they left behind. Now add that the predator is good at making her fall in love and “do anything” and if no one has a clue, there’s not chance of intervention.</p>
<p>Worse - think about it. Inmate calls are monitored. If they knew what she was saying to him on her phone, then it means they knew in advance of her arrest. If that is true, I’m betting they alerted DA to the problem.</p>
<p>Evaluate this case based on what is standard operating procedure and you’ll see there are gaps not explained in the article because the case hasn’t gone to trial.</p>
<p>But you can’t get cell phone records or monitor the calls without a warrant, now can you? And “academic dishonesty” is a great catch-all phrase.</p>
<p>Exie: point taken, especially about “homegrown” intolerance. I travel abroad regularly and have special Canadian clothing I wear.</p>
<p>And to another point: I agree that the more prevalent source of drugs is NOT the inner city scholarship kid; it’s the wealthy urban or urban-exposed kids who have an excess of money, are cocky that their place at these prestigious schools is assured, and for whom boarding school offers MORE supervision than they’re used to at home. This was what I saw firsthand.</p>
<p>And, Big5, because you seem to be an expert on drug traffic at prep schools, which of the snooty kids dealing drugs (which kids are no doubt plentiful) are or were packing heat with orders from the top mobsters of their gangs to blow the heads off rivals when the "sh-t " goes down? Once you point them out, I hope that you will be kind enough to help the authorites prepare criminal indictments similar to the one Cy Vance, Jr. laid on Afrika Owes. Thank you in advance for your service.</p>
<p>[Ivy</a> League drug bust - The Sun Chronicle Online - News](<a href=“http://www.thesunchronicle.com/articles/2010/12/09/news/8518700.txt]Ivy”>http://www.thesunchronicle.com/articles/2010/12/09/news/8518700.txt)</p>
<p>[AHS</a> grads plead guilty in drug-lab dorm case News Andover Townsman, Andover, MA](<a href=“http://www.andovertownsman.com/local/x740790404/AHS-grads-plead-guilty-in-drug-lab-dorm-case]AHS”>http://www.andovertownsman.com/local/x740790404/AHS-grads-plead-guilty-in-drug-lab-dorm-case)</p>
<p>[Student</a> Arrested After Drug Bust Yields Estimated $150K in Heroin | The Cornell Daily Sun](<a href=“http://www.cornellsun.com/section/news/content/2010/12/20/student-arrested-after-drug-bust-yields-150k-heroin]Student”>http://www.cornellsun.com/section/news/content/2010/12/20/student-arrested-after-drug-bust-yields-150k-heroin)</p>
<p>[News:</a> Dealing (With) Drugs at Elite Colleges - Inside Higher Ed](<a href=“http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2011/02/16/columbia_and_georgetown_drug_busts_don_t_faze_ivy_league_colleges]News:”>http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2011/02/16/columbia_and_georgetown_drug_busts_don_t_faze_ivy_league_colleges)</p>
<p>As far as I can tell, none of these students at elite colleges were black female students. They were all willing to deal in or manufacture illicit drugs. The Columbia students were business partners with some very nasty people.</p>
<p>@toombs: PAST personal experience, take it for what you will or won’t. Does observing repetitive behavior over the course of 3 years make one an “expert”? I’m not claiming that. I can’t tell just how deep your sarcasm runs…if you are implying the kids I’m talking about DON’T have connections to the sordid world of drug dealing outside the schools…well, that wasn’t my PAST experience. Unfortunately, they probably had lines into some DA offices, as well.</p>
<p>My crusade would aim toward education, not incarceration.</p>
<p>@Toombs,</p>
<p>The point is that one bad apple does not an indictment of a school or group of individuals. I thought Big5’s response was quite gracious and eloquent.</p>
<p>For the record, regardless of what you think about Big5’s “experience”, I know based on past and current experience that the biggest drug problems on BS campuses are the wealthy kids with a lot of cash and resources.</p>
<p>Some of whom come from families that make that girl’s experience look like small potatoes.</p>
<p>Point being - those kids withdraw or get expelled and you don’t ever get the real reason why. Right now you’re barking up the wrong tree and towards the low hanging “obvious” fruit.</p>