<p>That’s great news. It’s amazing how theraputic gardening can be. :)</p>
<p>Grief is a rollercoaster. I am glad that you had a restorative time in the garden. Best wishes.</p>
<p>Being outside and accomplishing something worthwhile are two excellent achievements!!</p>
<p>I’m so glad the gardening helped.</p>
<p>Couse I also had a hissy fit (what my grandmother called a crying jag) in Lowes tool section on Saturday. I made several men miserable for sure… a crying woman! I almost chuckle when I think about that.</p>
<p>One step at a time…one day at a time. You are making remarkable progress.
Sending more hugs…</p>
<p>Tool meltdown: I had something similar happen to me at a store, after I lost my parents. </p>
<pre><code>Glad you have a garden and daughters and pets. More hugs.
</code></pre>
<p>sistersunnie, I’m sending you hugs and best wishes.</p>
<p>No worries about having a melt down in Lowe’s. Maybe the men thought you were upset because so many Home Depot’s had to close, leaving you less options for tool shopping.</p>
<p>I’m glad you are able to be in the garden.
We had a hailstorm yesterday- that didn’t do much for the tomato plants…</p>
<p>Give the dogs some hugs from me. They know you’re sad and they really want to help.</p>
<p>Hi, friend,</p>
<p>Being out in the sun always is good for me, too. Lowes would, for sure, be a hard place to be. My dh had a spiritual connection to Sam’s Club, lol, and even now it is bittersweet to shop there. </p>
<p>Work would have been OK for me, except for the girls at home. I went back to work fulltime (critical care nurse) 3 weeks after dh died, worked full time for 6 weeks, then we all almost melted down and I went part time. </p>
<p>It sounds like work is good for you. </p>
<p>I just plowed through the thank yous. I found that I needed to get them out of the way. Do whatever suits you–there is no SHOULD. Most people will be amazed to even get a thank you from you-they are mostly thinking to themselves that they can’t imagine being able to go through what you are going through. Funny thing is…no one gets a choice. </p>
<p>I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is so very very hard. Hang in there. One day at a time, one step at a time, one breath at a time…</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
<p>Today is three weeks. I think its as hard if not harder. Your body has an incredible defense mechanism with shock, and then it wears off. I am planning social like things several times a week. I get up and go to work, come home and do the things on my list. Am getting by. Cry every day. This was such a horrid journey through the disease and we fought it together. I am used to battling through, its the solo part thats killing me.</p>
<p>sistersunnie, it sounds like you miss him a lot. The irony is that you’re so awfully sad that you’d like to have him near you to help you through the sadness.</p>
<p>I’m glad you’re doing social things, even though they may be small. It will help the days pass until you’re not so fragile.</p>
<p>sistersunnie, I don’t know if this is literally true, but it has seemed to me that during the crises of life–even a prolonged crisis like a terminal illness—something akin to adrenaline keeps me going. Afterward, the bottom falls out. And, if this is also true for you, it is worse now because some important components of your support system are not there for you right now.</p>
<p>You’ve heard this from others, I’m sure. There is no way around the pain, the process, the sadness. The only way is through it all. This is not to say that you must wear a hair shirt and weep all the time. The fact that you can find pieces of “normal” and maybe smile from time to time is a testament to your health and resilience.</p>
<p>Your posts convince me that you are a strong and admirable person who is not afraid to acknowledge and confront the the devastating effects of her loss. Keep going. You can do this.</p>
<p>Well said, mafool.</p>
<p>Another weekend done and under my belt. Weekdays are marginally better, I have to rise and be at the office, work keeps me busy, tires me out. Come home and tend to dogs, fix dinner, do a few things, try to unwind and sleep. Get up and do it all over again. But the cursed weekends lack that built in schedule. Too much time at home alone. I dont have the energy for much of anything that is social. I try to get out and around people daily, tho its not my first inclination. I really want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head… I dont. Spent as much time outside in the sunshine, worked myself sore, but man the yard looks good! Dogs walked much more than usual, hearing no complaints. In fact the old schnauzer and I have both lost weight. Had to tackle some paperwork, had to find the original insurance policy, etc. Seeing his signature and handwritten notes, nearly killed me. So I spent the night in tears. Finally just crawled in bed and did pull the covers over my head…</p>
<p>Thank you for checking in, sistersunnie. </p>
<p>I understand the power of the handwriting. My mother had perfect “Palmer Method” handwriting. A full year after her death, I received a letter from someone else of her generation who had learned and perfected the same style. Seeing the addressed envelope, I actually staggered backwards and felt my knees start to buckle. </p>
<p>You are very wise. Wise enough to force yourself to go out every day, and wise to allow yourself to pull the covers over your head and cry.</p>
<p>Please don’t feel alone. You’ve got dozens of friends in cyberspace beside you right now. Here’s a {{hug}} for your tears.</p>
<p>“You are very wise. Wise enough to force yourself to go out every day, and wise to allow yourself to pull the covers over your head and cry.”</p>
<p>I think so, too. And, look how much you have accomplished! We are impressed and so are the dogs…</p>
<p>Those darn dogs get me through many a hour these days… The young female schnauzer comes running whenever she hears me start crying and licks my face, she’s never done that before. The old setter sits by me and whines…and the old man schnauzer gets all gruff and starts howling…I can hear him now “stop with the water works woman!” They do make me laugh.</p>