<p>Just to be clear: I do not believe addiction is an excuse for anything. I believe that the addict is 100% responsible for thier behavior and MUST get the help they need. What I am saying is that nobody else can do anything for him unless HE decides he is not okay with how he is living and the consequences of his compulsive behavior.</p>
<p>Compulsive behavior is damaging in the extreme, be it workaholism, alcolism, drug addiction, sex addiction, gambling, anything. It effects everyone. I believe that someone who has bi-polar is responsible to take thier meds and get help, that a diabetic is responsible for monitoring thier carb intake, and that an addict is responsible for the consequences of thier behavior. There is every reason for him to be held accountable, and I am extremely glad to hear his wife is leaving and has another country to go to start over, as well. I hope she will find some privacy there and some time to heal from this horrifying situation she finds herself in.</p>
<p>OK…maybe I’m just not up on the latest ways of looking at a “victim” of compulsive behavior, but I just don’t see it as being comparable to someone who has diabetes. I believe we’re comparing (or maybe confusing?) a severe character flaw with a medical disease. How convenient to fall back on an addiction theory and to talk about the need for “treatment.” Makes it easier for us normal folks to have sympathy.
Well I don’t buy it. He’s rich. He’s famous. And he’s an arrogant you know what (starts with a “P”). That’s my diagnosis.</p>
<p>cool. I’m not seeing him as a “victim.” Actually, unless an addict, and type 2 diabetics have real eating issues, see themselves as responsible for creating thier own messes they won’t change. In fact, I don’t know why you would think a type 2 is a “victim,” when it is completely within thier control to eat better. Or a heart patient with a wieght issue, for that matter. However, I’m happy to hear your diagnosis. Thank you.</p>
<p>for some, sexual unfaithfulness is grounds for divorce. if he’s admitted his sexual unfaithfulness, a divorce may be on the horizon.</p>
<p>i have been thinking about mj and how it’s suspected that those around him may have enabled his behaviors. i hope that tw will change his ways…and be encouraged to do so my his family, friends, and supporters. this could be a life changing time for him …or…he can continue to go down a bad path with his life…it will be interesting to see if he can make positive changes… </p>
<p>this is becoming a huge story with no end in sight, eclipsing the jg saga…who’da thought??</p>
<p>Oldfort - I am with you. I just decided that I am not reading anymore on the internet, including this thread. At first I thought, what does it matter, but it does. Part of the problem with Tiger is the absolute adulation and attention he has received. I realized that the greatest comeuppance for him would be if we stopped paying attention. Unless you have been at a golf tournament, you can’t begin to imagine how much attention he received compared to other golfers. I remember being at one tournament, he was NOT in the lead, and the two groups following him (with the leader) had very few people following them. Once Tiger came by a hole, the crowd would leave that hole and march on to follow him to the next. </p>
<p>I have this unrealistic wish that when he returns that those following him would give him a day of silence. Sure, follow him if you’d like, but don’t cheer, don’t celebrate his every shot. The only thing this man has to fear is indifference. </p>
<p>Anyway, this is a sad chapter in sports. Nothing new, but disappointing nonetheless. I think of the good things that he has done - at one of his tournaments, kids and military were admitted free. Those young kids thought he was just awesome - now he is just one more celebrity with zero respect for women. </p>
<p>I also can’t help but wonder how many other wives of golfers are checking their cell phones. Let’s face it, most people can’t name more than two other current golfers. Most of them just aren’t known at all outside the world of golf fans. So their indiscretions would not even be newsworthy. </p>
<p>My last thought is this - I feel so sorry for Elin. I hope that whatever she decides, she finds a way to build a life for herself that reflects her strengths. She was said to be studying child psychology before she became a nanny - I hope she goes back to school, gets her doctorate and becomes accomplished in her own right. </p>
<p>So, Oldfort, there will be no more “views” for me. I want to contribute my silence to show my total disappointment in one man’s behavior.</p>
<p>I think he needed you to diagnose him years ago! And I do agree with your “diagnosis.”</p>
<p>I think that people like to pin these types of behavior on “addiction” because there is a biological component to addiction, whether that addiction be to drugs, gambling, or whatever. If the behavior can be blamed on biology, then all the better. I do think this is true, but I also think there is danger in excusing this behavior so lightly.</p>
<p>One implication of accepting the biological imperative aspect of addiction is that the hope for recovery is relatively small. Many, many addicts of all kinds, even if they receive treatment, return to their former behavior due to the biological nature of addiction. When medical science comes up with a drug to curb those impulses, there may be more hope, but right now, these types of things are viewed as more psychological than biological, and the treatments are relatively ineffective.</p>
<p>poetgirl…you’re right about the type 2…although I have a family member who was diagnosed without the typical diet and lifestyle factors. And she’s not hurting anyone with her disease. In any case, I just have a problem with folks always trying to boil down things to a “condition”. Sometimes people are just inconsiderate jerks.</p>
<p>workinprogress-- thanks for your post. Elin obviously comes from an accomplished family and I, too, hope she takes this as a starting point to make a new and empowering life for herself. </p>
<p>I seem to recall that Tiger’s father pretty much raised him to be a golf star. It’s not hard to imagine such an upbringing resulting in an ego that requires several mistresses to keep fed.</p>
<p>toneranger-- Just because someone is an addict doesn’t mean they aren’t inconsiderate jerks. Also, FWIW, I don’t in any way think addiction excuses this type of behavior. Addicts are responsible to get well. Many mental health issues require a patient to hit rock bottom… A diagnosis of narcissist is way worse than one of addiction, because an addict can actually get into recovery. There is even less hope a narcissist will get well. Still, regarldless of what TW’s problems are, the main thing is that his wife has chosen to get on with HER life, which means the kids will have at least one emotionally healthy parent, and for me that would be my main concern.</p>
<p>Agree with poetgirl, who clearly knows what she is talking about in the area of addiction/addictive behaviors. No one is using this as an excuse, but sexual addiction is very real and there are treatment facilities which specialize in this. If Tiger is a sexual addict (and we can not know this with any certainty at all just based on what we are hearing), he would be well-served by taking steps to get into a treatment and/or recovery program. There can be good progress made in these non-substance addiction areas. No one is forgiving him or giving him an out.</p>
<p>I didn’t lose respect for Hillary for not leaving Bill. It was an embarrassment, but I’m not sure she really cared what he was doing. She had her own agenda. He deviated from the script a little bit, but there was no particular reason to bust up the political partnership over it.</p>
<p>Has anyone ever been to a PGA tour event? The number of women in how shall we say,clothing designed to be intentionally provocative is astounding, and that’s just at the tournament itself! I can only imagine what the scene at the tournament hotels is like. </p>
<p>There are two tournaments in the DFW area annually and the number of men who go to “take in the view” probably rivals those there to watch the golf. I know of many former business associates who didn’t golf and couldn’t name 1/2 of the top players but who annually coughed up the big bucks for the VIP events, Pavilion passes etc simply to girl watch. The trail of beauties and groupies on the PGA tour is legendary yet has somehow managed to be kept on the down low until now.</p>
<p>I’m certainly not excusing Tiger’s behavior which is starting to sound reprehensible but at the same time have to wonder why it has taken so long for this to become news. I would not be surprised to see a spate of other golfers outed as well. I agree with the poster who said that other player’s wives are probably starting to look at phone records etc.</p>
<p>“One can’t deny the people who flock to clinicians’ doors looking for treatment for sexual addiction, however, no more than one can deny that people believe they are “addicted” to the Internet. What is both amazing and a little disturbing, however, is to see entire professional societies, such as the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health, spring up around a disorder that isn’t even officially recognized as such. And despite no clinical agreed-upon criteria for sex addiction, the Society estimates that 3 to 5% of Americans have it.”</p>
<p>Maybe we should start a professional society ourselves-- the Society for the Advancement of Virtual College Confidential Advising Health? I read the recent thread about being addicted to CC and I have to say that I’ve never seen so many in denial…</p>
<p>What is a sexual addict! That’s a dumb phrase. All men are sex addicts. All men would have sex with as many women as they could. It’s human biology.</p>
<p>eaDad, Jody Dean and the Morning Crew were discussing this issue this morning. Apparently, Tiger’s behavior (and probably other golfers’ as well) was well known in the insulated golf world. However, the sports writers didn’t disclose the behavior because they can’t afford to have their access to the golfers shut down. If they wanted to continue to get interviews for the magazines, journals, newspapers, etc., they couldn’t afford to alienate the most visible and powerful golfer in the world. And other golfers would follow suit if they believed that their own exploits could be exposed.</p>
<p>However, this time the tabloids got wind of Tiger’s behavior, and he cannot control them as he could the sports journalists.</p>
<p>Who knows, maybe the sports writers who knew about his doings enjoy being part of the “club” in much the same way the female groupies do. If they enjoy the perks of living in that world, it wouldn’t pay to tick off the very people who make your life possible.</p>
<p>DH is a golfer and he was discussing some of this with a friend who also plays last weekend. Apparently the player who introduced Elin and Tiger made a statement that he wished he had never introduced them. He also had some pretty harsh words for Tiger.</p>
<p>Classy, Mr. Payne. Would all men do that even if they were married and committed to one person? If they knew there could be devastating consequences to their families or careers?</p>
And I do agree with your “diagnosis.”</p>