I disagree. I think it depends on the family situation. I’m watching my boss’s kids struggle mightily with the two-house and no-home lifestyle. It’s heartbreaking. I’m not saying this is what’s in her mind, only that the kids may be a higher priority than her own romantic interests, and her perception of what’s best for the kids may not be the same as anyone else’s. Most of us don’t have multiple mansions at our disposal and a husband that could be away a lot of the time. The status quo might work for that lifestyle better than for those of us stuck actually living with the husband intimately and daily.</p>
<p>I’m with Zoosermom. I’ve seen too many situations where guys “get religion” after a divorce and all of sudden want to see their kids on a constant basis. I don’t know if this is spite or making up for lost time but it usually leads to a lot of shuttling back and forth and also horrible disputes about the holidays. I don’t think I would want to spend an important holiday without my dear small children and that’s what usually happens.</p>
<p>Threatening to fight for custody in this circumstance is likely just a legal ploy and predominantly about control and power mongering. Those poor kids, and that poor mom.</p>
<p>Shaking my head at Woods’ clearly poor choices in companions. When you sleep with a deadbeat, expect to be hit up for a contribution.</p>
<p>Also, this Tale of the Tiger is begining to look a bit like that of Dodgers baseball player Steve Garvey, another highly successful fellow with an all-American image and a gorgeous wife at home. Problem was, he kept swinging his bat for extra-bases while on the road. Didn’t he end up fathering multiple children by different paramours?</p>
<p>A favorite story. A friend of mine, who happened to be an attorney, served her husband with divorce papers. H said, “I will fight for custody, unless…” “Great,” she said. “You can have custody. This is a great chance for me to start over and get on with my life.” (bluff)…“NO, no, no,” he said. “Forget it. I’ll sign.”</p>
<p>So, a T-type maie? Rarely wants custody.</p>
<p>And, if the goal is what’s best for the KIDS? Then, how could him getting religion and wanting to spend time with them after the divorce be a bad thing. Certainly it will never happen as long as they are married. He isn’t going to change that much within the marriage…not over any considerable period of time…not without considerable help.</p>
I’ve also seen situations where the fathers really love their kids and the courts believe that the father’s presence is enormously important (which it is). Of course, the kids’ well-being comes first, but for some of us, our happiness requires daily contact with our young children and being involved in every aspect or decision of their upbringing. I’m not saying this is her situation, but I know that I couldn’t be happy in a co-parenting situation with an ex spouse. I’d, PERSONALLY, much rather stay married where I would be the primary parent and be totally free with access to my darlings, than have a court involved. That’s just me, and I’m not saying that Tiger would use his kids that way, but I know that my deal with him would be that I’d stay, let him live his life and in return he’d never, ever come between me and my kids.</p>
<p>Not only does she risk having to lose time with her children if she divorces, but she also risks having the children under his control/influence during the time he has them. If she stays in a “marriage-in-name-only,” then she is in charge of the children all the time. Doing things this way will bring a terrible emotional toll on her, but in her place that’s probably what I would do until the kids are a LOT older. </p>
<p>I don’t envy her. I’m glad that she seems to have strong family support.</p>
<p>I have never paid much attention to Tiger Woods, not being a golf fan, and I have not reat the 70+ pages of comments, but is it really possible that he was able to hide multiple affairs for years? None of the women talked? No reporter figured it out?</p>
<p>Not all rich folks put their kids in swiss boarding schools. Some actually LIKE being with their children.
I don’t know, I would go with the guilty remorseful (hopefully) husband in the spare bedroom and my kids around when I want them to be. With a father figure around. Tough choice though…would require lots of tolerance. But it probably would be where I would go until the kids were off to college.</p>
<p>There’s nothing in Elin Woods’ demeanor to suggest that she wouldn’t raise her own children. I know many millionaires who actually raise their kids.</p>
<p>My boss is a millionaire many times over. He nad his wife have joint custody and could have the kids in boarding school and raised by staff, but they are amazing people and are totally hands-on. The problem for their kids is that they have two involved parents, two appropriate houses to go to, but neither feels like home. Theirs is a situation that on paper should be perfect. Parents are friendly, tons of money, no real conflict, but the kids simply can’t adjust.</p>
That’s exactly what I’d do and if an agreement were reached between me and the husband in which I had what I wanted (kids), then the house wouldn’t be a war zone because we’d both have what we wanted and could present a content and companionable way of life for the kids.</p>
<p>For one second let’s all put ourselves in Elin’s shoes. TW fesses up all of the horrible details and swears on his soul that he realizes now the pain he caused, you have 2 children under the age of 3, and you truly love him. Do you walk? Do you say okay, let’s try?</p>
<p>She will get millions, thus money is not an issue. Go with the supposition he will be able to maintain his career, thus, custody issues will be a non-player. From a legal point, she is the full time parent with no baggage, his poor choice in judgement by abandoning his marriage. to have unprotected sex will come back to bite him. Especially if the new reports of a love child are true…it would show that he tossed his child aside for his own personal needs/desires. He may be able to keep her in the states, but I don’t see a judge saying that the kids would flip back and forth 50% to each, especially if he plays golf in the spring/summer/early fall in the states, and late fall/winter/and early spring overseas. Finally, she will be able to retain a high level divorce attorney, she is not going to get a straight out of collge, just passed the bar lawyer.</p>
<p>I do not see the children being sent to boarding schools, this is a woman who did not follow TW to every golf tournament so she could be with their children. I am sure they have a nanny or au paire, however, I think that she is a very hands on Mom. If she wasn’t, she’d would have been traveling with her entourage to every one of his tournaments and this scenario would have never happened.</p>
<p>Agree, but I read she bought a mansion back home. This fact tells me that she intent to spend sometimes abroad, if not during the school year, if the children do not attend a boarding school, then, during the summer. One does not buy a mansion to spend a couple of weeks during the year. Plus, pre-nuptial is not just about money. We dont know what else is in it, especially the post marriage one. And, divorces dont always ended up in court.</p>
<p>“That’s exactly what I’d do and if an agreement were reached between me and the husband in which I had what I wanted (kids), then the house wouldn’t be a war zone because we’d both have what we wanted and could present a content and companionable way of life for the kids.”</p>
<p>I wonder what the kids would be learning about intimacy, love, and marriage in such a household because at some point, the kids would become old enough to realize that Mom and Dad don’t have an intimate relationship. In Tiger’s case, the kids also would hear about his history.</p>
<p>What would the kids learn? Women are playtoys? All men mess around? Marriage is a sham?</p>
<p>And what if Elin fell in love or wanted more kids?</p>
<p>And for that matter, what if Tiger decided to divorce Elin and move on to a younger trophy wife? He will be a magnet for gold diggers and some may actually be smart enough to capture whatever exists of his heart. He probably will become vulnerable to this as he ages and starts losing competitions as well as his looks, etc.</p>
<p>Even Henry the VIII fell in love with much younger women…</p>
<p>And how will Elin deal with Tiger’s love children, who – given his obvious lack of self control and good sense – more than likely will come into the picture…?</p>
It may bite him, but unles something comes out about him being a bad parent, specifically, to his children, he’s not going to be cut off completely from the kids. That will not happen, which leaves Elin in the situation of having the kids out of her custody and control at least part of the time. She may not want that. I wouldn’t. And unless Tiger consents, she won’t be able to leave the country with the kids. Now, as his legal wife, she can do and live wherever she wants whenever she wants. That’s the choice I’d make.</p>
The kids are going to hear about that anyway. If the parents stayed together and were cordial, the kids would only know that they have both parents who love them and a stable homelife. That’s what the kids need.</p>
<p>The question is what Elin wants and what her priorities are. I know what I’d do in her situation, but she may want romantic love and partnership. That might necessitate a divorce.</p>
<p>I would imagine, at this point, T would do mostly anything to keep the divorce proceedings from going to court. He seems to want to avoid any media circus which is not about proclaiming him god of the links.</p>
<p>Well, I can only speak for myself. While I wished my parents had been able to stay happily married, I was immensely relieved to have an end to the constant conflict. Even in the absence of overt conflict, kids do pick up on the general tone of their parents’ relationship, and it can be very uncomfortable living with two people who no longer love each other.</p>
<p>If my parents had stayed married for our sake, we would have had a miserable childhood, and they wouldn’t have gone on to meet their next spouses, who turned out to be pefect matches. My parents have both been re-married for over 40 years. I’m so glad they didn’t miss out on that in some misguided attempt to patch together a faux marriage that we kids would have KNOWN was dysfunctional.</p>
<p>Again, every situation is a little different, but give kids some credit. They know the difference between happy, loving parents and the opposite.</p>
<p>“The kids are going to hear about that anyway. If the parents stayed together and were cordial, the kids would only know that they have both parents who love them and a stable homelife. That’s what the kids need.”</p>
<p>How cordial could anyone be if they knew that their husband had done what Tiger had done and probably still was doing it? More than likely, Tiger’s future exploits also will be in the media, and I for one doubt that he’s going to stop playing around. </p>
<p>My parents never divorced despite my dad’s unfaithfulness. They slept in different bedrooms and didn’t socialize together. They didn’t even talk to each other unless it was absolutely necessary. My mother thought she was doing my brother and me a favor by staying with Dad, but we disagreed then and I still disagree with what she did. Compared to Tiger’s family, we were lucky: Dad’s exploits weren’t covered by the media.</p>
<p>Look at the household the kids already are in. Depending on what one reads, either their mom slugged their dad with a golf club or she threw a phone at him and chipped his tooth. What a great atmosphere in which to grow up!</p>
It’s not about giving the kids credit or not, it’s about what the mother’s priorities are at this point. Also, a cordial but not loving home would be better for some kids than two homes, conflict, and disruption. There isn’t just one right way. Personally, I’m not a believer that having parents be “in love” is necessary for kids to be happy and well-adjusted. Parents who are responsible, mature and stable would be better in my view.</p>