<p>“I also want to state I am against parental notification…here’s my reason”</p>
<p>I support parental notification and here is my reason: the girl getting the abortion (in my state) can’t drive herself before age 17, so someone is driving her. Who? THe father who has an agenda that is not my daughter’s wellbeing. His mother who has the same agenda? Some other adult who doesn’t care about my kid? Not a statistical rarity. That girl needs follow-up medical care and who better to ensure that she gets it than her own parents.</p>
<p>bulletandpima, I’ve never heard of a class where a girl had to wear a maternity outfit for a day in public. While I can see why that might motivate a teenage girl not to get pregnant, it doesn’t seem to be very fair as a requirement. Taking care of the “baby” should be sufficient. What do boys have to do? I realize that boys can’t “get pregnant,” but they are certainly involved in the process. I’m really just surprised that requiring a teen wear maternity clothes is allowed.</p>
<p>My girls have a much younger and beloved brother, but both of them have always said that they don’t want kids for a very long as a result of seeing his babyhood and, especially, toddlerhood. They thought that period was exhausting.</p>
<p>They carry the baby around for the 3 days (that is in the health class for 10th grade). </p>
<p>For teen living I think there was 1 boy and he had to carry the egg around for 1 week…I am sure everyone knows that.</p>
<p>To zooser I completely understand your reasoning, it would be interesting to see a statistical study if children chose the same in parental notification states. IN Jersey when this was law, you couldn’t get your license until your 17 also, but I had alot of friend who were older so transportation would be moot.</p>
<p>In the interest of supporting choices, I offer this program. if you are in a state that hasn’t adopted these ordinances, please champion it. The women/girls who benefit from this are often those with the least resources of all and the most desperate - they wouldn’t otherwise arrive at the point of abandonment. After a few months of ME work, I would like to see this program expanded up to say 6 months of age, lives would be saved from terrible abuse.</p>
<p>I sure as heck wouldn’t sit back and say nothing, expecting an 18 yr old to have this all thought through. I have seen HORRIFIC decisions made by 18 yr olds; although they are legally adults, most are still very young and inexperienced.</p>
<p>Ive had two abortions ( early) I don’t think that anyof us can say * we would have been like this* if we hadn’t experienced that** just as we can’t say we would feel this way if we were living in Accra or if we were 6ft tall. ( unless we actually were)- however- I never think about them 30 years later except for threads like these. I actually think about getting my tonsils out when I was 7, more.</p>
<p>I can understand taht someone who was not comfortable with the decision in the first place, could later have regrets, but should someone who has a (elective) serious medical procedure that they can’t make up their minds about- parent a child?</p>
<p>My experience has been that babies are relatively easy- finding support to take care of a cute baby for a teen mom is available. Its when they are older and have more complicated needs and demands that its harder to know what to do & to get help.</p>
<p>I don’t believe a course like “teen living” is offered by our high school. I’m pretty sure that subject is covered in the mandatory health class and that all students are required to carry around a sack of flour to represent the baby. I’m not positive, but that is what I have been told.</p>
<p>For many girls, notifying their parents is more terrifying than having the baby. Our kids have obviously loving parents who care for them and want the best for them. That’s not true of every girl. Many have abusive or neglectful parents and few resources. If a girl can’t tell her parents that she’s pregnant and/or that she wants an abortion, there’s usually a reason for it.</p>
<p>I was always amused by the ideas behind the judicial consent for a minor, which must be contained in any parental notification statute. The judge must determine if the minor is mature enough to make her own decision. If not, the judge will decide for her. So what we’re basically saying is that if she’s mature, she can choose to have an abortion (these are the only girls who come to court), and if she’s not mature, she can have a baby!??? Kind of turns things on their ears, doesn’t it?</p>
<p>To those who say that there’s an emotional toll to abortion - yes, there may be, although I know for many women the toll is small. (This is particularly true of those I know who have gone on to have other children, who wouldn’t be here if the first had been born - because their lives would have been much different.) However, there’s an emotional and physical toll to pregnancy and childbirth, to giving one’s child up for adoption, and to raising a child. In this hypothetical situation, there are no “easy” answers and one size does not fit all.</p>
<p>When DD was born a friend said the smaller the child the smaller the problem. If I had my ds when I was 18 (btw dating DH then) I don’t think that at 30 I would be wise enough to handle teenage problems…I’m pretty sure I still am not wise enough :), but I was fortunate and never experienced being a teenage mom. </p>
<p>I stated earlier I would force them to go onto college and get grandparental rights, b/c my neighbor many yrs ago had that situation occur. Son was valedictorian and went onto Duke, but his parents made him come home every weekend and be with his son. The child lived with the mom, but b/c they went to an attorney they got rights and since they pd child support he had visitation rights, however, I do remember thinking he never had a college life b/c he was Dad every weekend…which is a great way to make him think twice again.</p>
<p>In all honesty I also tell my kids a pregnancy isn’t the worse case scenario, coming home and saying I am HIV is worse and that was how we addressed the whole subject.</p>
<p>Some people are just posting their thoughts on what they’d hope their daughter would do or their views in general. Remember the particular wording of the question, though: “If your daughter comes home one day and says she’s pregnant and she wants to keep the child, would you try to convince her otherwise?” If I were 18 and pregnant, I would probably get an abortion. If my child were 18 and pregnant and told me she wanted to keep the child, I would talk to her about her options, ask questions, see her thought process, and challenge her on the problems involved (as I would if she had decided something else). But I would not try to convince her to change her mind. It’s her decision to make, so as long as she’s made it carefully, it’s my place to be supportive, even if it’s not what I would have chosen.</p>
<p>The baby would be my grandchild. I would offer to provide childcare assistance, financial assistance, love, and emotional support. I would help both father and mother raise the child (if they wanted the help), and help them get their education and get on their feet financially, same as I would if they weren’t going to have a baby.</p>
<p>as both of my kids have decided never to become parents- I would be shocked so that if they came and said they were pregnant and wanted to raise the child- I would have a lot of questions</p>
<p>If my D came home at 18 and told me she was pregnant and planned to keep the baby, I would do the same thing several other posters have suggested and discuss her options with her. If she still she wanted to keep the baby, then I would help her as much as possible to finish school so that she would be able to have a future. She is my daughter, and her baby would be my grandchild, so of course that’s what I would do.</p>
<p>The thing is, I have discussed birth control with D on numerous occasions. Although she is only 15, she is in a fairly long-term relationship with a boy two years older than she is, so I do have that worry. I don’t believe they are at that level of intimacy yet, but there is always the chance that they may get there - and I want her to keep herself safe from pregnancy and disease. I realize that the purpose of the thread was to talk about what would you do if…, but I just think it’s so important that parents talk to their kids before it gets to that point. Having said that, I realize that sometimes that won’t make a difference. My neighbor told me that when her 19-year old daughter started seeing the same guy steadily, she took her to the doctor to get a prescription for the birth control pill although her daughter protested that she didn’t need it. She also provided her with several boxes of condoms and told her she’d better not come home pregnant. Well, one night her D did not come home. She eventually showed up in the late morning. She told her mom that she and her boyfriend had sex for the first time and did not use any protection. She panicked and made him take her to the emergency room so that she could get the morning after pill! So, what her mom told her did sink in, just not exactly in the way she would have hoped.</p>
<p>However this isn’t the stone age and 18 year olds dont raise children in our society and aren’t fit to. So the parents would help, will they? Is that legally binding? What if they can’t do it anymore for mental or health reasons if they are old or have their own jobs? I wouldn’t care about the boyfriend or husband of the 18 year old because there were dumb enough to get an 18 year old pregnant. They should have used morning-after if they knew when it happend. I think an 18 year old would most likely abort and should abort it because of obvious reasons. </p>
<p>And it’s not ■■■■■■■■ to say abortion. I’ll say it three times. Abortion. Abortion. ABORTION. It’s legal and it’s always going to be legal and I hope that there will always be safe resources for abortion and contraceptives so people can make the proper choice.
Oops, I am sure that may I offend some Papists too because they are against birth control too. Silly me.</p>
<p>The question was what would “I” do if my child was going to have a baby, not what other people should do. Legally binding or not, I’d take care of the baby, take care of my children, help them out. It’s not legally binding to support your kid through college, but I do that too.</p>