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<p>You misunderstand. There is nothing to set straight. POIH is paying the full cost for his D. That is what “full pay” means.</p>
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<p>It’s really not difficult. Parents should require it if they are cosigning. A 100K term insurance policy on an 18 year old is under $100 a year.</p>
<p>Life insurance covers one important but very small risk. Fortunately for all of us, none of my kids’ classmates have died, but some have dropped out, lost scholarships, flunked out, gotten expelled, changed majors, and gotten pregnant/married. And these were the honor students and NMFs that got into great schools. If you cosign, you’d do well to consider the debt yours, and that it’s a bonus if your student repays it. Really, all of the parents of the kids above thought they had model kids with bright futures - and I hope their futures are bright. But stuff happens, and misunderstandings or conflicts about money can create huge tensions in families.</p>
<p>@ParentOfIvyHope - My apology - somehow I mistook “full-pay” as “full-ride”. </p>
<p>@Consolation - Thank you for correcting. </p>
<p>I still standby my opinion that there are better options regardless what the future ROI will be if one has to spend 4x$55k for undergrad.</p>
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<p>I routinely attend a series of seminars at one of the top MBA schools in the country (one of those that gets the oohs and aahs) … I went there myself, have guest lectured there and am very familiar with many people who go / have gone there. I think you would be amazed, POIH, that there is a mix of people from elite u-grads and no-name u-grads and no one can really tell the difference. You seem to think there is magic elite-school dust. No. It’s the person. I agree elite schools offer tremendous opportunities that other schools might not, but the people at the no-name schools are not people who can’t find their behinds with both hands as you seem to think. There are a lot of smart people out there, from everywhere.</p>
<p>Dadwith2–</p>
<p>The problem with blanket statements like that is that it really does depend on the financial circumstances of the family</p>
<p>If you can afford full-pay as a fraction of your income, or had the foresight to see how high education costs would be inflated beyond CPI, then it is not a hardship. I think the cost question only comes into play in challenging financial situations, personally.</p>
<p>But, given the fact that the pace of college prices rising has so far outstripped rising income or costs of anything else in our culture, it is a really difficult puzzle many are facing, and even many who adequately saved for a reasonable escalation in pricing.</p>
<p>So, the debt question is the “big” question, imho.</p>
<p>However, OP’s son has not even APPLIED to college yet, and the likelihood of acceptance to the Ivies, for even the most stellar unhooked white upper-middle class student is pretty slim. I just think the question is more like a “fantasy” for OP, at this point.</p>
<p>But, heck, everyone gets to have their dreams.</p>
<p>The OP didn’t say what the son might major in (or perhaps that is somewhere in this thread; haven’t read it all). There are “elite” programs in many majors at schools not normally thought of as “elite.” For instance, the Design, Art, Architecture, and Planning school at university of Cincinnati is internationally known. There are many state schools that have top-drawer engineering or business colleges, or are noted for foreign language and other specialties.</p>
<p>In other words, it is not necessary to go to an “Ivy” to get a top-notch education and good connections. The advantage of these other schools is…they give money to deserving applicants.</p>
<p>And with 3 other children to educate, that should be close to the top of the OP’s list.</p>
<p>My S wasn’t accepted to MIT, even though I thought he might be a good candidate. Secretly, we were wondering what we would do if he WAS accepted…not qualifying for need aid, how could we justify spending all the college savings on one kid? (We too have 4 children.)</p>
<p>Paying 55 K a year , which is after tax, would be a very tough decision even for a family of making 150K+ , especially when they do not have assets to fall back on. The calculation will show they can afford and sure they can, it is just that much harder. This even becomes a harder issue when these kids get scholarship(merit) from another good school albeit not at the same level as IVY/MIT/Stanford and it becomes a gruelling decision.</p>
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<p>Yeah, and just think about what all these students might have accomplished if only they’d gone to Harker for high school. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>:D</p>
<p>POIH’s phrasing in the quote above reminds me of the Passover song “Dayenu”. For those of you unfamiliar with the lyrics, I leave that as an exercise for the reader.</p>
<p>^Right. I’m rolling my eyes too.</p>
<p>It must be a plot by the evil Ivies to cruelly limit the number of people who will be of service to humankind. :D</p>
<p>OP might not agree with the approach that my wife and I took with regard to this issue, though we think it is reasonable. Our son is still a couple of years away from applying, but is already interested in colleges and forming a list. So we told him that if he gets into his one “dream school,” which he has already specified (it has been unchanged for years), then we would do whatever is necessary to make his attendance possible. As for any other elite private universities, we will only support him if the cost, given whatever financial aid he is offered, is not significantly more than our state flagship. He understood this and accepted it.</p>
<p>Nothing wrong with having huge ambitions for your child: Supreme Court justice, Nobel prize winner, Wall street financier… I myself would like my kid to be happy and healthy. I remember how overjoyed I was when she was born. It never occurred to me in the hospital that she had to go to an Ivy, and we had to start working on that right away. Every once in a while I linger over the little photo album I keep of her pictures through the years, and I try to put her life into perspective. How awesome she is, and how magnificent. even though she is not straight A, doesn’t go to an Ivy, not a NMF, not top in her class. Where your kid goes to school matters so little in the end. What matters is that he or she grows up to be independent, strong, healthy, and caring. That can happen at State U just as much as at Elite U.</p>
<p>tptshorty,
I cannot agree with you more that “What matters is that he or she grows up to be independent, strong, healthy, and caring. That can happen at State U just as much as at Elite U.”
I also think that children (all humans, young and old) are different, and what makes one happy and content may as well make another miserable and discontent. Thus, the fit is key.
While some kids cannot stand the thought of attending an Ivy, others dream of it (my son is amongst them). While other dream of attending a ‘party school’, some cannot stand the notion of attending such school (my son amongst them). While some kids are okay with (or will even thrive) attending a competitive/cut throat school, some will be miserable in such learning environment (my son is amongst them).
In sum - know thyself (for the child) and know thy son (for the parents). It is all about the fit.</p>
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<p>Oh, GAG. You know what most graduates of Yale, MIT, etc. do with their lives? They go to work, they do a good job, they come home, they have friends and loved ones, and they go on to live perfectly ordinary, content lives. Which is FINE. They put their pants legs on one at a time just like everybody else. POIH, I don’t know where you get this notion that everyone at HYPSM goes on to cure cancer and everyone else just slogs along in a cubicle, but it’s not true. The vast majority of elite-school grads will go along and live pleasant, upper middle class lives and that’s it.</p>
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<p>Did I ever say that there are not smart people elsewhere? What I’ve been trying to convey that no one with 100% certainty can say that these smart people won’t have done better had they gone to the elite schools.</p>
<p>My opinion is everyone will perform better with better resources, peer group and opportunities. That’s why people who make it big after being high school drop out or from community colleges make sure their children don’t repeat it and send them to the best possible schools and colleges.</p>
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<p>And this whole thread is another Ma Nishtana situation.</p>
<p>Why is this thread different from all the other threads?</p>
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<p>No certainty…there ARE folks who would have done better NOT having attended an elite school. There are some VERY smart people who have not done well in college at all. There are some less than brilliant individuals who have distinguished themselves despite NOT having an elite education.</p>
<p>Going to an elite school is NO GUARANTEE of better success. I 100% agree with that.</p>
<p>So much emotion been expended here… Truth is the sampling size of CCers posting on this topic is so small as to not even be statistically relevant/meaningful to draw any conclusion on anything been debated, so…</p>
<p>This topic is flogged to death already… time for it to end.</p>
<p>I agree with oclement!</p>
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<p>I don’t think it is a very hard question. DD could have gone to OLIN, RICE, or USC for $150K less than MIT. Taking into account difference in her ability to get summer internship this could have reduced to $120K.</p>
<p>So at the end of 4 years I would have been $120K richer but what would have that bought me?</p>
<p>One less year of work towards my retirement. </p>
<p>So instead of working one more year I would have to live with the guilt that DD could have done much better in life had she gone to her choice of MIT/Princeton/Stanford.</p>
<p>May be it’s easier for some parent to live with such guilt or not even thinking of it as a guilt but for me it would have been a big thing.</p>
<p>So I don’t think that was a hard decision at all.</p>