Thank your Dad for being so generous and apologize for your outburst and go on and do what you need to do to finish your degree. Make your Dad proud of you by figuring why you got a C (which is not cool in grad school) and get an A the next time around.
Pizzagirl THANK YOU! That was so helpful.
snowdog, I totally respect your decision. it is hard not to get caught up in the USC lifestyle, but I’m sure your daughter will thank you, and will not have to post forums like I just did on here! haha
Well obviously I’m not a math major, lets put it that way. I’m in grad school for Public Relations. So… my mistake. Math never was my strong suit, oh well. And I am on spring break, so I am staying at my dad’s this whole week. I went to walgreens today and bought him a card, and gave him a homemade coupon book saying I would do any chores that he didn’t have time for this week. I told him in the card how much I appreciated him, and apologized. He forgives me. My dad really is a great person. I know a card and a coupon book isn’t a lot compared to what he has done for me, but I tried.
ClassicRockerDad, that sounds like a username my dad would have (my dad loves classic rock!) haha. But I appreciate your advice. It puts things in perspective, and makes me that much more motivated to, like you said, “aggressively pursue independence.” It is certainly time, at 24 years old. Thank you so much for your story.
happy1, I took your advice 
If he’s still supporting your brother at his age then I guess there’s absolutely no reason to panic. Try to do as he is saying, but don’t feel bad if you need to ask for more help temporarily in the future. You seem to at least have the desire to become independent, so he’s just trying to help you along. You are very lucky congrats on your upcoming graduation!
MY QUESTION IS WHEN DO YOU AS PARENTS STOP FUNDING YOUR CHILDREN FOR UNDERGRAD/GRAD SCHOOL? I think that is a topic?! Pretty sure? Ya. it is.
Thank you @choirsandstages ! I wasn’t trying to come here to discuss an irrelevant topic. I genuinely want to change and become better, especially because my graduate school days are coming to a close.
Well I can tell you that my parents have helped my sister and I way more than they probably should’ve throughout the years. They actually helped us with down payments for our houses, and my sister lives in San Francisco and I don’t think a year has gone by that they haven’t helped her with a few thousand dollars. We are in our late forties, btw. Lol. I don’t think there’s a definite answer to your question. I think we will be helping my daughter through at least her masters degree.
@choirsandstages you have generous parents, too! I think that because my dad was generous it makes me want to be successful that much more. But based on the comments from basically everyone else, it apparently isn’t the norm to fund for so long… idk. I think I would ask the question: if your parents wanted to help u out, would you let them?? I’m sure some people would say yes. I am trying to do the right thing.
I pay what the school (UG) lists as EFC, plus transportation to and from school, plus I host (i.e pay for) meals whenever I am physically with my child. I do not expect to pay anything more for grad school.
I received $0 from my parents in UG, and $0 in grad school, many years ago. I received $0 in “start-up” costs (car, apartment, etc.) when I graduated.
It is very scary. Please look on-line. I don’t know off-hand, but both credit unions (USC credit union in Tutor center, for example) and banks have courses on-line (or live) for learning how to budget.
When you budget, think about your values- if you value travel or going out, you should budget appropriately for that, then look at what you have left over for rent and act accordingly. A budget should not be punitive, it should support your lifestyle and anticipate those expenses so you can be free to enjoy them. A budget should give you control over your life and should support what YOU want to do. Remember to allocate “Family Allowance” from your Dad as a predictable income source. He wants you to enjoy your lifestyle, but also to become independent. You can do this by living into your values, and setting aside a portion to invest for your future.
You will do fine. Make an appointment at the credit union.
Aollie24,
I agree. Your dad sounds like a great person.
When my daughter smiles at me, nothing else matters.
So don’t worry too much.
The card and what you wrote was a very nice gesture.
Good for you! Gratitude goes a long way!
Sounds like his daughter is, too. Good job!
[Mod note: I agree that this is a question more directed at parents than it is really a question about graduate school,. So, OP, I moved it to the Parents forum not because you did anything wrong, but because I think you’ll reach the answering demographic you’re looking for here better. But I did leave a redirect link in the Graduate School forum, so visitors there will still see it.]
To answer your question about when do parents stop supporting their children financially - I think that depends enormously on the parents’ financial resources, values and philosophy about education, and their children’s resources. Some parents simply don’t have the resources to support their children much beyond age 18, and so they don’t pay for anything. Some parents are wealthy and feel it’s their job in life to get their children set up to succeed and so, like your dad, they greatly or wholly subsidize the cost of living for their children through grad school and into their first job. I would imagine most parents fall somewhere in the middle.
To answer your other question, on what that income means - Making $35,000 a month puts your dad in the very tip-top of earners - definitely 95th percentile, probably 98th percentile. By comparison, an annual income of $100,000 a year is about the 93rd percentile, and your dad makes 4 times that. Unless you are also in medical school it’s unlikely you’ll make that much, so it’s not great to use that income as a comparison.
What you should, instead, think of is what are average salaries in the field you are getting ready to enter and how will you manage costs with that? I will say that if you have a financially savvy father, you’ll probably be all right. Like most people you will have to learn how to manage your money. You’ll make mistakes, but you have your mom and dad to cushion any financial fall you make. And they’ll help you make smart decisions with your money (like how much rent to pay as a percentage of your income, whether or not to lease a car you can’t afford - which is probably why your dad was arguing with you at the leadership, how much to budget for groceries, etc.)
One thing you may want to try, though, is refusing substantial help from your dad from here on out and only taking small/emergency help. For example, I know some friends whose parents subsidize the cost of their apartments, so they live in swankier/more expensive apartments than they’d otherwise be able to afford. That’s not good, because it doesn’t really teach you how to budget your money - plus it sets you up for disappointment once you have to rent an apartment on your own and you see what you can really afford. So maybe get an apartment that is solely based upon your own income and pay it yourself to learn to manage your money. Things like that.
after they have graduated.
time to enter the real world where college graduates with advanced degrees are expected to support themselves.
@Aollie24 Consider yourself lucky to have fully funded undergraduate and graduate degrees. Congratulations on (soon) getting your masters. What are your degrees in, and what have you done thus far to line up a job when you graduate? That’s what your dad is pushing for - for you to line up a job, find yourself a place to live (and pay for yourself) and learn to live within your means (not his).
You can do it. But be prepared - it will be a long time before you be able to live as well as you have been. That’s not a bad thing. It sounds like your dad loves you very much. The next time you can spend some time with him, I would talk to him about these very things. Let him know your fears and ask for his advice.
To answer your one question - when do parents push their kids out of the nest? The answer is typically long before their masters degree.
So, have you lined up a job yet?
Aollie24,
When I read your initial post, I just wanted to encourage you to seek your independence. You are in a fortunate situation to have your family’s financial back up if you need it, and to graduate without any debt, you have been given a great start jumping into adulthood. Do you have a job? I think you said you will start working in 2 months after you graduate. I think once you have a job and start working, that will give you more confidence to transition into an independent lifestyle. There’s that great feeling of getting your first paycheck! Recognizing the need to not always depend on your dad is a great start to maturity on a whole other level, so kudos to you. Just keep listening to your inner voice that is really guiding you to do the right thing. We all have to transition into adulthood and your fears and feelings are very normal. Some of us have to do it earlier than others and some get to when they are ready. It sounds to me like you are realizing that you are ready.
You are closing a chapter in your life (college life) and starting a new chapter where you get to be the author of your next chapter of life. Yes it might be a little scary but exciting at the same time. Life experiences will help you figure things out, just keep moving toward them. Set goals to reach your independence. How do you want your independence to look a year from now? Your smart enough to seek the things you do not know and apply them to your life. You can do this AND you will be fine.
As far as your relationship with your father, one thing is for sure, you will always be his little girl. It doesn’t matter if your 3, 23, or 43, that will never change. I’ve been married for 26 years and have watched the special relationship my daughter has with her father, my hubby. Even in the ups and downs, love always wins. Just like yours, you found a way to make amends, apologize, set things right.
Funny thing - This is my first post on CC. I found your post while I was looking to see when USC admission notices go out because my 18yr old daughter applied to go there for Chem Eng. I signed up so I could reach out to you and give you some encouragement. Sorry for the long post, but thank you for reading it!
Our kids are both USC grads. Fortunately, don’t feel their heads were turned by being around uber-rich. They have been grounded and grateful. They don’t know how much we make, but know we are comfortable.