@austinmshauri, sure. I could have “afforded to quit.” But the point is that I didn’t. So I had a way out but I did not take it. And okay maybe i have posted about the same subject, but that is because it is the advice that I need right now. I can handle the rest of my life on my own. There is nothing wrong with seeking advice from people who have had more experience than I do. And if you have a problem with it, don’t read it.
@Pizzagirl yes. I had a lot of spending money. So yes with my salary I can cover that payment easily. It’s just not what I am used to.
@Themclos only this thread now.
Return my car? I’m sorry, but why would I do that? Do you know how expensive that is? I appreciate everyone who has supported me and tried to understand the life that I live, and the dad that I have. He LIKES being generous. But I picked up on the fact that he is sick of doing it. I really have no interest in going backwards, I want to move on. Perhaps what I can do differently soon is to cover more than what he asked for with car payments as soon as I get a job. I’m sorry but if I wanted to take my car back to the dealership, not only would my dad want to check me into an insane asylum, he would also have a gigantic fee, maybe even have legal action involved, and i would have no car.
And another example of how I am trying to change: today my dad printed out the options for class rings. He left a note for me saying “These USC rings are gorgeous. Which one do you want?” They range from (minimum) $550-3,000. I told him today I really appreciated it, but that I didn’t want one. For my bros graduation, we traveled to Europe and the Middle East for a few months. I instead showed him a $100 class ring I liked. Perfect? No. trying to change? yes.
@LucieTheLakie thank you. I am trying. 
@BHGrace if your daughter gets into USC, and it sounds like she will, I would be more than happy to give you all any advice I can! I know personally (and live close to) many SC students at Viterbi. Awesome program! 
And @MotherOfDragons, and everybody else, I want you to understand something. I might not be quite where I need to be, but I am trying. All I want is for my dad to be proud of me. I am here in my hometown of AZ for a week (where no, the cost of living is not that high), but my dad and I barely have any time to spend together. I just want to catch him up to speed about my grad school experiences, what I am worried about, etc. But I never get the time. EVER. That was why, to be honest, my parents split up. I think my dad tries to compensate for his lack of time by giving me things. But all I want is his time. That’s it. I’d take it all back for time with my family. They mean everything to me. Of course having nice things is great, being debt free is great. My family and I are all very close… but I think sometimes I need them more than they need me. Again, I’m learning. In the future, when I have a family of my own, I will put spending time together as a priority. And don’t get me wrong, my parents have been amazing. But between dealing with life or death situations as a doctor all day, and hearing about their daughter’s experiences at usc, which is more important? life or death situations, of course.
@SouthFloridaMom9 I agree! Thank you. And I have read all of the responses. I take them all to heart. I posted this with the realization that I would be judged. That people would have differing opinions, etc. But it was bothering me. And I wanted words of wisdom. So thank you to everyone.
Where did I say that you shouldn’t ask for advice? I wouldn’t be on this forum if I wasn’t interested in helping people.
You said you wanted “personal info. on what (your dad’s $400k) income means,” so I told you. It means you’ve had privileges, including a huge safety net, that most people your age don’t get. Part of being an adult is understanding that you have it better than most. Another part is realizing that if you don’t agree with what another adult says, you don’t get to get snippy. That attitude might work with your dad and at college, but it won’t fly once you’re in the workforce.
Did you read my advice about making a budget and living on only your income? If you want to be independent, find an apartment you can afford on just your salary. That may mean having roommates. Plan your shopping and nights out based on what you have left after utilities, car insurance, cell phone bill, and health insurance. Take your lunch to work to save money. Make sure to save some of your income and invest in a 401K. The way to show you’re independent from your parents is to live on what you earn and buy only what you can afford.
@austinmshauri I did see it. But assuming that other athletes were under more pressure than I was is an unfair assessment, in my opinion. Unless you were an athlete yourself, what do you know about it? Were you a romanian gymnast who had no other means of survival, so took the risk and trained under octavian bellu for a shot at the olympics? at the time, I wasn’t thinking about “the opportunity to quit if I wanted to.” I have always lived a high stress lifestyle with a lot of expectations from my family, my friends and myself. so being “snarky” is one thing. but legitimately defending oneself against unprecedented allegations is quite another.
And I will do that. I wanted advice, not judgement. Especially when I worked very hard as an athlete.
I could have walked away, but I liked being an athlete. I don’t regret my experience, or lessons learned for anything.
@Aollie24, Where did I accuse you of anything? GMT said you coasted through college as a full pay student and you replied that you didn’t because you were an athlete. I agreed with you that being an athlete is a lot of work, but being a full pay student athlete doesn’t carry the same stress as being an athlete on a scholarship. You didn’t quit, but the point is that you could any time you wanted. Just because you were oblivious to the fact that you could afford to quit while other student athletes can’t doesn’t lessen the privilege.
What do I know about it? I don’t have to be a Romanian gymnast to understand college athletics in the US. For someone who wants to change, you sure seem quick to pitch a fit whenever someone says something you don’t like. If you want to appear more mature, knock that off.
I challenge whether your dad is truly “sick of doing it”. If he was serious about wanting you to be independent, then he would not have signed a lease for a high end new car and asked you to pay only 100 bucks per month for the 5-year term of it-- that doesn’t signal his confidence in you. If it was a gift, then he wouldn’t have asked for you to pay for such a niggling sum each month.
I apologize for being so hard on you. You are brave to post this issue and expose yourself to judgement. But it’s really your dad who deserves the criticism. He did you no favors by sheltering you for so long. At 24, much poorer kids don’t have the self-doubt you have with your huge safety net under you. You will be fine. Exhale…
also, consider getting involved in some sort of charity work. regular giving is fine, but an investment of time is even better. that will help you cultivate a lifestyle of giving, generosity, and concern for the needs of others, it will loosen the grip of materialism and keeping up with the Joneses that seems to dominate the lives of many well-to-do people, it will ground you with a sense of perspective about the needs of so many in the world, and remind you of how blessed and fortunate you are.
Hi @Aollie24
I have read some but not all the posts.
Just wanted to say it might be nice to keep dad in the loop as you look for a job so he knows you are trying. Share your job search.
You can go online and find many basic budgets that will help you figure out how many things you need to have money for. Its a surprise to most of us when we start out. Its also a surprise to see where our money goes. There are some apps that track your spending that can help you.
Learning all this adult stuff is hard. Just sat down with one of my kids to find out she has credit card debt (boo) for medial expenses. I would help her out but she is also spending $$ on stupid stuff like cigarettes. If I pay her credit card bill as a nice gesture and a way for her to save $$ then she will not realize she needs to stop buying cigarettes. She works very hard and always has…but she needs to suffer with this. And I hate to waste money on interest and she knows better.
It is hard to be a parent,too.
I bet your dads money goes pretty fast. It sounds like he is supporting 4 separate adult lives.
So just start learning about money and budgets and get an app and figure out how much $$ you are actually spending now…no guessing. You can also go online and find a salary calculator that shows you what is left after taxes. A real eye opener.
@sax, the OP says she already has dozens of job offers:
OP, I understand “I’m trying”. What you need to understand is the words “I’m trying” mean nothing to me.
Like Yoda; do, or do not. There is no try.
I wish you well.
wow. 40 job offers. Congrats.
“@Pizzagirl yes. I had a lot of spending money. So yes with my salary I can cover that payment easily. It’s just not what I am used to.”
Ok. So this is the point where the rubber hits the road. You’ve had a lot of spending money. So think through how you could reduce it. Do you routinely get your nails done? Go to the movies? Get a daily latte without fail? Buy clothing (that you don’t strictly need)? Tally up what you ha e spent in these categories. How would you reduce it? You don’t need to tell us, but you have to be prepared that as you transition towards independence you will have less “goodies.” And that’s ok.