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<p>No, you and your narrow-minded views are wrong.</p>
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<p>Why should she when she could just date the black guy and not tell her parents?</p>
<p>Note: When did she ever mention she was white? :rolleyes:</p>
<p>I asked what ethnicity she was. it’d be interested to know. white, asian, hispanic?</p>
<p>I say sneak around your parent’s back and go out with him anyway. Are you in a college dorm? even better.</p>
<p>unless you live at home, just say “yea mom we broke up” and only hide him when parents visit. dont let your parents ruin your life.</p>
<p>i think u r just trying to tell urself that u had no option and u did the right thing…u want us to clear ur conscience…no, u did a wrong thing…and u don’t love that guy cause u would not have broken up…
so, go to your college and make ur dad pay for ur life…enjoy</p>
<p>those who don’t stand against racism are racists as well</p>
<p>hello, there are some people on here who need to grow the f up as well. it’s kind of disappointing that a forum which you expect (reasonably) is filled with smart, brilliant kids, future leaders of our generation, etc. is also filled with ignorant racists. or that these are actually the same people.</p>
<p>I’m sorry, but did someone on this board SERIOUSLY say, “interracial couples are wrong,” and tell the OP to “just date a white guy”???</p>
<p>What is wrong with you people?!?!</p>
<p>I cannot believe blatant racism and prejudice like that still exists in this day and age. That is absolutely disgusting.</p>
<p>It is true that you have choices, some benefit you in the long run and some in the short term. You are probably feeling trapped by your parents at this moment, and from your perspective they have all the power. It is unfortunate that they have put you in a no-win situation, and you will feel bad no matter what choice you make.</p>
<p>Having said that, their ultimatum can inspire you in the long run to arm yourself with information, knowledge and experience that will help you combat racism and prejudice. Allow yourself to get angry, and use that anger to make positive changes. You don’t have to become like them, nor do you have to lie or deceive them. Use their gift of an education to learn how to fight for pluralism and social justice, and to fight against narrow mindedness and racism.</p>
<p>omg i am really sorry to hear that. I say u meet ur bf in secret. Go to school far away and secretly tell your boyfriend to go to that same school. Yea, and then just live happily ever after. =D Just don’t let your parents find out!</p>
<p>But if you need a new boyfriend i am available <- wow wth</p>
<p>Im jk about that last part, but im truly sorry.</p>
<p>It’s crazy to think that type of stuff still goes on. Maybe I’m just blind to it because I’m black and also live around the California bay area where interracial couples seem pretty common. People are people, we are all of one species. You should try having a serious conversation with your parents about the topic. If you and your (ex)boyfriend really had something special, I don’t think it’s worth it to throw away over your parents’ racist views. I am a student and my parents fund my education and I realize how much harder things would be for me if that wasn’t the case so I definitely would continue to let them pay for it. Especially since your tuition is so high. I think an interesting thing would be to try to have an intelligent conversation with your parents about the history of racism and its effects on society. The foundation of the problem is your parents’ beliefs… so I think it would be a good idea to try to fix the problem instead of getting around it. Try to explain to them how unethical racism is. If that doesn’t work… have a long talk with your (ex)boyfriend and work something out. Discuss the matter and ask him if being with you is worth having to stay undercover.</p>
<p>pink_martini,</p>
<p>I think for the most part you are doing most of the prudent and self-sacrificial things (breaking off with the BF and letting him know the circumstances) that makes it easy on those around you. I don’t know if this gets serious that the BF would want your folks as inlaws.</p>
<p>I do think you need to do some things for yourself here as you are still hurting. First, most schools have a free (or at worst nominal charge) counseling service available. Use it to deal with your feelings.</p>
<p>Second, it appears that your folks’ issues with race seem to be stronger than their interest in your happiness, which is sad. You need to let them know that you are disappointed that their (misguided - they are likely to be thinking that interracial relationships only brings pain (false) and are trying to “help” you) issue with race is more important than their desire for your happiness. You should also let them know that you still love them (as it seems that you do - kudos to you - even imperfect family members need and deserve love) and you hope that they will think more about your happiness in the future. And then put as much distance as you can between you and them (both physical and emotional). They are trying to control you and you need distance to minimize that long arm reaching out to run your life. Let them come back to you and ask you for SUPPORTIVE involvement in your life when they are ready to do JUST that.</p>
<p>pink_martini,
Did your parents actually say they wanted you to break up with him because of his skin color or could there be another reason they don’t approve of him?</p>
<p>Also, have they met him?</p>
<p>there really are racist parents out there who believe these things, i’m sure meeting him won’t make them suddenly sympathetic. </p>
<p>pink_martini, your college education is important, far more important than any boyfriend. a degree is something you will have forever–a boyfriend, maybe, although unlikely. but i like what northstartmom said about your parents controlling your life through finances–that is really the last leash they have on you (same goes for any other parent dealing with a college-bound son or daughter). i am sorry you have to deal with this at a young age but do bear in mind that once you are in college, they have no control over who you date!</p>
<p>i recommend you go far away for college.</p>
<p>i disagree with sailesh6126 entirely. choosing a paid college education over a boyfriend because of her PARENTS’ racist beliefs does not ipso facto make her a racist, especially since um, THEY WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP. it makes her somebody who wants a college education. her circumstances do not allow her to have both without a lot of debt, maybe yours do and you’re lucky for that. regardless, the vast, vast majority of pre-college relationships end, anyway. if my parents told me to break up with my boyfriend otherwise they’d cut off my tuition money, i’d do it. it’s not because i don’t love him, but because i love my education more than any relationship.</p>
<p>edit: this might also make an interesting personal statement–growing up unbiased among two racists.</p>
<p>You are a decent and idealistic person. I can’t tell you what will come out of this, but your education is very important and you should not allow anyone to take it away from you. Afterall your parents may not be a racist. The society isn’t color blind yet and they may just don’t want you to experience endless hardship in the future. If your love will last, you will need more education not less.</p>
<p>I think everyone gave you the crapiest advise. First of all your parents, are
the first people to care about you in every way, they are concerned about things that you dont even know, your just thinking of the racial issue, which
of course is wrong on their part, but honestly you should’nt be getting too
involved with anyone at your age. You should be concentrating on your school and your dreams of why your going to college. It seems to me your
all wrapped up in this love thing…see him on a level that’s not overly involved, honestly I dont think you want to give up everything for him, your
parents, their money, their advise. I dont think this guy ,as nice as he is , will
give up everything for you right now. So come on , put this into perspective,
grow up, it’s about college and getting a education, and a good job and life,
there is plenty of time to fall in love and do the house with kids and bills and
all the responsibility that comes with it. Your parents have been watching you and your hopes and dreams and your dreams have become their dreams and it’s their job to guide you to help see these dreams become a reality, I think it was the seriousness that scared them , so lighten up. You seem like
you have your priorities a bit mixed up. Really I’m on your side , just trying
to give you some advise . I hope you take it the way it was meant…</p>
<p>Sorry not everyone gave you crappy advise, just read some good one’s so
sorry to those people who gave you good advise</p>
<p>Advice shouldn’t be unintelligible.</p>
<p>Racism sucks. It’s a phenotype no different than rolling your tongue, just more noticeable. </p>
<p>You should tell your parents that they’re wrong if it’s affecting you that much. Really, your parents suck, and you’ll need to stand up to them some time.</p>