<p>dmd…my D didn’t truly get investors, but found a way to make things work. People paid to see the show and she recouped her own investment, is what I meant. </p>
<p>However, while I don’t want to give away specifics which would make her identifiable, she did submit her original musical this year for something and it was selected and now, everything is being paid for by others to develop it and do a workshop staging using Broadway director and actors, etc.!</p>
<p>Soozie! How exciting! You must be thrilled to bits!</p>
<p>Soozie, I do see the difference, but I still would not mind being asked. As I said in my post, I would likely go see your D in a show, and pay for the privilege gladly, but am unlikely to be a “producer” for it. But I wouldn’t mind if she asked. And if some of the kids whom I’ve known for years should ask, or a niece or nephew, I just might give a donation. So why shouldn’t they ask? Just say no thanks, or not even that if you don’t want to give. The requests are so wildly distributed that they are not a personal appeal. </p>
<p>I have trouble with some of the pushy ones who come to the door (which is against the law here) and want me to sign some petition that I may not quite understand, and then donate to a cause I dont’ know. That has become an industry that I don’t care to support. </p>
<p>I get ever so many requests for money and donations that I don’t even remember them after i glance at them, if that, and put them in my rubbish bin.</p>
<p>As for Cutco knives, I really like mine. My kids sold them one summer. I really resented those sale tactics and refused to buy any from them, but they had a kit of demos they kept that I am now using. They really are neat knives, and I would buy some now.</p>
<p>I got the Cutco sales pitch from my S’s friend. He was just starting out and needed to do a first time demo. I have to say I kind of resented the hard sell, but I bought some and found they really are pretty good. The Bread knife is amazing, as is the cheese slicer and the small utility knives. Too expensive and I wouldn’t have bought them if it had been a stranger, but they have held up well after several years of hard service.</p>
<p>When I was a POOR (and I mean POOR) grad student…another student came to my door selling Cutco. I really didn’t have a lot of money but I felt sorry for the guy. I bought the soup ladle…as I was sick of getting new chrome ones about once a year…only to have them rust. I bought my Cutco ladle in 1976 for $15. I still have it…and it looks brand new 34 years later. So…when a friend’s son did the knife demo a few years ago, I had no problem buying those knives…which I happen to love too. If they last 34 years, I’ll will them to my kids!!</p>
<p>Back to the thread topic…we have received solicitations from both relatives and friends for “personal” things…we’ve been asked to help fund a private film production, a small one act play being taken to a festival, production of a music endeavor, a medical trip. Truthfully…I donated to some and didn’t to others…but I honestly didn’t mind being asked.</p>
<p>Yes, that bread knife is one of my favorites, as is the mid sized serrated knife that I use all of the time. I wish I had gotten the scissors and the paring knives that my neighbors did buy from my kids. They are truly the best I have seen, and are their favorites and they have expensive knives. The Cutco were truly a neighbor favor purchase that turned into their favorites. I would buy those knives from them if they would sell.</p>
<p>Thumper, we have to get together! Another Cutco fan! Who’d have guessed?</p>
<p>Of course, I wouldn’t be thrilled if my kids wanted to sell knives for their part time job…but at least it is a good product!</p>
<p>
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<p>every single high school band program in the county where I went to HS (a very wealthy county according to national statistics) goes out on a saturday in the fall with the goal of knocking on every single door in their district, asking for donations.</p>
<p>This seriously bugs me to no end. We get every girl scout cookie selling cutie pie (must buy 10 boxes from each because they talk), young dog walkers (never mind I gave birth to three perfectly good dog walkers), band trips to bowl games, chorus trips to europe, sports, charities… ugghhh!!!
We never allowed our boys to do this. When the wrapping paper campaign came to school, we wrote a check directly to the school. That’s what they really wanted, the kick-back. When their activities required fundraising, we bought all the tickets and considered it part of their participation fee. With S2’s EC that travels and had two very expensive trips over the last two years, we sought corporate funding, but I wouldn’t have asked my neighbors to dip into their pizza fund to pay for our trip.
I will say that it would be much easier to pass the buck with fundraising. We have five people on one income in an area of the country that is expensive to live. We make our choices and will not ask someone else to open their wallet.</p>
<p>I am not offended by any request for money. My grocery store asks me to donate to a cancer fund every time I buy groceries. I have club sports asking for spare change just outside the grocery store. I get tons of emails begging for money from large charities. At the beginning of the school year, I am flooded with requests from the band, orchestra, booster’s club, cheerleading, etc. </p>
<p>And personally I would rather donate to a kid or a parent I know (even vaguely) than a faceless organization. I am happy to send a child on a mission trip to Guatemala or to help someone go on a sports trip. I like supporting my local high school’s activities. At least, I know what the money is being used for. </p>
<p>And I know, without donations from people like me, club sports, bands, orchestra, chorus, fine arts programs would barely exist or not exist at all. And our community would be poorer for it.</p>
<p>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p>
<p>Elleneast: As someone who has long worked in the nonprofit sector, with much of that time in fundraising, I find the request made of your husband (which you describe in post #46) extremely inappropriate. </p>
<p>One should not solicit one’s vendors or contractors for personal gain – which is what that was, funding for a personal project. It was not for a recognized 501c3 nonprofit or even for a project conducted through a recognized nonprofit. (And I have no problem with anyone – even wealthy kids on sports teams – soliciting outside the store, with letters, or even on the phone if the cause is legitimate, i.e., if the money is received and accounted for by a recognized nonprofit. One can easily ignore those types of solicitations.) </p>
<p>But asking a vendor for money for a child’s personal project? It’s possible that this could even been seen as a conflict of interest in terms of Sarbanes-Oxley.</p>
<p>yorkyfan,
You are a good person. We live in an area where we get bombarded and we are doing good to cover our own students expenses. Yes, we have donated to neighbors kids who have gone on trips overseas, but it’s frustrating that the same families seem to make the rounds. I supposed because we do ‘give at the office’ monthly via paycheck auto debit to several organizations that have very personal meaning to us we don’t feel they are faceless. I can certainly see why you would feel differently. It is fortunate for the groups who benefit from your generosity.</p>
<p>My son’s EC does fundraising through corporate funding. It’s a harder sell, but the single donor payoff is much bigger. No child is ever denied participation due to lack of funds, or made to do fundraising. The coaches and mentors (I am one) know who these students are and ‘scholarships’ are quietly made for these students. The students never know who has given the funds, nor do the other students know who is receiving financial help.</p>
<p>Another yes vote for cutco products, sadly for all the up and comers, however, I don’t think there’s one cutco product I have not yet purchased from some college student or another…and it’s not like they are going to wear out. Next time I buy cutco, it will be from my grandchildren’s friends. ;)</p>
<p>It was out of line. I’d just hit the delete button and then forget about it.</p>
<p>It seems this thread is lumping together all fundraising…school groups, non-profits, etc. I have no problem with school groups and non-profit fundraising! However, that was not the nature of the OP’s anecdote. This was a young person asking others to just give money (no service or product in return) for her personal career growth project.</p>
<p>IMO, MommaJ, to “give in” to such a solicitation is to enable this type of practice. If this attempt at a shake-down is not successful, it is less likely to be used again. Do not encourage the latest in poor behavior!</p>
<p>(When I get phone calls at home from organizations soliciting subscriptions, donations, etc. I tell them that I never donate when approached that way – but that they *may *feel free to send me something in the mail, which I can consider – but have no obligation to respond to. I hate running for the phone only to be solicited. IMO it is an invasion of my home. (OK, separate rant) 
And yes, I have registered for the “do not call” list, but some organizations are exempt from that.)</p>
<p>Anyhow, re this different situation, I see it as akin to someone asking that you fund a kid’s **job search expenses **in a new city, etc. </p>
<p>IF this were someone close to you, and/or you had been encouraging her in her career,* perhaps *if the family mentioned she was trying this, you could ask if you could be of some help. (LOT of “ifs” there, but my point is that the overture would come from you in such a case.) But from what you say you barely know the girl, and her mom is not a close friend.</p>
<p>Hey, if she were really talented perhaps she *would *have an agent at this point. Were there showcases at her school for which she did not make the cut? Perhaps she is one of the many who simply will not make it in the field – she may have some talent, but not enough to rise above the many, many others competing for spots. So you may actually be doing her a favor to not enable this attempt.</p>
<p>What is the worst that will happen if you do not respond/contribute? You might never develop a closer friendship with the clueless, inappropriate mom? Where is the loss there?</p>
<p>If it will “bug” you to give in to this, then don’t do it!</p>
<p>And if you run into the mom, and are asked about it (which would be rude in itself!) you could simply say that you know a LOT of kids struggling to get going in their careers, and do not want to favor any one over others. That you are sure that these kids are capable of managing things for themselves. That your funding priority for this year is Haiti, the oil spill, whatever.</p>
<p>The difference between WANT and NEED is not well enough understood or appreciated. (another rant of mine!)</p>
<p>Just one opinion, of course.</p>
<p>
I was thinking the same thing yesterday when I read this. In the last few weeks my son has spent around $1500 traveling to opposite ends of the country (literally, the 3 companies he has interviewed with are as far East, West, and South of us as it is possible to be and not hit ocean) for interviews. He did a 2nd trip for one company (south) last week and has a 2nd for another in a couple of weeks (East again) and is hoping one of them results in a job. The money he had been saving for moving expenses (deposits etc) will pretty much be gone. Never thought of hitting up our friends and acquaintances! Where does one draw the line.</p>
<p>If I really wanted to contribute to something like this then fine. I would not feel obliged to at all. Honestly if the Mom was rude enough to ask why I would probably say “Because I don’t want to”! (well that’s what I would want to say anyway)</p>
<p>lamere - Thanks for your response.</p>
<p>Technically the request came from the son…but the father gave the kid access to our contact info.</p>