<p>Oooh, I wish we’d set up a betting pool on this.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update–and what a nice result.</p>
<p>Now, should I start a new thread to address the difficult inconvenience of 4 1/2 hours between the wedding and reception ???!! :)</p>
<p>That’s what bars are for. ;)</p>
<p>Notrichenough…can the 16 year old go THERE!!! hahaha</p>
<p>A movie? Two movies?</p>
<p>I can’t remember how long the gap and distance was between zooermom’s infamous nieces wedding ceremony and reception. I’m sure she’ll pop in and let you know (I hope so). I do remember it being an inconvenience.</p>
<p>I’m glad to hear the way things turned out, abasket. Did H give his sister the impression that you weren’t originally coming to the reception because of all the confusion over D being invited? In any case, I’m glad your H said you’d attend the whole thing - in my opinion, it’s the right thing to do, even if he isn’t particularly close to his sibling at this time. Not attending a major life event like this could ensure that would never change. </p>
<p>I agree that it is tough and so very inconvenient on out of towners to have such a big gap between ceremony and reception and that it should be avoided if at all possible. Just because it is a wedding, as host, the comfort of one’s guests remain a primary responsibility. At the very least, if there is an unavoidable gap, there should be refreshments at a home, a hospitality suite at the hotel, etc. Ideally, this should be a major consideration when choosing a reception venue.</p>
<p>How about a few rounds of miniature golf? You could have some nice photo ops if you’re all dressed up.</p>
<p>It’s not inconvenient for out-of-towners who are from far enough out of town to have taken a hotel room.</p>
<p>It’s just inconvenient for those traveling from an intermediate distance.
This is a routine issue in the bar mitzvah world. Service is in the morning; reception is often at night.</p>
<p>Are there some relatives–maybe even relatives you might actually like to see–who are coming from out of town and taking a hotel room? Perhaps you can chill with them in their hotel. Or if there are others who live closer to the ceremony or reception venue, perhaps they’ll let you hang out in one of their homes. That is the nice thing about a family event–you usually know quite a few of the other guests!</p>
<p>Our wedding (son and fiance) will be held in our backyard, and the reception will be immediately following in the bride’s family back yard a few miles away. You could call it a “progressive wedding.” :)</p>
<p>The B and G have included children. There won’t be many, but some of the 30-somethings do have little ones, and they didn’t want their parents to have to leave them home, as many are from out of state and will probably make the wedding a summer vacation with the family. We’re not providing sitters- just a lot of grandmas, aunts and uncles who enjoy kids. It may be a little zooey, but that’s life.</p>
<p>One of the reasons we choose the family homes is so we wouldn’t have to limit the guest list based on the capacity of the venue.</p>
<p>Oh, I’m sure there are things we CAN do - my moms isn’t far away. If I’m being honest , we aren’t very good at “wasting time”. - I want those 4 hours + used to do yard work or take care of errands, or do some painting, or exercising…4 hours is precious time! Plus the having to stay “dressed up” factor ( I’m probably abounding like a whiner , but really I’m not - I’m just a simple lady with a simple family that likes everyday quiet life and doesn’t need the fancier events and thrills). </p>
<p>Thanks for the good wishes all!!</p>
<p>That all makes sense, abasket. We’re having my D’s wedding and reception at the same place; no time in between. I wouldn’t like killing time in nice clothes, either! So go ahead and whine! :)</p>
<p>abasket, I totally get it. We were invited to a morning wedding in Queens (hour drive) and a dinner reception. I couldn’t figure out what the heck I was supposed to do for the five to six hour time span. We had an early evening wedding and then walked across campus to the faculty club for the reception. Very easy. :)</p>
<p>The majority of evening bar mitzvahs we’ve attended have followed a mincha evening service. We’ve been invited to a number that had morning services - fortunately we were local and that was no big deal. They are certainly not convenient for out of town driving guests though, and no more considerate to those people for being popular. At their worst they send the message that the style of the party is more important than who is able to attend.</p>
<p>I also think it encourages some people to not attend the wedding and to just go to the reception. Though oddly, we’d prefer it the other way around!!!</p>
<p>I don’t think I’ve ever been to a single wedding in the 100+ I’ve attended where there was that large of a gap between the ceremony and the reception. It’s bad enough having to wait for the wedding part after the ceremony, posing for photos, IMO. Look for some movie theaters in the area. Better find out if there will be a lot of chow at that reception so you can gauge what you eat during that time gap.</p>
<p>I would lay down the law about underage drinking. If someone deliberately breaches the policy anyways, that’s one thing, but when you are “wink, winking” about the whole thing and making it clear to everyone that it’s fine with you, and some kids drink too much and slip away in a vehicle, and there is an accident…well, I know of a few cases, not at weddings but at events, homes where this happened, and god forbid if the host was abetting the situation or was aware of it. Reasonable measures are supposed to be taken by adult to enforce the legal drinking age </p>
<p>And I am writing the above as one who thinks the age should be lowered to 18. But having been around teens and young adults now for nearly 20 years with my own kids, I can tell you that some of them will take things way to far, when they see the opportunity, and don’t have an ounce of common sense. If your stance is such that you are not going by the law and something terrible happens, you will be in ever so much trouble. My kids, their friends, and everyone that come around here is made very clear that the under 21 rule is in force under my watch, and I don’t support any sneaking around it.</p>
<p>Cptofthehouse, you must not go to catholic weddings in the Midwest much lol! Sadly most of the weddings I’ve been to have a big gap between the wedding and reception. </p>
<p>Abasket, glad to hear how it all worked out. Especially glad that your SIL called and cares enough to want you to attend. Sounds like a good omen. </p>
<p>What we usually find when we attend these types of weddings with a big gap is that we find people we haven’t seen in a long time and someone will suggest something fun to do. My favorite was the wedding in wine country and we went wine tasting. But then we were all adults, but I felt bad for the pregnant/driver lady lol! </p>
<p>Don’t know if it’s in a big city or small town but maybe there is a local attraction that you haven’t been to in a long time or wish to explore. </p>
<p>And yea we hate to waste a whole weekend day to this but afterwards we are happy we went because we get to see people we don’t usually see.</p>
<p>You are correct Deb922 - this is a Midwest Catholic wedding! The reception is in the downriver Detroit area - my guess is we’ll all pack a duffle of comfy clothes, either go hang out at my moms for a few hours or find a park to walk or something like that. We’ll survive. :)</p>
<p>Been to over 30, just off the top of my head, running down the true Midwest weddings, and even more if you consider western PA the midwest, a lot more. And many of them Catholic. And not a one with even a scheduled gap. The reception is right after the wedding, though the official festivities do not begin until the bridal party arrives from the photo shoot and there were a few receptions where the venue was some distance from the church. But still with the millions of weddings that occur each year, i don’t regard myself any kind of expert. Just commenting that it is a whole new thought to me that there could be a large toe, gap between wedding and reception. Can’t say I feel bad missing that feature in a wedding.</p>
<p>Agree with deb…I’ve been to a number of weddings where the ceremony was in the morning, and the reception in the evening. Not just in the Midwest!</p>