I haven’t listened to this podcast, but I hear it is excellent. It is a podcast about a mother’s relationship with her trans girl. http://www.howtobeagirlpodcast.com/
@mom2twogirls One of things that is particularly difficult is when my parents have friends or know people who are Christian. My mom searches for stuff like “transgender wrong”, “transgender delusion”, “sex change regret”, etc or of articles published by Christian news sources. Peer pressure sometimes gives a lot of influence. =/
There ARE Christian churches that are Open and Affirming, so don’t assume these messages speak for all Christians.
I think for many parents who are accepting the announcement seems very sudden to them. While you may have been thinking about this for years or all your life, they may have seen no signs that you felt misgendered. I hope your parents will come around, but not all parents will. In that case it may be best to rock the boat as little as possible while you still need financial support and then when you are able to support yourself find new family. Good luck.
@Trixy34 My mom did go through articles of stuff like “sex change regret”, which are mostly articles published by very right wing sources. Regrets are very rare, otherwise I think we would have a loads of people and groups set up lobbying or testifying. I could also understand a parent’s concern about whether it’s a phase (prefrontal cortex is still developing at least until the age of 25) though. Waiting for longer is kind of like torture because of all the negative effects of testosterone that are affecting the brain and the rest of the body, contributing to more and more dysphoria, depression, and significant energy that could be used for studying, concentrating, working, or just life in general.
On the issue of clothing, I think having a parent help someone who is transgender buy women’s clothes for her eases the transition process when she’s already totally missed out of a female puberty, grow out hair, and just blend in with the rest of society. (Learning how to correctly pick and wear a bra, for example.) I wouldn’t want to pick my own clothes and look like a drag queen. I think it would get me a lot of stares.
@college_query I think there are accepting churches such as Episcopal, Unitarian, etc…but those seem to be in the minority.
Also, on a side note, if anyone is interested, Prayers for Bobby (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prayers_for_Bobby) is a televised docudrama based on the true story of the life and legacy of Bobby Griffith, a young gay man who killed himself in 1983 due to his mother’s homophobia. Ryan Kelley stars as Bobby Griffith and Sigourney Weaver portrays Mary, his mother. Very touching film. I think it’s also available on YouTube.
^Maybe you have an aunt or cousin or other female in your life who would be willing to help you with the clothing, makeup, hair, etc.? I agree that’s very important, especially since you missed the phase where most girls grow into doing those things. As a woman who grew up with no real “parenting” on that front, I totally sympathize with that aspect.
Really? you expect a parent that is not too thrill about this to help you pick a bra??? I think you are asking w-a-y too much of your parent. I wouldn’t have a clue as to how to fit a bra on a male body. I don’t even help my daughter pick bras, she goes to a department store where they have people that can measure and fit bras properly. If you don’t think you can pick out clothes that “don’t make you look like a drag queen”, go shopping with friends. It’s one thing to ask a parent to accept your gender of choice, it another to expect someone that is not 100% on board to help you find a bra that fits!
@sylvan8798 I’m not out to anyone besides my parents yet. It’s been pretty stressful…
@3scoutsmom I see what you’re saying. I actually have some breast growth from very, very mild self medicating (Yes, I know). Got kind of fed up with a lot of red tape from where I’m from. =(
@cafowogor I have no real words of advice on the trans subject. I did want to say, though, that sometimes my kids found it helpful to text or email me information when they thought I may get initially angry but given time to think I would calm down.
Would it help you to email your parents about the pflag.org website and any other thoughts you may want to share with them, give them time to read it and think on their own time, then talk about it? That may help reduce the heated discussions.
True, but the kind of self-described “Christian” who is transgender-unfriendly more often tries to claim that such messages speak for all Christians, so that may be what the OP is used to hearing from family and associates.
@ucbalumnus Particularly damaging when close family friends (especially people who see you grow up) are very vocal against things like same-sex marriage…
@cafowogor I’m sorry that your mom is having trouble adjusting to your truth. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and I hope you will continue to reach out to the parents on College Confidential in addition to the support systems you are developing IRL.
It will get better.
ETA - I am a member of a very accepting Episcopal church. I hope you will consider finding a supportive church if you are so moved. Different parishes are more traditional than others, so keep searching if at first you aren’t comfortable. I’m almost sure that most every Unitarian Universalist congregation would be welcoming as well.
Do you live in a city where there is an LGBT community? If so, there may be a support center near you.
@cafowogor - I think that regret is much more common than you realize, but the people who express their regret publicly are shouted down, ostracized, no-platformed and threatened. I’ve witnessed it. It’s only recently that it has become much more easy to transition. It used to be that you had to go through very thorough and extended psychological evaluations prior to surgery. Now kids are getting hormone treatment before puberty. I really think that in 10-15 years, we will be hearing from a movement of people who were transitioned as children and who feel their lives were ruined because of it.
I’m not saying that I think you will live to regret a decision to transition. I obviously don’t know you, and I don’t know anything about your background or how long you’ve been struggling with this, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be my place to decide what your truth is. But I do find the drastic uptick in the number of people who claim to be struggling with their gender concerning. A lot of older people who are gay will tell you that they struggled with gender identity at one point, but when they finally accepted their sexuality and grew older and became more comfortable with their own truths, they were then able to embrace their physical bodies. But I don’t think kids these days are getting the kind of sophisticated help that will help them sort out the nuance. I hear stories of kids who don’t fit a certain mold just kind of being railroaded into identifying as transgender. So, yeah, I would worry and want to make sure that my child had enough time to experiment just living and loving as he or she is, because pumping hormones into your body for the rest of your life is nothing to be taken lightly. It wouldn’t be an issue of not accepting my child, I would be concerned for his or her health. But, ultimately, of course, it’s not my decision to make.
Regarding the clothing - I can tell you that 80-90% of all women in the United States are wearing the wrong size bra. So go to Nordstrom and have a proper fitting. 
The self medicating is concerning. Where does one get that kind of thing? The internet?
@Trixy34 : “railroaded”? That is a very strong accusation that you need to back up with more than “I hear stories”.
OP, I really think finding a support group in your area would help you. Have you looked for one? (If you already talked about that and I missed it, apologize.)
If you order stuff online, do your parents inspect it or do you have some privacy there? Do you have any close female friends that you could either confide fully in, or at least, ask to have something shipped to their house for you? With bras, you can start with a sports bra which doesn’t need as careful of a fitting. If you were average-sized as a guy, you’d probably fit into a L or XL sports bra, and you can get them on amazon.
I don’t remember if you said, but are you graduating and moving out? Still in high school? Or going to college but needing to live at home? I know it’s nearly summer break but check out your school’s GSA club and see if you can find some allies there.