@GPS when you have acceptances in hand, you’ll be invited to accepted student days. You’ll have the opportunity to ask how each school does this and you’ll also be able to talk to current parents about how they managed this. Definitely take advantage of this! Figuring out how the school is making this shift from parent-driven/overseen responsibility to student responsibility is a really important part of fit, and if there are resources you know your child will need to succeed, this is also the time to understand what they are and how they are accessed.
It’s great that you’re thinking about this – there may be a path to success that doesn’t involve you seeing grades, but knowing what it is is critical. (You can always require your child to share their log-in, btw, and that option exists everywhere!)
My school barely told us students our own grades during the marking period; you basically would have to guess your grade by approximating what you got on your major assignments up to that point. I think it’s intended to help prevent grade grubbing, seeing as my college does the same thing).
We also had a system where students got their midterms (feedback-only) and term-end reports (feedback and grades) on paper about a week before they release online (to students and parents alike). This was intentional; my freshman year advisor told me it was so that we could prepare to break the news to our parents. I guess that made my school more college-like? The general vibe I got from my parents’ impression of my time in HS was that they definitely wanted to minimize parent interference.
At the same time, the attendance thing wows me. We had to get all of our absences/tardies cleared with our advisors, and even one unexcused absence in a marking period would get you a detention. More than that, and you’re looking at some pretty harsh punishments, including discussion of dismissal at 7. So maybe we had a mix of policies. My friend loves telling the story of the time the Head of House banged down his door because he slept in through all of his classes one day
I also don’t mind postgrads. We only ever have them on the football team (the total number of non-football PGs in my year was maybe 3), they all live in senior-only housing and mostly take senior-only classes, and even in the case of the football team, the captains are elected ahead of time, so three- and four-year seniors aren’t “crowded out.” Maybe the dynamics differ elsewhere?
Our school did. I saw the grades and comments, as well as, the syllabus and link to class materials and online resources. I also saw absences and tardies for classes and after school commitments (sports, advisory, etc)
Most schools have very detailed descriptions of their grading policies, grade reporting and parental access to the portal in their student handbook which you can access online.
My son goes to a junior boarding school and is currently in the process of applying to senior boarding schools. He applied to JBS during COVID so we did not get to visit the schools before applying and chose the school solely based on reputation.
We will not make that mistake again and are visiting and touring all the schools he is applying to. While dolcejr did very well academically at his JBS, it was a poor fit in many ways. So we’ve learned to visit, tour, will revisit and ask a lot of questions.
@Dulcesugar makes a great point about the power of physically being there. For those who have been through the process, can you shed some light for those of us who have only done the tour/interview:
Was revisit day helpful in the final decision-making process?
How did the reality of a child matriculating and studying at their BS compare with your expectations based upon a visit or visits?
Yes! There was a lot more time – a whole day-- on campus. At the school ultimately chosen, we had access to pretty much everyone. Questions that we may have hesitated to ask earlier in the process were now fair game.
Nothing is ever exactly like you think it will be, but overall, yes, the experience matched up pretty well. I think DS could have been better served by his advisor, but that was unfortunate luck of the draw (and DS liked said advisor), and there were a handful of situations that could have been handled differently. But that seems almost inevitable over 4 years.
DS was very well prepared for college, not just academically but also in terms of how to engage with a community. And now, almost 8 years out, he still has close friends from BS, and they make a point of getting together.
Yes, revisit day made a huge difference for one of my sons, who was choosing between two schools. Went to the 1st revisit day, liked the school. Was completely undecided as to which would be better for him. Went to the second revisit day, and both he and I knew within the first 30 minutes it was the place for him.
We weren’t able to go to revisit days as we live very far away (overseas and more than one flight). I really wish we had been able to go because I think we would have had a much better sense of which school would be a good fit for our daughter. I think her school is a good fit, but we will always wonder if there could have been a better match because we were never able to get to campuses while kids were there during the process. We just went with reviews, gut feelings, interactions with adults while on campus, and our consultant’s expertise.
What I wish I knew…is that, despite our kid badly wanting to head off to boarding school and get away from parents asking about homework, projects, sports, teachers, clubs…there were times when they were homesick, perhaps even a tad scared. It wasn’t obvious to us at the time - kid has close friends and is doing well academically and otherwise.
Somewhat belatedly, we now make a more intentional effort to visit as frequently as possible, or have them come home. Kid is happier, as are we. Wish we had done it sooner.
Revisit days were so important for us, and I strongly encourage anyone to go if possible. My son was accepted at three schools. As parents, we had a strong favorite of the three before revisit day, based on academic rigor and programs available, location, size, etc. The revisit day for that school ended up with it being our last choice out of the three he was accepted at – it was fairly unorganized, my son felt that the students he had classes with were not kind to each other, one of the classes was left unsupervised while the faculty member went to speak to a parent panel – it was just overall very disappointing and definitely not a good fit for him.
He ended up choosing the school that he felt most comfortable at during revisit day – their revisit was actually an overnight in a dorm, so it gave him a very good feel of what life was really like there, the chance to eat three dining hall meals, see what happens in the dorms after classes are over, etc. It is not perfect, no school is, but he is doing well academically and finding his way socially and overall has been very happy with his choice.
Sharing an observation from our daughter over the past couple weeks of winter break - everyone that sees her has asked how she is liking boarding school so far and then follows up with what, specifically, she likes about her school. Overwhelmingly, she has said a big difference for her has been the quality, style, and level of teaching available at her school. She had previously been at a private international school overseas, which has an excellent reputation. But she has asserted that the teaching and teachers themselves at her boarding school are much better than what she experienced at her other school. So, add this to what we wished we knew - that the level of teaching could really be that much better (even coming from an already well-regarded private school).
Probably because it’s not all about the teachers’ skills or what is in their tool box, but knowing their students so well and being able to respond to them as individuals.
Revisit days really changed our direction. It is a time to stop impressing and really focus on imagining yourself within a given community, spend time with the current students and get a sense of your potential peers. A chance to ask questions and really see how students interact with one another. Trying the food, seeing classes, attending club fairs, spending time in dorms and at activities are very different experiences than a 45 min. tour while you are thinking up questions for your interview. Note: some schools do a better job at revisit days than others (which sadly works against them). While our daughter believes she would have been happy at any number of the schools she considered, she loves her school.
If you’re an athlete that has patiently, faithfully played as a back-up for 3 years and expect to finally start your senior year…it can be disappointing when a stud PG comes in at your position.
Hello. We are a family exploring BS’s for the first time. We are a West Coast family and my daughter is driving the interest in attending an East Coast boarding school. We are open to supporting the desire because I think it will suit her independent and mature personality type as well as her desire to be engaged in many sports/activities as well as academics. BUT…I have concern about what I have found online about various BS scandals and what is in the “What I wish I knew thread”'s about lack of supervision. FYI… I recognize most/all high schools will have hook-ups, drugs/alcohol but we are looking for a BS that does not jump too close to a college experience while freshmen are still 14. I’m open to any tips you might have on how to avoid choosing a school that doesn’t have proper protocols for 14 year olds living away from family. Any schools you suggest we look at that hold the high schoolers a little closer to the heart as opposed to giving them free reign with little supervision?
Thank you!
