Thank you for the replies guys. I know I come across as really, really negative in the post. That’s partly because at the time I wrote it, I was really frustrated after being taunted by school bullies the whole week. And partly because this post can only be truly understood by someone who has experienced being ignored/thought-nothing-of all their life due to something they could not control. Of course, there are a lot of positive things in my life, and some great friends, but the experiences I mentioned are all true and my post was just going to ask about my chances if I wasn’t a leader and how I could improve. Sorry, I guess I got carried away in all the sudden anger, remembering each moment that happened as I wrote about it.
@Lindagaf yes my posts are legit. That post about tutoring is something I asked because I remembered that activity and thought whether i should use it as a substitute for some leadership ECs I don’t have. Like I said, I seem very different in this post because of my emotions at the time I wrote the post. I have formed great friendships and had great experiences in my life. I was just talking (or ranting lol) about things that I couldn’t do even though I wanted to. But, and this may sound really bad like I’m just trying to blame someone for my life, I can see clearly by your questions that you can’t understand my position. Trust me, the inner feelings of disappointment and humiliation that you feel when someone does something as simple as assuming your worthlessness, do really stop you and drain your self esteem. And I’m the furthest anyone can be from thinking they are entitled, I currently study at an international private school where no matter how good your achievements are, there is or was always someone better or someone far more accomplished than you. Infact, seeing so many great high achievers at CC has pretty much dissolved my feeling of being unique ( hah, I was delusional when I used to think 4-5 years ago that my grades made me special, trust me, those feelings are long gone) I am fully aware by now that grades don’t mean much when it comes to true life values and admissions to US colleges. Why would I be struggling to improve my ECs if I thought my grades already entitled me to top US colleges. And for an international student needing full aid, the only colleges available to meet that need are the best of the best. If the colleges are lower ranked, their Scholarship programs require the same level of achievement as a top college’s average admitted applicant.
Anyway, to the rest of the replies, thank you, your insight really helps. I will try to come up with new ways I can develop my authority and still do my desired service for my society. @momofsenior1 Haha, ill certainly think of this when writing my essays, at least I could use my experiences in one positive way.