I am going to be blunt. The problem isn’t that you look like you are ten. If you are not getting respect, it’s because you clearly seem to have a giant chip on your shoulder. Your good grades and test scores do not enititle you to a free education in the U.S. Your good grades and test scores might help you get into a great college in your own country.
Regarding all of those things you applied for and didn’t get, did you have to submit a photo? Did they turn you down because of your appearance? The “unenthusiastic guys” who did join you were there at least. Why didn’t the project succeed? Why didn’t you offer to help fundraise, instead of waiting to be asked? One girl said she was impressed by something you did. That’s a good thing, but not in your opinion.
I’m sorry to say this, but your post gives me a negative impression. You come across as petty, resentful and jaded. You are 17, but sound as though your future is doomed because you have been dealt an unfair hand (not sure what the unfair hand is, exactly. Looking young?)
Everyone can contribute and be a leader. If you want to make an impact, join an existing organization that has a proven record of helping street children. Starting things on your own isn’t the only way to show leadership. Get a job and work hard. Earn more responsibilities. That shows leadership. Tutor some kids at your school, or younger kids. That shows leadership.
Teacher and counselor recs are critical at the schools you plan to apply to. I would choose teachers wisely. If your attitude is coming across in class, you might have a tough time getting good recs. The good news is that you are really young. You have a lifetime ahead of you to do the best with what you have. It’s good that you have come here and are looking for advice. My advice is to work on being less negative. It will help you in all aspects of your life. It might be a good idea to read your initial post again, in a week or so. Try to imagine what strangers who read it will think after doing so. Try to rethink all the scenarios you mention, and imagine what you might have done differently, given the chance.
There are quite a few posts from students who are worried about college/life because they are short, overweight, shy, whatever. You are who you choose to be.