<p>He doesn’t listen; not just to me, but our kids, friends, etc. Had his hearing checked &, of course, it’s fine. He also doesn’t communicate. It’s rather quiet around my house.</p>
<p>He’ll complain that I’m a control freak, but when you live with someone who doesn’t listen, it’s just easier to handle everything on your own.</p>
<p>
Yep. We have that same dynamic. Interestingly, we had a major blow-up two weeks ago and I decided to take the approach that it’s me with the problem and to let him deal with things as he sees fit. He is competent, smart and personable, but he’s not a detail guy and has learned that this week. After several costly missed appointments, he has considered the possibility that having someone willing and able to organize him might be a blessing. We’ll see how that works.</p>
<p>The Beatles or Rolling Stones</p>
<p>Dh doesn’t remember anything. Even if I’ve just told him. Three times. He doesn’t remember what we’re doing that night, where ds2 needs to be, when ds1 is comng home. And I write it all on a family calendar. </p>
<p>This has nothing to do with aging. He’s always been this way, and it’s maddening, makes me feel unimportant and frustrates everyone, including himself. The best zing I ever got in during an argument (though, truly, we rarely ever argue) was early in our marriage when he said he just doesn’t remember things, and I pointed out he can tell me the name of the third Klingon from the left in just about any Star Trek episode. And that’s true. That realllllly ticked him off, because, obviously, he can remember things when they are important to him.</p>
<p>I usually find myself on the planning side of large events that take up a great deal of time. He complains the whole time that I am burning the candle at both ends. We fuss about the importance of said project, etc, but he will never acknowledge its importance. Then on day of said event he runs around telling everyone how great I am how proud of me he is. I will tell him that someone told me you said you were proud of me and he will say, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”</p>
<p>Now what irritates him about me is simply something I can’t really help but have learned to explain. My mind is like a rapid fire mine field. My brain just processes information pretty differently than anyone I have ever known. We will be a car and he will see some pigs on the side of the road. He will make a comment about said pigs. I will comment on his comment and then might say, “did you see the article in the paper about Jerry Jones this morning.” Normally it will **** him off that I made a major subject change but he now just says, how did you go from pigs to Jerry Jones. And I will say, well, in the old days, footballs were made from pig skin, that got me thinking about football and I then remembered the article from this morning. He can handle the link, and my thoughts are linked, sometimes it takes explaining. :)</p>
<p>Her: “I feel like I’m doing everything around here! I’m doing all the work and get no support! Why does it all fall on me?”</p>
<p>Me: “But honey” (pulls out chart documenting what time was spent in the last month) “look, we are spending close to the same amount of time on things.”</p>
<p>Her: “I don’t care about that, that’s not how I feel!”</p>
<p>Me: (keeps low profile until this month’s episode of PMS Drama ends)</p>
<p>Most of these issues got resolved when we got a cleaning lady. No more fights over whose turn it is to clean the bathrooms.</p>
<p>
Reminds me of this: [Men’s</a> and women’s brains; - YouTube](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ9L9YBJkk8]Men’s”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ9L9YBJkk8)</p>
<p>:cool:</p>
<p>DH keeps insisting we should be paying off big chunks on our large mortgage. Our accountant has explained that it’s more important to save for retirement and have an emergency fund. Every few months, DH brings up the subject again. I’m the one who makes out the checks, so I just send in the regular payment and hope he forgets about it.</p>
<p>Our other issue: I am messy but ultra-punctual. He is always late, but ultra-neat. To me, it all balances out, but DH gets upset freqquently that our house is not cleaner.</p>
<p>Husband says he does NOT snore. <em>I</em> say he does. Now really…how would HE know?</p>
<p>Him- Satisfied with seeing Pearl Jam once every couple years.
Her- Not.</p>
<p>Where will we retire to?
Me: Oregon
Him: Texas
Me: Not Texas</p>
<p>Where will we retire to?</p>
<p>Me: Texas
Him: Not Texas</p>
<p>DH is from Wisconsin. He still hasn’t learned that a Texan is ALWAYS a Texan, no matter where she might live. I think I will prevail…</p>
<p>The empty cat food cans can wait to be thrown in the garbage can until I’m done peeling our breakfast fruit.</p>
<p>Oh, and we are not moving to Iowa. Period. Nothing against Iowa, but we are so not moving there.</p>
<p>*We never have one. She is always right.</p>
<p>(Of course, I could be wrong…) *</p>
<p>No…you’re right this time. ;)</p>
<p>============================================</p>
<p>My H knows not to argue facts with me because I have a really good memory… and his memory is AWFUL …unless it has to do with sports facts or other hobby interests. </p>
<p>We do argue about social engagements…he often commits to things without checking the family calendar. He recently committed to a trip to see his mom…on the SAME weekend as son’s college graduation!!! </p>
<p>Previously, he committed to a trip the same weekend as Parents Weekend (which we already paid for!). </p>
<p>He booked a golf tee time at the SAME time as his sister’s wedding - which he was IN!!! He also committed to two different BBQs at two different co-workers’ homes at the same time…and then tried to excuse his decision by insisting that we could attend both…when they are 60 miles apart! lol</p>
<p>Since his memory is soooooo bad for things that aren’t “top” in his mind… in recent years I’ve learned to email information to him and ask for a response. This way he can’t later insist, “I didn’t know - you never told me that.” He still will try to claim that I never told him something, and then I produce the email and his response as proof. 
(lol…that feels sooo good after years of being told, “you never told me that.”)</p>
<p>I’ve learned that he’ll “commit” something to memory if it’s important to HIM…golf tee time, work meeting, etc…but if it’s anything other than that, it’s “in one ear and out the other,” hence the emails.</p>
<p>He doesn’t listen; not just to me, but our kids, friends, etc.</p>
<p>ok…sexist alert…lots of men “tune others out” after the first few words. See my post above about the email hint!</p>
<p>*Dh doesn’t remember anything. Even if I’ve just told him. Three times. He doesn’t remember what we’re doing that night, where ds2 needs to be, when ds1 is comng home. And I write it all on a family calendar. *</p>
<p>Another person who needs the email hint.</p>
<p>And…BTW…don’t use big paragraphs…bullet form works best…like…</p>
<p>Friday, Sept 29th…8:00 pm …dinner at your parents’ home.</p>
<p>Saturday, Oct 5th…10 am…Joey’s soccer game at high school.</p>
<p>let me know that you’ve read this by return email. Love you.</p>
<p>Another retirement location divide.</p>
<p>Me: PA or MA…not in a city.
Him: NYC</p>
<p>He is not budging. I like visiting NYC but am not a city person and could NEVER live there full time. This is going to be a tough one.</p>
<p>*Things that cause friction between me and the luckiest woman on earth:</p>
<p>When we go to the garden section at Home Depot and I obsess over the ivies.</p>
<p>When we shopped for a television, and I kept asking the salesman which brand had more layman’s prestige, Panasonic, Zenith, or Sony.</p>
<p>When I complain that the “master” bathroom shouldn’t be co-ed.</p>
<p>When I run a red light and ask her to chance me on not getting a traffic ticket.</p>
<p>When I asked total strangers whether it would be better to buy a Kia for $15,000 or a BMW for $50,000.</p>
<p>When I failed two STD tests, and blamed it on just being a bad test taker. I told her when they superscored them, the results were actually pretty good.</p>
<p>When I refer to our kids Henry, Yolanda, and Patricia as HYP. *</p>
<p>Schmaltz…Priceless!!!</p>
<p>MainLongHorn - I totally get the always a Texan thing. DH believes Dr. Pepper from Texas is better; he still roots for the Cowboys; and he loves his Whataburger. We live in California. And although he left Texas in 1979, he still talks about Texas like he was just there last week.</p>
<p>Still not sure where we’ll retire but it won’t be Texas (unless he goes alone)…</p>
<p>momtocollegekids - rofl rofl</p>
<p>I am very reassured by this thread, especially the posts about “where to retire.”</p>
<p>The discussion here will be when (if ever) to move out of this house.</p>
<p>I just can’t envision shoveling this driveway when I am 85…</p>
<p>We cannot agree on how much money we need to retire comfortably. Dh is still stuck dwelling on our net worth pre-crash; his employer’s stock is worth about 15% of its high and it constitutes far too much of our nest egg due largely to much of his compensation being in restricted stock awards & options. Thousands of options expired while still several fathoms under water. I never counted that as part of our savings because it didn’t seem “real” to me, so our current nest egg doesn’t appear unreasonable and we’ve always lived frugally. We revisit the issue every couple of months, and it’s not generally a pleasant conversation.</p>
<p>Isn’t Zenith owned by/subsumed under LG? Just wondered…</p>