<p>I don’t mind living in Texas…there are some really beautiful places here and the people here are actually quite wonderful (even the huge numbers of transplants 
). You can get a lot for the money, there is no state income tax, the winters are mild, the falls and springs lovely. I just can’t stand it from July to mid September. Absolutely miserable…</p>
<p>"I used to get irritated and shout, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU,” but that started fights, so a few years ago I just started ignoring her unless she was actually within reasonable talking distance. "</p>
<p>For years I’ve been trying to institute an if-you’re-not-in-the-same-room-don’t-try-to-talk rule. No luck so far.</p>
<p>1) Constant disagreements about $$$ and how much needs to be saved for retirement. I think we are in great shape compared to 98% of others out there because we have always lived frugally, but DH is constantly worried. It’s as if he inherited every aspect of his grandparents’ Depression mentality. I have sort of given up dealing with it because I will never change him.</p>
<p>2) That d*mn Crackberry. Day and night. Checking it at all hours. I now treat him like a second grader and will not speak to him unless he puts it down and looks directly at me. If he glances at it, I stop speaking to him.</p>
<p>3) I KNOW that he will live to regret how hard he has worked to the detriment of spending time with his kids because he’s a great father. He now complains that they don’t really talk to him (they’re young adults) but I can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t realize that he’s never been home enough. On the other hand, he has worked like a dog to provide private high school and college educations for them. I just wish there could have been a better balance for the whole family’s sake.</p>
<p>oh, I forgot the other argument:</p>
<p>It starts with the line: “Are you going to wear THAT?”</p>
<p>mom2collegekids: Email might work for some important communications and it certainly leaves a “paper” trail. DH handles his own stuff & is actually quite organized, but with family obligations, he knows he can always count on me to keep him on track.</p>
<p>Silpat-
Are you married to my DH? (See post # 20)</p>
<p>Another one here and I’ve given up…</p>
<p>I am perpetually EARLY for everything…and every event.</p>
<p>DH is perpetually LATE (it’s genetic…everyone in his FAMILY is late for things)</p>
<p>I solved the “are the dishes clean or dirty?” issue by making two magnets, “clean” and “dirty” and one is always on the dishwasher. Easy fix.</p>
<p>^^^^^^^</p>
<p>briliant. Stealing the magnet idea!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>H is always talking to me from some other room in the house. I just ignore it. Luckily, he’s a man and I don’t think he even notices I ignored him. If it’s important, he always brings it up again when I’m right there.</p>
<p>One thing I do which I’m sure makes my H nuts, though he is too smart to ever complain about me to my face, is use his razor in the shower when mine runs out. :eek: I know this drives men crazy, but I do it anyway.</p>
<p>I solved the “are the dishes clean or dirty?” issue by making two magnets, “clean” and “dirty” and one is always on the dishwasher. Easy fix.</p>
<p>I’m not sure my H knows that we have a dishwasher. </p>
<p>"I used to get irritated and shout, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU,” but that started fights, so a few years ago I just started ignoring her unless she was actually within reasonable talking distance. "</p>
<p>I’ve had to do that, too. My H will be completely in his closet and say something to me two rooms away. I just don’t say, “what?” anymore, because he’d be annoyed. He needs to be within normal hearing distance to me to expect me to hear!..especially if I’m near a noisy thing…like the microwave running or the washer running or sink with running water. </p>
<p>But, seriously, the email tip works WONDERS…it also works for my kids (boys) who often only half-listen to what is said to them. But, again, no paragraphs…they’ll never read beyond the first sentence. Use bullets!</p>
<p>The dirty/clean magnet has been extensively tested on a population of mostly male scientists, and the results were not encouraging. We still find dirty dishes in the sink even when the dishwasher is completely empty!!! YMMV.</p>
<p>I married Mr. Right. His first name is Always.</p>
<p>Actually, I’m happily married, but my collections and piles of papers drive my DH crazy. I’m also time-challenged.
What drives me crazy: he doesn’t recycle.</p>
<p>My wife and I ARE the dishwasher. I believe that one is not washing efficiently if there isn’t at least a 10% reject rate. She disagrees. So she washes the dishes. (and I do all the cooking.)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>this made me laugh out loud. :D</p>
<p>so true.</p>
<p>I find threads like this so reassuring.</p>
<p>In our house it’s the kids’ job to empty the dishwasher. And part of the chore is filling to back up with all the dirty dishes in the sink.</p>
<p>So the longer they procrastinate emptying it out, the bigger the pile of dirty dishes that is waiting for them.</p>
<p>DW’s habit that aggravates me the most: If she is on the computer writing an email or whatever, she will completely ignore me if I say something, until I am literally standing 6 feet away yelling “HELLO! I’M TALKING TO YOU!” It’s like the rest of her brain just shuts down. It really makes me angry sometimes, and has led to arguments. IMO no email is so important that you can’t interrupt to talk to your spouse, if only to say “let me finish this first”.</p>
<p>re the shouting across the house: I will generally just pretend I didn’t hear it, and make them walk across the house to talk to me in the same room. It seems to work pretty well - if they can’t be bothered to get out of the chair and come to talk to me, it probably wasn’t that important anyway.</p>
<p>Ooh, another one:</p>
<p>ME: “I had a good day at work today. I finished a project and got treated to a nice lunch.”</p>
<p>HER: “…”</p>
<p>ME: “Um, and it was…nice.”</p>
<p>HER: “…”</p>
<p>ME: “Did you hear me? I said I finished a pro—”</p>
<p>HER: “I know, I heard you!”</p>
<p>ME: “Well, you didn’t say anything!”</p>
<p>HER: “What do you want me to say?”</p>
<p>This gets me steamed. I think that normal people expect someone at least to go “mm-hmm” or nod or SOMETHING to acknowledge that someone has just told them something. She doesn’t. (But if I do the same thing to her, she asks me what’s wrong, if I’m mad, etc.)</p>
<p>We USED to argue about my driving. Now that he is OK with my driving (I really WAS pretty bad), it’s about what to do about thorny family members. </p>
<p>Mostly, we just agree to spend less time around them or interacting with them when they’re being irritating.</p>
<p>As someone who was divorced a few years ago after 23 years of marriage, I am often envious of the marriages of many of the CCers. This thread is making me feel better :D</p>
<p>Schmalz, well done!</p>
<p>The argument I refuse to have is the one where I KNOW H has a strong opinion about what he wants us to buy for our home but says he doesn’t. I then suggest we just buy whatever’s cheapest, often at Costco & then chuckle while I watch him spring into action to research & buy whatever he really thinks we should have. Since I honestly DON’T care and he really does (tho up until I suggest we go for low price he doesn’t realize it), it has worked out pretty well for us. We rarely argue about purchases–whomever actually cares about the item will do the research (if any) & purchase the item.</p>
<p>all the big ones: money, sex, religion, kids/education, housework/home maintenance, work/life balance/time/hobbies (his lack of involvement with the family), his crazy driving, me sounding like my mother/him acting like his father, which of us is the worse spouse (HIM, obviously), whether we should A) get a divorce or B) go on a trip for our 25th anniversary. </p>
<p>Little things don’t bother us. We keep our clean dishes in the dishwasher and the dirty ones are scattered around. (Step one of dishwashing–kids’ job–at our house is “find the dirty dishes–check sink, counters, table, side of couch, bathrooms, under S#3’s bed. . .”) Whenever my relatives visit, they always try to switch us to “put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher immediately” which is the right/best/only way to do it–as soon as the visitors leave, we’re back to our old “system.”</p>