<p>No H but my BF and I have a few similar quirks. We like to poke fun of each other about them. He’s of the wash the dishes immediately, dry them, and put them away variety. I’m of the let them pile up in the sink and do them once I am out of plates variety. I don’t get irritated with his way but he shakes his head about mine. I’m of the pay my bills, see whats left over, then make plans accordingly variety. He’s of the lets make plans and then pay bills then complain about not having enough money to do all the plans he made variety. Amazingly enough no matter how much complainintg there is always enough money for beer and golf??? Oh and he’s of the I’m tired so I’m going to take a nap right after work and then be up all night variety whereas I’m of the I’m tired so I’m going to eat dinner straighten up go to bed early variety. That’s about it really… never even really have had a fight (knock on wood)… I think it helps that we’ve accepted that we’re of different varieties on certain things and neither of us expects the other to change.</p>
<p>Mantori suzuki, your post strikes a chord with me – my H has a conversational style that is very different from mine, and from what I gather, most women. He’ll start with, “The director of X called me today…” and then won’t say another word until I ask, “And what did he say?” The whole conversation goes on like that. Drives me crazy! </p>
<p>My main quibble is anything that my H does that puts me in the Mother role, as in HIS mother. So, I will not organize things for him, plan things for him, find things in the house for him. If he asks me where something is kept, I say, (innocently) “I don’t know.” I just don’t like being the chief house manager, so resist being put in that role. Lucky for me, my H is a quick study. He’s also the most tolerant human being on the planet. That’s why our marriage works so well. :)</p>
<p>I feel like I’m letting out a closely guarded secret here, but contrary to popular belief, not every woman can multi-task every task. I have a total block with technology and multitasking. I can’t do two things at once. If I stop in the middle of an email to say one darn thing I might as well start the entire thing over again. My husband and I have had this discussion. He’ll come home from work and if I don’t look up, doe-eyed and happy to see him, and respond verbally he gets irked. It took me a while to convince him my brain just can do it. I’ve taken to waving at him without taking my eyes off the screen. That, I can do. Something about losing a visual and talking is the problem. If he really can’t wait he’ll tell me the wave it’s going to work and I put the computer down. Once he understood I wasn’t being rude it didn’t bug him. He just let’s me know when he needs my attention immediately.</p>
<p>This is one of the very few things we worked out via reasonable communication… we’re both pretty stubborn.</p>
<p>We have the Texas/Not Texas retirement arguments as well! </p>
<p>Hiring a person to come in and clean once a week ended 90% of our arguments. Money well spent. </p>
<p>For the most part, we get along very well. I attribute that to the three marriage counselors we’ve seen over the past 22 years, hard work and a rather large helping of luck.</p>
<p>my H has a conversational style that is very different from mine,</p>
<p>My H will start a conversation using pronouns and I have no idea who the antecedent is. If I ask, he’s sometimes annoyed. So, I often just wait to try to figure out who he’s talking about (boss, co-worker, neighbor, brother, etc) from context clues. </p>
<p>And, he’ll be talking about one of our sons, and then start talking about another son…all just using “he”…and I have no idea that he’s switched kids.</p>
<p>I’ve finally have gotten him to admit that he changes subjects without any warning or segues. He’ll be talking about one thing, then in his mind he’ll segue to something else, and then start talking about that as if I can read his mind and know that he’s moved on to another subject.!</p>
<p>DH & I are both punctual people, but he’s so afraid of being late that he usually arrives somewhere up to 20 minutes early. It took 30 years of marriage to convince him that other people don’t appreciate it when you show up early.</p>
<p>Me: “Why didn’t you do ___ when I asked you to, and now I have to do it.”</p>
<p>I am one who is always doing things ahead of schedule, and H would wait until last minute. I have mellowed out more on this issue, I just give him a lot of heads up, and on good days he really tries to do it according to my schedule.</p>
<p>“He’ll be talking about one thing, then in his mind he’ll segue to something else, and then start talking about that as if I can read his mind…”</p>
<p>Mom2collegekids, I think our dh’s are indeed long lost twins. My dh has done this for so long that I’ve become pretty good at figuring out when/where/how the focus of his conversation changed. He jokes about me spelunking in his brain, but gets a little freaked out sometimes when I anticipate where he’s going with a thought before he’s said very much.</p>
<p>I used to get annoyed about dh going off on tangents during a discussion about something that was important (& time critical), but now we joke about it. It helps that since we both passed 50 we’ve developed what we refer to as Etch-a-Sketch brain. We now claim that if we bend over to pick up a dropped pen or get something from a lower cabinet, whatever we were discussing is erased from our short term memory and we have to start over.</p>
<p>I love when they think we are mind readers or have xray vision.</p>
<p>BF and myself when deciding if we are carpooling to work the other day or driving separate.</p>
<p>BF - You better take your car, and I’ll take mine. I have plans after work.
Me - OK. (gets in her car and drives away… drives up the street 20 feet and makes a left)
BF (2-3 minutes later) calling my phone - COME BACK AND GET ME!!!
Me - Excuse me??
BF - I have a flat, didn’t you see me jumping up and down and waving my arms trying to get your attention?
ME - No, how would I have seen that? You told me to take my own car so I drove forward 20 feet and made a left???
BF - Just come get me or I’ll be late!!!
(8 hours later when we’re leaving work)
Me - do you have a ride home?
BF - Yeah…
Me - Ok great!
BF - but how are you getting home once I take your car??
Me - THWACK! (Thankfully he was kidding!!!)</p>
I think I may be married to Youdontsay. Actually, I think I may be married to several of you.
On this one, the only difference is that I do OK if it’s written on the calendar. If it’s not written on the calendar, it doesn’t exist for me, no matter how many times she told me about it. It just doesn’t stick. I think maybe my brain is just full of trivia, so there’s no room to store the timing of other events.</p>
<p>I tend to ruminate for a while before I talk about anything important. DH, on the other hand, thinks out loud. He’ll come up with some doozies, such as, “Maybe we should sell the house and get something smaller…” It used to freak me out, but now I just nod and listen to him, and he soon forgets he ever said it out loud.</p>
<p>silpat-
Loks like momof3sons is married to our spouse too!
I informed my DH I wanted a house in Napa. That added a few $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ to the retirement planning :)</p>
<p>And schmaltz- many of us don’t touch an iron . No creases in my jeans, or DH’s jeans. Lucky if they arent a wrinkled mess. I love the stuff you can spray on and remove wrinkles</p>
<p>LMAO, Hunt! Hard to resist the sales pitch:</p>
<p>“Keeping track of important dates on your Wall Calendar is easy when you can view 12 months of inspiring images that reflect your personal interests.”</p>
<p>I love when you click through the months it’s just different angles of that one shot. I think I like the hedgehog one better.</p>
I’m of the pay my bills, see whats left over, then make plans accordingly variety. He’s of the lets make plans and then pay bills then complain about not having enough money to do all the plans he made variety. Amazingly enough no matter how much complainintg there is always enough money for beer and golf???