What to do if freshman daughter comes home for holidays and basically lives with older boyfriend?

That does sound elitist to me.

Many of the non-college grads I know are super smart and can easily engage in intellectual conversations.

I have 10 nieces and nephews ranging from 20ish to 30ish. The one making the most money by far (multiple of any of the others), is just a high school grad. This person probably makes more money than most of the posters here.

I hate generalities and broad brush strokes. College isn’t for everyone nor should it be. There are ways to make a good living without going to college. Nor is college an indicator of ambition and intellect.