Touching on the shoulder or arm isn’t hugging. Isn’t grabbing.
A lot of this thread would have been clearer to me if, in some minds, the touch hadn’t been turned into a bear hug. Lol. Or pinning her.
Nothing inherently wrong with a light touch. It’s a human gesture.
Of course, it’s also human to overreact.
I don’t especially like to be touched except by people I know quite well, but I wouldn’t have reacted like THAT. I was listening to a podcast (Modern Love) this week about a guy asking a woman he barely knew if he could suck on her toes during a cab ride, and I could not believe that she said YES! And… it turned out, so did one of her coworkers on another cab ride with the same guy! That gave me the creeps. Someone touching my arm after a sports loss is nothing compared to that. >:P
Now we are really going off the topic. 
Just thought it might lighten it up, since the OP is feeling bad about having touched this woman. And it DID stick in my mind after I heard it!
Not saying that this woman has any of this, but just an FYI why someone can be touch sensitive.
I’ve met some folks with what I believe is called sensory processing disorder. For some, it is a certain texture, for some, it is touch by anyone other than a relative, for some others - a haircut etc. One person I know cannot touch any velour - it makes her really nauseous.
Of course, an adult should be able to control her emotions even if she has that disorder…
I don’t have a problem with the touch. Though n the future I will think a bit more before I touch someone.
I would say this is probably a case of there was more going on with this woman. It was probably not about losing the game or being touched. Or maybe she was just hungry, tired and cranky.
@BunsenBurner Mr R worked with autistic children for several years. I’ve learned out of habit to ask people if they’d like a hug or if it’s ok for me to touch them for whatever reason except for people who are very close to me.
Many young families I know are raising their children to be able to communicate whether or not they want hugs or kisses as soon as they’re able to articulate such things. I love the trend. It teaches kids the meaning of consent from their earliest memories.
I don’t think it’s fair to label this mom a crazy sports mom or anything of the sort. Again, no one knows what was going on with her.
I don’t think the OP did anything wrong, but I also don’t think the other woman was at fault either. Sometimes things like this just happen and it’s a type of miscommunication but not something either party did wrong per se.
OP, I’m sorry if I contributed to making you feel attacked. I didn’t mean it in the least. I just understand the woman’s outburst.
I don’t think this is anything new. My kids were raised as such and so were many of their friends. They were taught to not have people touch them anywhere that’s uncomfortable. I used to tell them to let me know if someone touched them and didn’t make them feel good.
Just sending you some hugs @LeastComplicated! I do empathize on many levels, including having to sit through several games/seasons of a losing high-school team (and we did same thing - celebrate improvement, even if games weren’t being won).
It is eye opening to me how many people on this thread have a problem with being touched. I can’t imagine being upset or irritated if someone gave me a compassionate touch, tap or hug, whether I knew them or not, no matter the situation. People are just trying to be kind, and I recognize and appreciate that. It’s not like a smack on the butt or a crotch grab, jeez! 
But I don’t know if this woman’s problem has anything to do with a touch. To be so incredibly rude, speaks to me that there is something seriously wrong going on with her, and I would stay clear unless she initiates contact.
A couple of months ago, when my sweet dog was dying, I had many strangers and casual acquaintances give me unsolicited hugs. I really didn’t want them, because I was beyond the point of wanting physical contact…but I tolerated them and thanked the people, as I understood they were being kind and felt compelled to hug me. I think the look of grief and devastation is impossible to ignore, and people feel as if they need to do something.
I also am sending a hug to @LeastComplicated. It really did seem like things got rather harsh and, while I understand that some disagree, I think @LeastComplicated did nothing wrong in that very brief interaction. She was just being polite and then compassionate. I’ve never known people to be so offended or uncomfortable with the type of touch she described so that’s an education for me. I’m also more thin skinned than I like. In the two somewhat similar situations I’ve had, I still think about them on occasion even through they were quite awhile ago. I’d love to learn how to have thicker skin!
It’s pretty funny to see so many people on this thread say they had no idea some people find touch unwelcome, AND ALSO to see so many people say that if someone finds a touch unwelcome they should suck it up and not react the normal way a person would react when they are subjected to an unpleasant experience by another person.
Yeah, that’s how we end up with people not knowing other people don’t want to be touched-- because you keep saying, don’t let us know you don’t want to be touched.
Wasn’t my interpretation. Neither is it my hill. But I guess the virtual hugs here are ok?
This is all interesting about touching. I looked up affectionate cultures. On the touchy side, Pacific Islanders, Eskimos, Italians, Portuguese, Brazilians, Middle Easterners.
On the not touchy side, Germans and other Northern Europeans, Russians, East Asians.
Do the people who do not like being touched by humans also not like being touched by any animals? I hate when animals like cats touch my feet.
What an interesting question. I am usually ok with a hug from people I am close to.
I cannot stand cats touching me and am not thrilled with dogs nudging me or licking me.
I have had many dogs in my life so guessing it is just others dogs.
I have a huge issue with shaking hands due to germs/illness being passed. I try not to but if I
must I simply use had sanitizer shortly after. Drives my D nuts. I wish our society would stop the
hand shaking all together.
One reason I dislike hugs is that so many use fragrances and leave it on my face/skin/hair.
Scents make me feel ill and sometimes I will have to shower and wash my hair to get the odor off.
I told a friend, years ago, that I preferred not to hug as her perfume was then on me—well, I was super
nice about it but it was a very difficult thing to do. As was telling an older friend and my dearest beloved
aunt to please not wear scents when visiting.
Still, if someone I recognized touched me on the shoulder I would not flip out on them.
I wonder if this woman was upset about something completely different than anything to do with the
game.
I still think the op did nothing wrong at all and that this lady needs to either apologize or simply
make it ok by being friendly the next time they meet.
I agree sometimes there doesn’t seem to be support here. I think we come here for that often, just like going to a friend. Would some be so harsh with a friend with their opinions. Probably not. I find that I stop now and second guess whether I want to post something as people will jump on it without any support. OP, in those cases, I’ll go to PM someone or others who I know are more diplomatic. That woman was rude. There are too many nice people in the world to continue to go out of your way to speak to her. Be polite if she does speak to you. If she apologizes, then perhaps more…but I would be wary. People show you who they are.
I am not a fan of touching but would not have been upset by this touch. You have a relationship with this woman,albeit a niche-y one, and were well intentioned, your actions were understandable. You weren’t some random stranger grabbing her. I think she had something else going on that made her react so strongly to something that seems to me like within the realm of normal human interaction. (As a digression: I don’t like all the hugging and air kissing people do now. H is from a different culture in which people do a lot of it, though, so I have learned to adapt. I am still an awkward air kisser, so I am sure everyone knows it makes me uncomfortable. That they don’t care does kind of piss me off, but I deal with it. A touch on the shoulder wouldn’t have upset me.)
If she isn’t a friend or someone you always sit with, I’d let it go and just be wary of her. Act normally but warily. If you are thrown together pretty often, sitting on the bleachers or preparing game day snacks, it might clear the air to just say something simple like “I am sorry I upset you the other day. I didn’t mean to” and then let it go. She can explain more or just nod and move on.
So…the normal way a person should react when an acquaintance touches them on the shoulder or to speak about something they don’t want to is to shrug off one’s hand forcefully, and then spit out, “DON’T DO THAT! I SAID I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!” ?
Maybe that’s normal if it’s your mom and you’re a hormonal teenager.
Perhaps it’s cultural, perhaps it’s local, but where I live (Seattle), people are particularly nice and compassionate. They go through great effort to be kind to others and are infinitely polite. I can’t imagine anyone reacting like that around here, unless there was something seriously wrong with them. It’s not like some random stranger touching your shoulder, it’s someone you know. Apparently in your culture it’s just fine for adults to have tantrums if they feel like it?
Yes, there is a way to tell someone not to touch you without freaking out and making a scene. It just takes a little bit of self awareness and maturity, and consideration for others.
OP, that woman was wrong to snap at you. Hope she is more pleasant the next time you see her .
Did she really YELL or was she just bristly?