<p>
</p>
<p>True enough…but after 25 years or so it’s time to let go about colleges attended.</p>
<p>Nobody talks about it except FM, yet a couple of dads continuously mention online that they attended Yale how long ago? It must be some type of Yalitis - I had a partner years ago who was a Yalie and he mentioned it multiple times a day in his 20’s.</p>
<p>FM, I think that you are finding the Ivy League overwhelming because your daughter is a student, not necessarily because your husband was long ago. It becomes less exciting and overwhelming as time goes on, and when you realize how resentful and envious it makes people, you learn to curb your enthusiasm. </p>
<p>In answer to your question related to spouses, mine did attend an elite, and I attended a state school. He is the most humble person in the world, so of course it has never been an issue, because he’d never make it one.</p>
<p>^It’s very relevant on this board to talk about where you went to college, and where your kids went to college. It certainly isn’t meant to be boasting when I do so. I never talk about where I went to college if I can help it in real life - among other things it’s quite obvious I didn’t live up to my potential!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>My husband married one of these 
in one of his non-loser moments ;). And to both our daughters we said “You don’t have to marry a doctor or a lawyer, you can be one.” They are both at state U’s, not much worried about status, and hoping to have a career that will keep them happy and able to support themselves with or without a husband.</p>
<p>And I second the gentle mention of therapy for anyone who is still insecure about where they went to school.</p>
<p>
Me too … I understand there is some history driving the critism. However, there is another variable not being discussed … maybe, this particular Harvard grad is a d*** and for 20 years has been beating the idea of his superiority home … for most people if they hear a message enough times eventually it gains some traction if even if it has no merit.</p>
<p>But 3togo, in that case, wouldn’t a little counseling still be worth considering?</p>
<p>I got a chuckle out of the thought that FM could be a ■■■■■ from Yale ;)</p>
<p>I’m way more ridiculouslly well-educated than H, (uselessly so, I might add. 
).</p>
<p>His state school education has gotten him further in the world, quoted by the ______, etc…while I’m off in my little corner of the squalid universe attempting to help addicts save themselves from whatever it is they will most likely not be able to save themselves from this year. :eek:</p>
<p>Judging by the company we keep at work, I’d highly recommend a bachelors from a state U. Just sayin’. (No, I wouldn’t change my life with the junkies for anything, but it is still a life with the junkies. let’s be honest.)</p>
<p>No, when you find yourself feeling this way, like you are somehow “less than” someone else, you need to just go out and do the thing you think you need to do to measure up, not because you don’t already measure up, but because you feel as if you are missing out. You ought not to live your life feeling as if you didn’t do everything you wanted to do. I once heard a person say that these are just longings in your soul waiting for you to find them. Go get a grad degree somewhere. Satisfy your desire to be more educated. For you. Not for anyone else. YMMV</p>
<p>“for most people if they hear a message enough times eventually it gains some traction if even if it has no merit.”</p>
<p>This is very true. Yesterday I was in line to order at McDonald’s, and I overheard the couple in front of me discussing what they were going to order. I leaned between them and said, “You might want to try the Holy Cross. It’s an hour west of Boston.”</p>
<p>^^^ I don’t get it. ('Cause I didn’t go to Harvard??)</p>
<p>As a kid raised by a devoted Princeton alum, I get what the OP means. My husband’s a Harvard grad,but certainly not a gasbag!! Haha. I went to Wheaton in Mass, the first girl in three gens not to attend Smith. (all three were miserable there but it was where One went) Wheaton was the best thing that ever happenned to me…so…when it came time for college hunting for our son I was pushing for smaller,second tier (God how I hate that term. Smacks of second rate)and it was a bit of a struggle. My husband couldn’t get behind my realistic ideas about academic fit. Now he’s come around.
To the OP, go to Reunions! Any illusions of superiority will be dispelled! (that’s a word, right?) we love going. My husband’s classmates are bright and funny,doctors and lawyers and ne’er do wells like at a lot of other Reunions around the country.</p>
<p>My H went to a prestigious private school. I attended a SUNY. We were dating on and off during college, and visited each other several times so we saw each other’s schools. We both have the same graduate degree from the same state university. He has said that he thinks it was a waste of money to go to his prestigious private school; he believes that I received just as strong an education from SUNY as he did and paid a lot less for it. Our oldest D is starting college this fall at–yes–the same SUNY I attended.</p>
<p>It’s not like this anymore, but for many going to the prestigious colleges was where you would find your own “kind” to meet and hopefully marry. Social as least as important as academics.</p>
<p>There is something forlorn about a grown adult caring about where someone went to colleges decades ago. </p>
<p>One of the wonderful things about Wifely is that when you met her you’d think she is interesting, enagaged, thoughtful, smart and caring, and you would never know that she has degrees from the most prestigious colleges in the world. (OP, it would make you question your husband’s pedigree.)</p>
<p>There are 2 reasons for that: first, she’s not the sort of person who trades on prestige (it’s a parlor game to calculate how few minutes it takes a self-obsessed Ivy grad - or in the OP’s case, a parent and spouse - to casually drop their school into conversation the identity of their Alma Mater . . . funny how often that happens.)</p>
<p>Second, the identity of one’s college from years ago isn’t really an accomplishment. Young adults can be justly proud of doing the work required to graduate from ANY college. As one grows up, one’s work, vocations, volunteering, building a family and interests in life are all much more important than one’s degree. They have substance; one’s old Alma Mater, none. </p>
<p>Kei
just a BA from a state college</p>
<p>^ spot on, kei.</p>
<p>I volunteer with a woman who constantly reminds us that she attended an ivy league school and no one is ever impressed. Most of us are state grads. Then there is another volunteer who shows up occasionally because of his weird work schedule but when he does, he lights up the room with his great sense of humor and enthusiasm. This guy also went attended an ivy league school but none of us knew until someone asked him. Now, that’s what impressed us.</p>
<p>I work in Big Law in an administrative capacity and it always amuses me when first year associates come in every fall and say “don’t you know I’m a laywer from X?” and I always say “look around and find someone who isn’t.”</p>
<p>The brother of a co-worker just got appointed to a position on the faculty of one of those Ivy League medical schools based on a revolutionary, life-saving process he has pioneered that will improve the quality and length of life of some cardiac patients. Everyone here was oohing and aahing over this man’s accomplishments. Because sometimes it’s what you do later with the education and how you pass it on that really makes you special.</p>
<p>There are jerks from Harvard and there are jerks from the University of Arkansas! Also awesome people from both. In this state most people wouldn’t understand why anyone would go anywhere other than University of Tennessee, unless they were REALLY “a brain” and picked Vanderbilt! Why would someone go up north? Football isn’t nearly as good.</p>
<p>This reminds me of a comic strip I once saw about a Nobel laureate in various scenarios. The Nobel laureate would wear the Nobel Prize around his neck, and whenever they got into an argument, he would point to the prize around his neck and he would win the argument. Also, when he would walk his dog, he would often say, “You know, Dog, few people can appreciate the full significance of my work.”</p>
<p>^^lol, MOWC</p>
<p>My cleaning lady dropped out of hs in the 10th grade to help her maternal grandparents run their wheat farm and cattle ranch. When they died the farm was left to her uncle (mothers bother), who kicked her out a few months after he took over. She now works as a night janitor and cleans houses 3X/week. Her husband is also a night janitor (no hs diploma) and a self employed window washer. Their 2 daughters attended our state u both graduating with honors. One is doing a pediatric residency and the other is a speech therapist. </p>
<p>I am far more impressed with my cleaning ladys family than the OPs truck load of H grads.</p>
<p>Thank goodness no one in this family graduated from an “elite” university…or if they did, they don’t brag about it.</p>