Oh my God I was going to post this, but I was afraid I would be judged harshly! I was telling my husband that this is the only good part of our new empty nest.
So as a potential guest - any advice? My brother lives in a resort area and is always (sincerely) inviting us. We’ve never stayed with anyone before and are a little nervous about it.
You nailed it. I would prefer to wander around a bit in the morning but I am very conscious of putting on a bra and some clothes before venturing into kitchen to make the coffee
Once I had to host two high school girls from old country for a month. Not fun. My daughter was 5 years old and she wanted to play with them. When she tried to join them, they would just leave. She was hurt and I was angered. Called up other relatives and ask them to help me out and take them off my hand.
I agree that the worst is the up & social in the morning requirement.
My mother moved in with us many years ago, it took me a long time to feel comfortable walking around in my underwear, but now I do, I would not run naked to the laundry room, but I’ll go do morning coffee routine in my undies, I figure, she wants to live her, she can handle it, or not.
“ok my main problem with houseguests I am ashamed to say -is that I have to wear a bra! I am one of those ladies who is practically taking it off as they walk in the door.”
This. So much. Our kids & SOs came for the long weekend and it was wonderful to see them. However, the very first thing I did after they left was “get comfortable.” The next day a plumber was due to come in the afternoon so I had to be properly dressed. He never showed up and I was most annoyed about wearing a bra for five hours unnecessarily.
We’re expecting some hurricane evacuees shortly, so it’s back to getting fully dressed in the morning. In cold weather, I often get away with wearing a shirt (w/ chest pockets) and a fleece vest at home, even when we have guests or workmen around.
We have a lake home and invite people when we want them. People have asked to use it when we aren’t there and we say no. H’s 85 year old parents would like to use it but since our remodel they can’t figure out the gas stove, lighting and pre-programmed heating/cooling/security systems so we had to stop that due to some serious accidents and make sure we were there when they were there. As a result they didn’t come to the lake at all this summer. Now that the Ds are married I have to put a bra on in the mornings when they are all at the lake.
@Silpat off to buy some fleece vests. Do you think it would look strange in 85 degree weather? 
Oh boy, I missed the ‘you have to look presentable’ in the morning edict. =(( Sorry folks, it’s no bra, no makeup and no teeth or hair brushing. I set up the coffee maker the night before. I pull on my somewhat ratty robe, pour a cub and web surf while sitting in the best chair in the most open area.
At night the yoga pants go on, and the comfy - no bra, no cami with bra shelf, no nothin’ with elastic/hooks or binding- compression style under shirt goes on. My one concession has been due to DS living with us at the moment. I’ll throw a flowing top to cover any potential high beam issues.
I guess that’s where I really draw the line. It is my house and I’m sure as heck not going to make myself pretty for the guests. Heck, H doesn’t get that level of respect, why should they? :))
One of the hardest part for me is that when they come for THEIR vacation , we are not on vacation with them…in fact ,it’s just the opposite .
I am very particular about my kitchen equipment / knives and cookware and really prefer that no one with the exception of my daughters or sisters help at all. I don’t want my knives or anything with a blade ending up in the dishwasher
On Team Dietz199 here!!
If we have guests in our house, I assume they know us well enough to realize that we will walk around in PJs/flannel shirts in the morning. DH and sons will put on pants/shorts. (I use the flannel shirt/fleece vest trick for daytime visitors, too.) 
OTOH, we cook up some pretty awesome food, so they all keep coming back…
If the guest is a friend of my sons, I’ll wear a bathrobe.
Yes, one of the key issues is that visitors are on vacation and I’m not. Have to go to bed by 10…have to work all day. A lot of my work is in my office on phone or computer. I have to lock myself in there all day. H’s relatives all think I’m being rude. ooh well
Its a tough deal when you live far from relatives. I feel like I am faced with a choice…my kids get access to their extended family but I end up being a servant…cooking meals for my four plus (usually ends up around 10), changing sheets, towels, grocery shopping and spending boatloads of cash. And yes it is usually not when we are on vacation. My whole house gets totally disrupted by spouse’s family. They never seem to ask they just book tickets and say they are coming. His family grew up quite poor though now all are very well off. It is as if they don’t understand that there are hotels you can stay at. Like I mentioned in a previous post I have put my foot down and put limits on the visits. Still some members ignore this. When we visit family we stay in a hotel.
Ah, @Coralbrook, working from home is complicated, even when people understand, intellectually, that you “work from home” when they are visiting, they seem to want you to be capable of spending time with them, whereas, if I put on a suit and drove away at 7AM, they would think nothing of it. And they are thinking that it’s just a day or two with them, whereas I find it is everybody, parents, kids, extended family, friends, all year round.
I get up early for my household and I miss having quite time in the morning when guests are here. You never know when they’ll come down or need something which makes it hard to sleep in too.
I remember waking up early when we had guests once. Made sure to be all ready and even had breakfast ready at 8am. The guests (a couple) didn’t wake up till past noon.
The longest I’ve had guests stay was 6 months (inlaws) Along with them came a young high school girl from their family. Five of us having to share one bathroom in a two bedroom rental apartment. She used to use all my cosmetics and when I would come home from work I once noticed a pair of earings that I had in the closet sitting on my bed. Apparently she wanted to look at them. She used to go through all my things while I was at work. They were from out of the country and were amazed that fruits and vegetables are pretty much available all year long over here. I would go to Costco thinking I was good for a few weeks with what I had purchased. It barely lasted a week. I mean who drinks 3 cartons of orange juice in two days. I don’t want to even think about. The funny thing is I found out I was pregnant when she finally left. Turns out I had a girl born on the same day as the young lady who was our guest.
A sibling of mine lives in San Diego and she gets guests all the time especially during winter from the east coast.
I personally like my privacy so if I am visiting someone I prefer to sleep in a hotel so that I have some freedom to follow my own schedule. I have always had the habit of getting up and getting ready immediately before doing anything else. I can’t function or feel awake till I’ve showered and am fully dressed even on the weekends. I feel off if I don’t stick to a routine.
We used to stay at my parents’ house when we made the 11 hour drive. After a while we decided to bug out to a hotel. Was tired of sharing bathrooms and beds with 20 other people in a 4 BR house, and it was just perpetual chaos. Not something my DH deals well with in the best of situations (unless it’s at work, and then he’s brilliant at it). We were all dealing with sensory hyperstimulation. A hotel room lets DH leave to read a book and take a nap, and we all sleep better. My parents were insulted, but after a while got used to it.
@CountingDown. Exactly! I don’t know how people stand staying at homes of friends or relatives.
I think I failed to mention when our guests said their goodbyes to us at the airport my mil told me that next time they came to visit we should have a limousine with a driver for them to take them sightseeing and shopping. I later came to hear how terrible a hostess I was from other relatives. Till today I can’t believe I allowed myself to be walked on like that. I had started feeling like an outsider in my own home. The only place I could escape for a little while was work, the gym, or the grocery store. I dreaded going home.
When I worked full time in an office I had the excellent habit of getting cleaned up and dressed before i left the bedroom every morning. I’ve gone downhill with that good habit since self employed
I remember going to the grocery when the in-laws visited and sitting in the parking lot reading a book.
I also “went to the office” when I really just needed to be alone. There have been a handful of guests that
I have been ok with while the rest were just annoying (due to my temperament).
H thinks he is welcome anywhere anytime. He doesn’t get me but that is ok after 36 years–just going
to do it my way.