^ Ha! We told our kid at early ages, because they were professional performers, that they didn’t work for free and we didn’t pay for them to work (ie pay-to-play opportunities, etc). Once, when S was in kindergarten, he informed his teacher that he couldn’t do a skit, because “my agent wouldn’t like that.” We had to explain the difference between professional and school.
One thing against what some people are saying, that someone can work another job and still be able to audition and so forth, and that requires jobs with a lot of flexibility. The guy who is a lawyer then plays with his punk rock band is pretty much a lawyer with a fun side activity, and his only challenge is scheduling tours when he is on vacation. The person who works with the part time gig at the LA Philharmonic someone posted (would love to know what that is, never heard of that; I have heard of musicians who sub for musicians in orchestras, that is a typical gig in the music world, but usually that goes to working musicians as part of the mix of things, but that is on an on demand basis, not regular). With a CS degree, that kind of flexibility is not always so easy, a lot of companies, for example, frown on people working remotely, there is a large culture out there that people have to be in the office, and ‘office hours’ are more often then not not 9-5 Monday to Friday, the size of the flexible work kind of thing has shrunk quite a bit, especially in IT (that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, it means it can be hard to find. Start ups are usually a lot better with that, or if you can be a contractor they often won’t care where you work, but both have their downsides, as a contractor you won’t have benefits, and start ups even if you work remotely generally take a lot of time and effort, they are always in ‘rush mode’.
All options have trade offs, and for example most musicians I know of with day jobs are basically “programmers with a rock band”, or “Teachers who act”, rather in the end being programmers or actors who have a day gig until they make it, and the level they achieve is limited by the fact that they don’t have time to do the kinds of things that get someone into the performing arts on a high level, they don’t have the time to practice, if they have a band, especially if they are kind of the front man, to hustle to get gigs, to get the group to rehearse, write songs, etc…there are probably Jewel jobs out there that pay well and allow that kind of freedom, but in my experience they are Jewel jobs, not common, especially these days where jobs require longer and longer hours, and flexibility has come to be seen by many bosses as deterring collaboration and/or as not getting their money’s worth from employees.
I have never heard of a Jewel job.
I am getting a great amount of insight from reading all these posts. I will be loaded with questions and information when my son comes home from winter break. Funny, I have already changed my thinking from, "Oh God, he’s going to screw up his life, " to, “Now I need to figure out how to help him achieve his goal. Whatever it may be.”
A Jewel job is one where the job pays well, yet allows people to have a full life outside work and the flexibility to do what they wish, rather than being a typical job, you have to be at the job at certain times, that despite claiming to respect work/life balance is you live to work or you are shown the door, you have to deal with bosses who a revolted at the idea of employees having flexibility like working remotely (afraid of losing control, or more commonly, that if a worker is working remotely they are spending most of their time “slacking off”). Those kind of jobs do exist, and they are a jewel job because they are rare and getting even more rare.
It used to be very common for actors and musicians to work as either temporary or permanent flex-time secretaries, paralegals and word processors in law firms. I personally know 4 people who are performing prominent parts in major Broadway productions right now. I have a former colleague who is a very famous novelist and screenwriter who wrote the first Blockbuster novel in my firm’s word processing department. Unfortunately, those jobs disappeared forever in the financial crash.
“Now I need to figure out how to help him achieve his goal. Whatever it may be.” Or you could let him figure it out himself. 
“Now I need to figure out how to help him achieve his goal. Whatever it may be.” Or you could let him figure it out himself.
After a lifetime helping him achieve his goals, I doubt I’m going to stop now! He has called me his best asset, so I won’t stand down until he tells me to. He isn’t shy about that.
My S1 flied to audition in Eastman during his sophomore in architect. Although he was accepted with attractive scholarship, he decided to finish his undergrad in HK cos he don’t want his mother worry. S2 have a dream and just go straight for it. Why they are different? I would say it is their inborn character. Some kids have more than a dream and can’t make decision. Some go for one dream and some don’t want to have a dream. I have a dream. My dream is their dreams come true. So why not support my dream!
A post back in the low 100’s talked about security with a STEM grad degree. Then another poster gave some facts/sources why this isn’t so. Knowing a friend’s relative with elite college credentials has struggled to find academic work (now out of country job) it perhaps was for the best son got a CS job instead of math grad school. He just visited us and both he and we parents are curious where/what he’ll be doing in five years.
Agree with posters who have said that this is the time to take risks. How many of us can say we tried a lot of different things in our past? I was risk adversive because I never had financial security in my youth. I like the Adams quote- had seen it before but forgotten it.
I’ve never heard of Jewel jobs either. But I do know that the best opportunities for revenue for an artist are far far away from any corporate structure. There is plenty of work to be had as an independent contractor whether it’s gigging, teaching music, or working online as a virtual assistant. Creativity in work as well as art is essential. Think outside the box and create your own work environment. My D has never been able to work one job but always has two to three going on simultaneously. Lots of work, lots of juggling, and LOTS of saving, but it can be done. And as an independent contractor, if she has to take a few months off(as she did the last few months) for rehearsals, performance and travel it’s not a problem. I’ve had my own business long enough to know that there are no “jewels” to be found in corporate America.
@Busdriver 11–I can commiserate. My daughter has been pursuing an acting career since she graduated from college (4 years ago). She does regional theater in Philadelphia and supports herself with a number of part time jobs–teaching in after school acting programs and working as an interpreter at historic houses/sites. She’s also worked in a Standardized Patient program. See–https://www.med.upenn.edu/spprogram/join_applicants.shtml
I agree with the view of one of the poster’s above–if you’re going to pursue acting–you need to do it all the time. You can’t take a full-time job and try to act after work or on the weekend. You need to go to auditions all the time and to network and meet people and keep training. Also, getting an agent makes a big difference. My D now has an agent and is getting more chances to audition.
I think it’s great to follow one’s passion and see what happens. If it doesn’t work–your son is young and he can change directions. Good luck to him!
Hey, I think the answer to all our problems is for our kids to marry a rich and understanding spouse. Does anyone have one to offer up?
Considering your S is going into the arts, there’s a decent chance he may meet a fellow artist or patron/fan who comes from a well-off family…and possibly with her own large trust-fund to boot.
While I offer that up half-jokingly, on a more serious note it can happen judging by what I’ve observed with extended social circles of friends and college classmates who are performing/gigging independent musicians. A good mix of performers who are struggling musicians with day jobs along with musicians with extensive family support and/or large trust funds in their own right who don’t work day jobs out of immediate financial necessity.
While MS Windows systems may be complex in one sense, it also doesn’t require the same level of command-line proficiency or reasonable working knowledge of one or more programming languages(i.e. C/C++) which are the bare minimums to be a good unix sysadmin.
That along with the far greater numbers of reasonably competent Windows admins in the IT marketplace compared with equivalent competent unix sysadmins and the common perception that admining windows is mostly point and click within the relatively simplified Windows GUI interface compared with unix where unix sysadmins are expected to do most of their work within the command-line…including regularly writing background scripts in programming languages like C/C++ for routine tasks are some factors in why the barrier of entry is perceived as much lower for Windows sysadmins vs their unix sysadmin counterparts.
This also carries over into the CS/computer technology subculture as someone who can only proficiently admin a Windows system doesn’t command nearly as much “techie cred” as someone who can administer a unix system. It’s similar to how Dos/Windows users used to perceive Mac users…especially before OSX.
At my son’s music school, there is a mandatory class on entrepreneurism for graduating seniors. They talk about creating opportunities, marketing, networking, tax implications, etc. Being a performing artist is similar to being a small business owner or contractor. You go from gig to gig with often empty time in between. Kids who are successful need to be persistent, organized and willing to live with uncertainty. Full-time, consistent employment (such as orchestra positions or TV series work) is rare. And, for most people, performing arts jobs are “all or nothing” - when you are employed, it can involve long hours and travel, followed by days or weeks of idleness (except for practicing, lessons, etc). I don’t see how anyone who is serious could have a 9 to 5 “real” job.
Yes, cinema tends to be very “gig” oriented too, at least for folks starting out. There are a ton of folks who have written scripts and/or want to break into the field who work food service or other jobs while trying to get “a break.”
For classical singers it is a long long haul. Most are not really fully developed until they are 30.D’s undergrad teacher set her on her way with some great advice. Figure out how to support yourself on this long haul. Because if you depend on your parents, they set your developmental and career schedule. If you support yourself, your career is in your hands. And yes, 9-5 is out of the question. D, after some bad experiences with scheduling, came to understand that for her requirements retail and food service are out of the question as well. This year, D finally reached a “tipping point”, she is making more money performing than anything else. She has a substantial performance contract for 2017, but 2016 will probably be composed of multiple performance opportunities. Whether or not this is what’s considered “making it”, she is really living the life she set out to live.
I was unable to read every single post. I don’t have a child who changed career paths in such a significant manner. However, I do have a child who is in theater. In her case, it has been a lifelong passion and goal and not a change. She graduated college at 20 and is now 27 and has supported herself since graduation day, with a variety of jobs and opportunities all in theater and music. Sure, it is a very difficult field and no job is long lasting. I have fully supported her pursuing her passion and can’t imagine her not doing so. My kids also knew that upon graduating from their final degree, they had to support themselves and they have done so. Of course the income is not as high as for CS.
I think for your son, he ought to pursue his passion now. There isn’t a great reason not to. He doesn’t have a lot to lose by trying. And he will regret not doing so. In his case, he even will have a college degree in CS if he wants to return to that field. My kid was 100% in this field in terms of her degree path and following graduation, and I don’t mind at all that she had no fallback like your son has. She is even marrying a fellow BFA in Drama graduate!
Who knows what the future holds for your son, but he’ll have options whether he stays with theater or returns to CS. He sounds like a smart guy and that will take him far.
Thanks for the advice, @soozievt. It sounds like your daughter has been very successful—being able to support herself in such a difficult field, one would have to be extremely talented, I think.
I feel certain that my son will land on his feet somehow, somewhere. He’s a very good leader, and has a way of putting people at ease and making them feel comfortable. He lights up the room. I don’t know what we’re worried about. :o3
Being able to write a computer program to do a repeated task makes doing Unix system administration less tedious than Microsoft Windows system administration. It is also harder to “get under the hood” of Microsoft Windows when something goes wrong that the GUI does not offer an option for.