Sometimes, the server will just bring separate checks for everyone. Sometimes the server will ask “how do you want the bill to be split?” At least in the places I eat for lunch - mostly mid-range, no dives and no bars - the assumption is always that the bill will be divided, not that there’s to be one bill for the entire table.
As romani says, regional.
Why do we think this is regional. I live in the NE, but it would be hard for me to say everyone in the NE behaves the same as me. Like PG, I also do not believe in Michigan everyone or every restaurant would automatically assume bill is to be splitted. I think it would be a very big assumption for a wait staff to make. What if someone is paying for the whole meal?
The only time I have been presented a separate bill is at a diner.
Yes, regional and in my experiences, it’s not automatic but the server usually asks - how would you like this? One bill or separate checks? And separate checks is pretty common.
@oldfort, we assume it’s regional because those of us who live in Michigan experience it on a daily basis no matter the restaurant and no matter the region.
And what abasket said.
Normally the waiter/waitress comes over at the end and goes “Did anyone save room for dessert? No? Ok, will this be on one or separate checks?”
I don’t remember the last time that wasn’t asked.
To me, the idea that the server wouldn’t ask or that a bill would be split evenly is just kinda bizarre. But we are a product of our experiences.
Generally, when I’m at a restaurant, I make it a point to mention to the server at the outset if we want separate checks. I prefer to save embarrassment and scrambling at the end. It’s unfair to expect the server to read minds.
Servers often ask at the outset (if no one mentions it one way or another), if we are more than a H & W couple how we’d like the bill. At some restaurants, they tell you in advance if there’s a limit as to the # of bills they can provide for a table.
It’s important to double-check whether you have already been assessed a “service charge” when you have a group or you will pay a tip I. Top of the already assessed tip. Often around here, if your group is 6 or more, you already have the tip added into the charge.
Yesterday I went out for lunch with three other people. The server came over after the meal was over and said “I put it all on separate checks. Is that okay?”
The default in most of my lunch places seems to be separate checks, not one.
Really - I’m not making this up.
In NC it’s like Michigan where the wait staff does individual checks. Where I live you’d have to ask specifically for it to be done. My book club meets in a restaurant and ask for separate checks. When I go out with friends for dinner the check is either split evenly or sometimes someone picks up the entire check.
I didn’t respond the 1st time I read this thread, but now decided this might be interesting to share. We rented my wife’s cousins vineyard house a couple years ago, well actually, we got the week for free, cuz it’s my wife’s mother’s sisters’s 2 daughters that the house is legally owned by. Wifey’s uncle’s last wish before he passed was to buy a vineyard house and he did. so anyway the 1st year, the deal was mother-in-law had to come. but the nice thing is she took us out to dinner every night. and if you’ve even gone out to dinner on the vineyard with 5-7 ppl it gets expensive! this year we’re renting from Wifey’s cousins, as-in, we are paying, and supposedly Wifey’s Mom is NOT coming. dunno for sure but if does, that same deal would be awesome.
I live in Michigan. Usually the server will ask how we want the bill. Or we will say upfront, I’m with him or put the appetizer or wine on my bill. It’s not that big of a deal. Sometimes we want to treat and so we will ask for the bill.
We are going out to dinner tonight with my il’s and bil and sil. Mil will announce to the waiter, I’m with him and order. If it’s just us and mil and fil, sometimes we will treat, sometimes they will treat. However, bil and sil will invariably order a soup that they will eat a couple of bites of, or order an expensive bottle of wine or two, order the most expensive entree, which they won’t finish and sometimes a dessert they take a couple of bites of. We don’t like to share evenly with them as that is not how the rest of us are. I will probably order a glass of red wine, even though I like white to avoid paying a fortune for the one glass of wine that I drink and H won’t drink at all.
We are going to a nice restaurant tonight. Mil will not want any awkwardness or confusion about the bill. That’s why she will always tell the waiter that the checks will be separated.
When we dine with kids, it is quite obvious that we are a family, so waiters just bring one check and hand it to Mr. I calculate the tip, write it in, and he signs the slip. 
When we eat out with friends or coworkers, we either ask the waiter upfront or split the check evenly at the end, depending on the situation and the other people’s preferences. Sometimes, someone is traveling on business and has a meals expense, so that person might get a separate bill. If this is someone who is trying to sell me something, I definitely would not want to pay for the sales guy’s fancy dinner if he is not paying for mine.
With our kids we pay the bill. Yes, we assume that we are paying. But more than once the kids have told the maitre that they wanted to pay. With friends we split down the middle, unless one side or other is much more expensive.
"Right and if someone wants to pay in cash it throws a monkey wrench into the whole thing because then you have to do the calculating that the credit card system avoids. The person paying cash has to figure out how much cash to put down and then an explanation to the waiter is necessary. It’s not a huge monkey wrench – but it does involve extra steps that are not pleasant. "
Perhaps I wasn’t clear. It’s not that people hand 3 credit cards and a wad of cash to the waiter. It’s that one person puts it on her credit card and the others pay her their share in cash, which doesn’t involve the waiter.
Right, but it still involves looking at the bill, doing the math as to each person’s equal share, procurring the proper change, passing cash across the table, instructing the waiter as to how remaining credit cards are to be handled (e.g., if there are 3 people, 2 of whom are paying by credit card, and 1 giving cash to one of the credit card payers, the instructions involve saying something like this to waiter: “divide total by three and put 2/3s on this card and 1/3 on the other card.”) That’s why the tradition developed of everyone handing over credit cards and the waiter just automatically splitting among credit cards unless instructed otherwise. It is so much more pleasant for everyone at the table.
No, because there ARE no remaining credit cards. The bill was $80 - I’ll put it on my credit card and the 3 of you hand me a $20. The waiter has better things to do then juggle 4 credit cards.
I find it amazing that this is supposedly a custom in Michigan but not right next door here in Illinois.
Works well when the bill for four is $80 even and everyone has a $20 bill handy. Works less well when the bill is $173.84, which is a more typicsl representative total. Again, it’s regional tradition. Here, the credit card tradition is firmly entrenched. I personally carry very little cash and don’t want to collect cash from others, so the system works well for me.
Three cards split three ways.
This thread reminded me of my nephew’s wedding this summer. I went solo (D and W stayed home), and my parents had been picking up the dinner tabs for group meals. So one night at dinner when the check came, my brother announced “Anomander and I will get this one” without previously havng said anything to me.
Now you have to picture the dinner table. There’s me. Then there’s my brother, his fiancee, and their three college-age kids. There’s my sister and her husband and their three adult kids, and the future DIL. There’s an adult cousin (who’s a millionaire), and there’s our other adult sister. And then there’s our parents. So I look at my brother like he just grew a second head, wondering why on earth he thinks I want to pay for his party of 5 and my sister’s party of 6 when I’m sitting there solo. He got the message and shut up and let our father grab the check. BTW the previous night my sister and I had picked up (and paid for) takeout for everybody, and nobody else had offered to chip in.
This is my brother who on other occassions has “forgotten his wallet” when our parents didn’t elect to pick up the tab. One day I need to explain to him the difference between offering to pay and offering for somebody else to pay.
It’s definitely wrong to offer that someone else pay. Gee, I wouldn’t be thrilled with your brother either. It was nice of you to help pay for everyone’s takeout.
I am fortunate–don’t have friends or relatives who are “forgetting” their wallet or not offering to and helping pay.
^ Don’t ya “luv it”???
My worst time was dining with 2 other couples, one with 2 kids, the other with 1 kid. DH prefers not to drink, I had one half glass wine. The men in the other parties fancied themselves wine experts - 3 bottles brought to table, none inexpensive. Bill came and suggestion was made to split. My husband pipes up “You want ME to pay $300 for our share?” I would have kicked Hubby had I known the objection was coming and just bit the bullet. God bless my girlfriend who immediately stepped in and pointed out our lack of kids and lack of used wine glasses. Hubby paid generously, but fairly for our share.
Pizzagirl - I just remembered - downtown Chicago, I was dining with my girlfriend in from Texas who needed a receipt for business. I had no cash and she also wanted to use a credit card. Our server suggested splitting the bill between our two cards. Never would have occurred to me that this would be done - with a smile on the face of the server. He even asked how much to charge each card.
Yes, most servers are happy to put whatever the customers want on each charge card. Just learned they can easily split bills on multiple charge cards about a year ago. It makes things easy if the ordering was about equal and folks want to charge the bill.
It’s nervy for folks to expect others to help pay their expensive liquor tab. I’m glad I haven’t experienced that–would be irked on principle.