No, everyone has left :(.
@ScottshNicole Yes see if someone can jumpstart.
It is really simple. Now I realize that many people here don’t care if the kids wear coats, but coats become more than coats. If you want your children to follow rules, you just need consistency and patience. It can be any rule but for this example we are talking about having them dressed properly for the weather which seems like a perfectly fine request to me. You and your sister have tools in your tool box to help them with this. You just have to be consistent. You can have your sister wait until they are ready before they leave and don’t leave until they put their coats on without arguing. You can add a small reward like an extra book at bed time. You can add a small punishment like a time out.
Now putting on a coat could be any behavior. Not wanting to go to bed when you ask. Not wanting to pick up dirty clothes. Not wanting to help when asked. Anything. Now some people are saying. Don’t bother. That this is such a small thing which is not worth the effort but from my own perspective, helping the kids when they are young with good behavior with small things certainly made it easier when they were older with big things. They grew up being respectful and follow your family rules. It’s the solid foundation that you set. And if they get sick because they are cold and wet, you’re the one who has to nurse them while going to school. And those rules do get more important in the teen years when not putting on a coat become not coming home from curfew or not listening when you ask them not to drink… Consistency and patience. You sound like a good mum.
Hope your car starts.
@ScottishNicole Do you have an insurance service that can jump your car or friend or family? Your college should have a police officer or security person that you could call and ask for help?
Is there a ride service you can hail and come back tomorrow to fetch the car if you can’t find anyone today to help you?
The car just won’t start :(.
@gearmom The 16yr old is the twins’ sister, not their aunt.
@ScottishNicole You need to call for help. Are you in a safe place? Do you have campus security?
@gearmom The 16yr old is the twins’ sister, not their aunt.
@Consolation Oh, I thought that was her sister. Doesn’t change the advice though. The twins need to respect whoever is caring for them. It’s minor stuff such as putting on coats and putting away toys at six but it quickly becomes more important. If you have clear expectations that are enforced consistently and patiently then it certain makes the more important easier. Or else they learn to argue until you give up. You don’t have to fight every battle but the ones you choose to fight, you need to finish.
For car breakdown problems, wouldn’t roadside assistance (e.g. Green Flag) be the one to call?
@gearmom yes I am in a safe place and, no we don’t have security :(. The battery is dying, as I say, everytime I turn the key, the engine just cranks.
The disagreement is not in terms of following the rules. It is in terms of whether this particular rule makes sense, since it is about an action that does not affect anyone else, unlike helping others, cleaning up after oneself, etc… Probably most people posting here would resent a rule requiring them to wear a coat (like this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niq%C4%81b ) because someone else said so, rather than having the freedom to choose whether and when to wear a coat.
If it cranks but does not start, it may not be the battery. Dead battery results in weak or non-existent cranking.
Yup, sounds like the battery. You need roadside assistance or family or friends who could help with a jump. Or you have to leave the car and get a ride home, bus, Uber, Lyft?
I am just ringing a friend because Bethany needs to get to brownies soon.
If the car is cranking but not starting, it’s not the battery. Could be a host of other things, like the starter or fuel pump.
Regarding the coats - some kids just run hot. My D was one of those, always running around in a t-shirt while others were in jackets or hoodies. It used to get us plenty of side-eye when we were out with me and W in jackets and D happily in a t-shirt. We actually mentioned it to her teacher early on (since D was showing up to school in a t-shirt in cold weather although with a jacket in her backpack) and the teacher just laughed and said exactly that phrase, “some kids just run hot”.
I always kept an “emergency jacket” for D in the car trunk just in case, but never once needed it. Anyway, a 6-year old is old enough to know when they’re cold or hot. They’ll put on the jacket and zip up when they need it.
So they are “lazy,” but you want the teacher to reinforce their laziness by caving and doing something for them that they are perfectly capable of doing?
Yeah, I agree with everyone else here. This is not something you should be expecting the teacher to take on. If what they are really looking for is extra attention and nurturing, that is the family’s responsibility.
They CAN do it themselves but WANT someone else to do it for them??? And you believe this is the teacher’s responsibility WHY???
Natural and logical consequences should be the rule here: when they get cold, they’ll zip their coats. That was one of the most useful things my child development mentor taught me when our girls were in pre-school. It has served all of us very well throughout their growing up. They are both now responsible adults.
If it bothers you that their coats are unzipped, ask them if they are cold. If they say ‘no’ and it still bothers you, ask them to zip up because it makes you cold. See if that works. Use to work for me when a kid—mine or anyone else’s—came by with their shoes on the wrong foot. I’d ask them is their shoes hurt and wouldn’t they like to switch them. As often as not, they said ‘no’, so I’d say “well, it hurts me” and they’d promptly agree to change them.
Like the time my grandmother said that she was cold, so I needed to put on a sweater!